#ft. lena

Even though Jasmine felt more comfortable with a paintbrush than a carving knife, the later was a tempting offer when there were many types of tools and stencil designs to work with. "You more in the mood for makeup or sculpting?" Jasmine asked, referring to the two options. "Think they'll separate us if we choose different ones?"

@lenavaz @ximenaserrano @monixoconnor

Friday. Jan 24, 2020

More than anything, Alexander was tired. Tired from working yet another industrious shift, tired from the commute, from the cold shoulder, the telling sighs and rolling of eyes. He was tired. 

And so, when Lena had thrown her hands up in an exasperated sigh, Alex simply clenched his jaw and tapped his tongue against his upper teeth for an audible ‘tsk’, wanting her to hear it. They were in the same room, separated only by the plush couch, but there may well have been an ocean between the two of them. And the worst part? He couldn’t even remember why they were fighting. They weren’t even married yet, and they’d already forgotten how to talk to each other.

She stood with her back to him, arms crossed defensively, and Alexander leaned his hands on the backrest of the couch, staring her down for a few seconds before he stood up fully and walked towards the opposite end of the room. It was a subconscious move, but you didn’t have to be a psycho-analyst to read into it. Really, he just wanted a quiet evening at home, have dinner with his fiancee, maybe watch a movie together. 

“What are we doing here, Lex?” she suddenly asked, cutting through the silence that hung thick in the air. Her voice, despite sounding so aggravated earlier, sounded somewhat softer now. No - not soft, he realized. Dead.

“I don’t know, Lena - I guess we’re fighting over whether we should get cerulean or teal napkins for the main course.” Or something equally ridiculous, at least. Maybe it was about the way he folded their sheets. Or how she was always home later than she said she’d be. God, he was tired. Shaking that thought from his mind, he pressed strong fingers to the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as he shook his head, trying to find a way back to her. To middle ground.

“No--” she then said, waiting just a second too long. “I mean .. us. This. All of it.”

An instant knot formed in his stomach, his heartbeat throbbing in his ears as he looked at her. If he were any more honest with himself, he wouldn’t even have to ask, but he was so tired - it was easier to pretend. 

“What .. What are you talking about?” he asked, incredulously, eyebrows bunched in a frown but otherwise motionless. Everything seemed so delicate, so fragile, so sudden. But she didn’t really need to say anything. She looked down at her feet, pressed her eyes shut, and when she looked back up at him, he knew exactly what she meant. 

“Right.” There really wasn’t anything else to say. Not right now. He knew what she’d meant. He could almost taste it. The world - their world - stood still for a moment, after nearly spinning out of control, but just as quickly as it had been halted, it picked back up when Alexander moved towards the hallway, to the door, please - out of here, please. 

“I’ll be at my parents.” He knew he shouldn’t walk away like this, he shouldn’t leave her like this. They should sit down, together, talk, listen, feel. Understand. 

But he was tired.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” hand on the door handle now, coat in the other hand. Rough, edged voice. “-- Or something.” Unnecessary addition, solely to strike. But she’d needed only one sentence to condemn him to his death, didn’t he deserve at least one wild stab at her heart? 

And in a last desperate attempt, he threw the door closed behind him, heard the loud bang as it collided with the frame, but he just needed to get away. And the only question that remained now?

@magdalena-valentine

“Marry Salem, fuck Kayla and kill Lena. Scandalous.”