#frumkeit

Once upon a time God created the world. As the Torah tells that story it leaves clues to some deep underlying psychological truths.

In the beginning of [creation] God created the heaven and earth. And the earth was welter and waste... (thanks Robert Alter)

תוהו ובוהו is pretty untranslatable but equates to utter chaos. In choosing to create God made something other than chaos, or as the academics like to compare to the Babylonian creation myth where Marduk defeats the god Tiamat who represents the chaotic deep waters (tohu - tehom - tiamat!). Chaos is fundamental. Creation wrestles with, and provides an alternative to, chaos. That alternative is God.

I believe that fundamentally the human psyche continues to struggle with the chaos of life and find different ways, some more healthy than others, to connect with God in order to try to subdue that chaos.

In the ancient world the common person did not have understanding of, or control over, the most consequential parts of life. Have a sick kid? There is no medicine, no real understanding of why the kid is sick or how to help. Crops failing? Even though it rained. How do you understand why that's happening to you and not your neighbor?

Well, its simple, really, there were these powerful invisible things called gods who controlled all the stuff you can't control. Want control? Pray to them, offer them some gifts etc. Not very expensive or difficult. Your neighbor did it, and his crops are doing great. You try it and your sick kid gets better.

Scared of the chaos in life that is out of your control? Try gods, and who knows, maybe sometimes it will work, which I guess is better than the alternative.

This doesn't mean the farmer with the sick kid doesn't believe in Hashem. He 100% believes. He keeps kosher, doesn't work on Shabbat and goes on pilgrimage three times a year. He's all in on Hashem, but he's also scared of an unpredictable world.

You want to know why the prophets were endlessly railing against idolatry? Because looking for control in a scary, chaotic and frankly dangerous ancient world was not a philosophical choice for the average person, it was the same as buying life insurance. It made sense to the ancient average Joe. Telling him that it was forbidden was telling him to give up control. Thats really really hard, and it remains so even in our modern world.

Fast forward three thousand years. Someone's kid is sick and the doctors keep running tests, or dad gets the feeling his job isn't safe, or mom is worried her daughter can't seem to find a good boy to date. They davened, they gave tzedaka, they are a 'good' family, but the world is chaotic and doesn't seem to be going in their direction. What do you do?

Lets's ask the Rabbi, or the mekubal what to do. Invariably the answer is the same. (Interesting how the mekubal never says, 'I don't know what to do for you'). Take on a chumrah, to show Hashem you are good people who deserve berachot. (The clever mekubal ties the chumrah to the problem, preferably through gematria). Make sure you was negel vasser with a big shiur, or keep a more stringent level of shechitah, or say the parsha of the manna seven times.

Where does that come from? Is there an example anywhere in Tanach or Shas where the Navi says, if you want Hashem’s blessing make sure you are careful with tzniut, or check your mezuzot? Is there an example of a regular person going to Rebbi Akiva or Hillel or whomever and asking for a segula for success in business? Not as far as I know. (I'm happy to explain סוד ה' ליראיו)

You know why?

תמים תהיה אם ה' אלקך

That's really hard. All we really have are the things the Torah and neviim tell us, that don't feel especially frum, like take care of the widow, orphan, and the vulnerable in society, give charity, daven and keep the mitzvot. But if you do those things as best you can and they don't stave off the chaos, you want something more.

You want to know there is some super secret special thing that someone with super secret mystical knowledge and special connection with Hashem can tell you that will tip the scales in your favor, and give you that control.

The name for choosing to act on that urge is idolatry. And it is as alive and well today as it was 3,000 years ago.

But they captured the urge for idolatry, remember? Its a gemarah in Yoma.

Wrong. That story was illustrating a concept. Where did the source for idolatry come from? The holy of holies, the קודש הקדשים. The compulsion for control, especially today is channeled as Frumkeit. If I take on something extra I'm closer to Hashem, right?

There is no something extra. There is serving Hashem to the best of your abilities, and realizing that the results, the outcomes are in no way correlated to those inputs. There is no magic segulah of 40 days doing XYZ or some other thing not found in Tanach and Chazal that can insure your life turns out the way you want.

I know your friend tried it amd his crops are doing great, or his kid found a shidduch, but correlation ≠ causation. The sad truth no one seems to want to say is that your friend's happy segulah driven life is avoda zara.

There are no guarantees.

Its scary as hell.

I’m wondering if something like this already exists, if it does please tell me!

Basically as I’m progressing in my conversion, I am gifting books I have no use with anymore to other converts and BTs. I was wondering - if I made something where we could pool books, whether it be our own secondhand books, or books purchased with money raised, would people actually take part? So there could be a book list - something that will cover the curriculum required for conversion with most orthodox baatei din - and if anyone has any of the books they aren’t using anymore, they could donate it (or purchase one to donate!) so it could be passed on to a ger/BT who can use it (and hopefully then pass it on again!)

This is something I would’ve loved in the beginning when I couldn’t really afford books. I want to be able to bring judaism to everyone who genuinely wants to learn.