#frozen hands

Well, piss on a peacock.

Does these work for people?

Like actually keep hands warm, work?

I know why we wear gloves,

And understand the use I guess,

But my hands are still frozen.

I’ve tried the thick ones,

Doubling them up in pairs or more,

Tried everything I can for warm hands,

Still my fingers are frozen,

Any time I cycle somewhere,

My hands sting from the cold en route,

Even worse as they warm up.

So do gloves work for people?

Tell me please, I want to know,

Otherwise I’ll keep my hands in sleeves,

Peppy Pep Pepper

Arches

I was reunited with my childhood friends and they were kind enough to agree to this challenge.

Book 1 - Part 45: POOF!

Jack cursed silently. The devil-voice had seen right through his gambit. However, before his hopes were totally crushed, the voice continued:

“Nothing to get too worked up about though. I am a generous host, as you say, and I’m willing to discuss terms. But first, to the matter of revealing myself, and to the business of saving your poor hands before they turn black from frostbite, snap off, roll onto the ground, and become a permanent piece of my rather extensive collection of rare and interesting curios.”

“Sounds good,” replied Jack, noticing that his hands and wrists were starting to blacken a little. He could figure out how to get his gear back later. First on the list was saving his hands and getting a good look at the thing he was up against.

“Excellent. Then, as to our original deal, you will ask nicely to see me, and I will reveal myself, and save your desperate appendages. As to the other matter of the whatever-it-is that you claim was stolen from you (in addition to your so-called belongings) I shall agree to discuss terms with you, if you will agree to be my most magnificent, magnanimous, masochistic, ostentatious, audacious, ostensible, generous, degenerate, guest. And all that that implies.”

Jack thought that he knew what at least some of those words meant, and he was a little impressed that the voice had managed to both compliment and insult him at the same time.

“Ummm...sure,” he said, tersely.

“Marvelous. Well then, it’s your turn now. Ask away.”

Knowing that it was for the greater good in this instance, Jack swallowed his pride. “Will you please be so kind as to show yourself to me and free my freezing hands,” Jack asked as politely as he could manage.

“And?”

“And? Oh, right. Aaaand, in return, I agree to discuss terms with you as your most magnificently, massively, mechanically, originally, orderly, obviously, gentlemanly, generic guest.” Jack couldn’t quite remember what words the voice had used to describe him. He hoped that he didn’t sound too much like he was mocking it with his verbose reply.

“Sorry. Not good enough. You didn’t ask me correctly.”

“What!?” Jack exclaimed, “Hey, man...or...thing, or whatever, we had a deal!”

“Oh, don’t make such a row about it. I was only joking.”