#frostline

With nothing but that grim history to perceive herself as, she developed a very withdrawn personality and a habit of deflecting her way out of most interactions as plainly as she shunts off bullets with ballistic shields. Lacking experiences to guide her, she saw no direction to go but to join a company of rigorous ethical doctrine found standing between civilians and her originators more than any other.

Her only goal is to cancel out her past impacts to a net zero. But even if such things could be quantified, the value she's pushing against is unknown. And she knows that. She just does her best to ignore it.

She usually treats herself as little more than materiel to be used in her pursuit of negating that past. Even with the few close relations she has around who care about and encourage her, it's no simple thing to grow affection and respect for oneself as more than an instrument of war. Especially in the face of every first impression.

Barely a trace of social experience from before her escape. A tone of voice always slanted towards stern and serious paired with expressions even more so. Intimidating size supported by disproportionate legs that stand out like a pair of stilts. All introduced by a steady gaze that many would rather describe as "too intense". Most people seem to find a reason to be put off or put on edge. It's one of the few things she can read off other people; It presses at the back of her mind in a way somewhere between a 100-kilo weight and a burning flare.

Up against these barriers, it's often much easier to simply prove herself trustworthy to people by protecting them. Making herself useful to them. But that makes it all the easier to feel like nothing but materiel.

Perhaps surprisingly, she has more affinity with children. Maybe it's that they're more willing to accept someone as straightforward without ulterior motives, or maybe they don't see as much import in someone being created for warfare. She's particularly attentive to their safety and wellbeing, and finds it a little easier to make them feel safe around her without proving herself materially.

At surface level her behavior appears very self-isolating, but deeper examination reveals a significant preference for the presence of trusted individuals. For much of the day she deliberately places herself in areas near her few trusted companions while occupying herself with something unrelated to whatever they're doing. She makes herself present, but usually takes much encouragement (or occasionally, a direct order) to include herself in group recreation.

When she does seek full solitude, moving water is her first choice. Long showers are the most reliable, but she'd gladly stand under a waterfall given the opportunity. The pounding of the water provides a comforting pressure, and the pattern of its impacts a steady but random noise that can drown out concerns. A constant motion to take over so her mind can be still.