#from substack

x

Wow, it’s been more than a month since I posted something. Guess time flies when you’re having fun1 I do have a list of things I eventually wanna blog about - I actually did like Nolan’s Odyssey 2, Slay the Spire 2 continues to be fantastic, Pale Lights just had a season finale which was overall good, go read the cathedral of portals it’s really quite good… But I don’t feel like it right now, honestly. So these are going to be random things I’m thinking about as I write them. The first is how much of your personality seems subsumed by the fact that you’re a parent - except I take offence at that and think it’s fake. Right now, my son is the most interesting thing going on in my life! The one which has the most events (like pooping - no seriously, it’s become an actual event) It’s also the one people are most interested in hearing! Look, in a conversation with anyone there’s a limited amount of things to talk about unless you want to use their brain, go in a specific direction in mind, or go unsettlingly deep with strangers. Hence, baby talk and talk about babies. But from the inside of my own head, what I generally care about is what I care about, to be a bit lapalissian. Online novels like the cathedral of portals , how the Ukraine war is going, whether/when I’ll achieve Ascension 10 with all characters in Slay the Spire 2, whether I can make Claude cowork churn out an entire videogame for me…. Overall, my son is a surprisingly small part of my life. A huge part, admittedly. But less than society made me expect (and kind of dread, honestly). Subscribe now 1 fun in this case meaning dealing with a desperate baby screaming in your face 2 With the caveat that it’s a Nolan film with all that that entails, and that it takes liberties with the source material. But if you can get over that, I liked it on its own merits even though I disagree with that world view that spawned via https://ift.tt/2raxE6z

My son was born about week ago. Of course, I have a lot of scattered impressions I want to write down - and I will, probably even in this very post - but there is something I was thinking about a lot while I was in the hospital. Death. Child death, to be precise. Infant mortality. According to “Mother Nature”, by now my son should’ve already died at least twice. Firstly, there’s of course the manner of birth - it was a planned C-section, planned because it would’ve been impossible otherwise. In addition to that, after he was born he couldn’t latch properly to the nipple, making breastfeeding almost impossible; even now, after a lot of trials, we still have formula stocked up in the house just in case. Nostalgia for the past, for when things were “more natural” is my hated enemy for precisely these reasons. In general, though, things went well - or rather, as well as they can be. Like…. *** Let’s start with the nice things. Stocking up on energy drinks (Monster/Red Bull) was a smart choice. Likewise buying a couple of bottles of Soylent-like meal replacements - J*st food ) See also the secret message contained in this post - that was also a very excellent foresight on my part. Overall though I’m pleasantly surprised at how much sleep we’re able to get - we’re of course horribly, dreadfully sleep deprived, but sleeping a couple of hours a night instead of nothing leaves me with more resources than I expected. I’m also in love with the automatic sterilization machine a friend lent us - it makes logistics so much simpler to have at least one step that doesn’t require boiling water. Because - to go on the “challenging” parts of being a new parent - right now it’s all about logistics. I already said that at the beginning, my son wouldn’t latch onto the nipple. This meant that each feeding session entailed; preparing the formula on my part before he woke up. Warming the baby bottle - which also requires a small pot of near boiling water. Wrestling with an enraged baby for at least fifteen minutes. By the way, I’m proud to say my baby would win any wrestling competition he’s in - it’s like trying to pin down a cross between a greased pig and an eel. When he would eventually latch, the baby would do a rash movement and unlatch. Or grab the nipple protector with his hands. And when he did latch, and start sucking…he’d immediately fall asleep, exhausted. Then; feeding with the bottle. Which is the one simple part of the process. After that, putting the baby to sleep, then for my wife pumping her overfull/painful breasts while I started on the task of sterilizing everything. The astute reader will notice that newborn babies need to be fed every 2/3 hours, and that all the steps as I’ve described take more time than that - restarting the cycle as soon as it’s finished. So yeah. There’s a lot of variability in how taking care of a newborn can be effortful or not. If he’d managed to latch immediately…I can only imagine. He *can* latch now, I’m overjoyed to say - after we figured out the pharmacy we bought the nipple protector at was lying, when they said the brand the hospital told us to buy didn’t have my wife’s precise measurement. It’s by a couple of millimeters, maybe an eighth of an inch - but it makes all the difference. I am very happy to say though that my paternal instincts have kicked in and I do love my son. Now, I think it’s all a question of how to make each step of childcare more efficient and less effortful - I should’ve played Factorio before this 😆 Yeah, his head just came out like that Subscribe now via https://ift.tt/er2AmxY

So, I haven’t blogged in almost two months. That’s very my bad - especially since my goal for this year is to have two posts per month. Still, I do have a germ of an idea - maybe I can talk to claude/chatgpt on the way to work, so that what I say gets immediately transcripted in an easily copy-pastable method. My child’s birth is scheduled for the first of June. I don’t feel prepared. On the other hand, me and Giò have done everything right so far, as far as I can tell. (And really, how hard can it be, to raise a fully functioning human being? Abusive parents manage to do it all then time! /jk) Mostly I wonder if it’s a question of mindset. I do not feel like a person who is prioritizing the well being of another. I feel like a person who’s selfishly jealous of their free time and wants nothing more than to play video games all day. (On the other hand, would somebody who doesn’t care actually think these things? Also also, are there diminishing returns in play? Also also also, I refuse to let my wife do all the work). I am happy that I do have some plans - specifically, modafinil is going to become my best friend in the whole world - but I guess I just don’t know what to fully expect. In the meantime, I do have the media I’m consuming on my mind right now. Dungeon Crawler Carl is fantastic. I’ve been listening to it as an audiobook these past few months, and I’m up to book 6 of 8 so far. The humor is a blend of absurdist, gruesome, cynical. The plot is complicated rules-lawyering in the best worst style of litrpg videogame inspired power fantasies. AND. It’s got a good commentary on the modern world - the kind that’s not in your face and isn’t a one-to-one correspondence. (Yes, politically charged piece of media, I already know politician X is bad. You don’t have to tell me again. Maybe I’m more interested in what gave rise to it). (Also Great Man Theory of History is imo bullshit). Slay The Spire 2 I’ve already written about how much I love Slay the Spire 1. The early access sequel came out on March 5. I already have 78 played hours on it. It’s everything the first game was and more. I will note that since it’s in beta, so so many things are unfinished - but who cares I love it. (The way I hopefully will love my son). Subscribe now Slay the Spire 2 placeholder art. Yeah it’s a bit rough for now via https://ift.tt/ePMU7EJ

So, I’m going to have a child soon. Not sure whether I mentioned it on this blog yet or not. As an effort to get slightly more prepared with what’s going to come, I’ve started reading some books by Emily Oster; I actually came to know about them from the Rationalist/LessWrong/Guild of the Rose part of my life (proving it’s always been a good investment to passively be a part of it). The idea is that these are books written by an economist who’s a mother of two, who basically condensed all the science research she did while pregnant and while raising her children. This is very very good information! I’m glad I read it! I quite liked the colloquial tone, and how the writer came across as someone who’s in my same position - feeling woefully unprepared and uncertain. And surprised at some common advice that sometimes doesn’t make sense? (Although fyi, very interesting to see that sleeping on the couch with the baby is, like, the most dangerous thing one can do). Overall, none of the advice given is groundbreaking, but still appreciated. I’ll probably reread this once the baby is born, but for now I’m happy I have it in my back pocket. This is kinda the issue with positive news/good things in general; there’s not much to say. Although I will drop the goodreads link for the book: expecting better Very strongly recommended. Subscribe now via https://ift.tt/fdVI1Wc

@funnier-as-a-system

Like a lot of people my age, I’ve played and enjoyed a lot of videogames. They’re an art form that I think doesn’t give itself the respect it should, and that it’s capable of great things. It’s also one where the field of people truly passionate about it is endless and oversaturated; aside from being the kind of hobby that would easily devour your entire life. Current AIs do make things easier, but it’s still something where I feel that, to make a playable demo, I’d have to lock myself in a room for three months - which my wife and child might slightly object to. Still, I do get ideas every once in a while, and maybe someone can steal them for their own games. Or maybe I will come back to them once I’m retired 1[1]. So, I guess I’ll occasionally blog about them. First design idea: Competing Priors The idea would be that as a game mechanic, you can buy, equip and upgrade various UI and infobox elements. Which can also lie to you and contradict each other. You’d start out only being able to tell when an enemy is losing health by what it looks like - but if you find the Relic of Status Goggles, a lifebar shows up! A relic from a competing system might show the amount of health in a different way - or the first relic might periodically lie to you and inflate the health of certain monsters instead of others. Updating the relic might show you lifebars of enemies in the darkness, or what they’re vulnerable too - or maybe it’d tell you how the relic is lying to you. Does it always inflate lizardman HP by 150% because it likes them? When you click on an interactable element, you’d get several infoboxes in different styles - each one telling you something different. The challenge would be in figuring out which “goggles” are closer to the truth, and in general figuring out what’s true or not would be the main allure of the game. I worry that it might be the kind of game you can only ever play once - but several games like that already exist. Also, it might be possible to generate relics and gui effects randomly. Man, now I really want to try my hand at this. This image unexpectedly slaps and shows what I mean quite well. Also, it’s kinda funny how obvious I prompted it with “isekai” as part of the prompt. Subscribe now 1 I’m joking of course. No Italian person my age will ever be able to see retirement. via https://ift.tt/HWOcSQ1

I hope it comes as no surprise that I’m in favour of people being able to express whatever they feel their gender is however they want. Nevertheless, it’s useful to restate again what should be obvious things. I’m going to first explain my primary motivation, then brutally knock down arguments I’ve seen and my own thoughts. So, my primary motivation is that I want to be a fucking cyborg. I *am* a fucking cyborg, under some definitions!! (Or at least, I’ve modified my own body to be in line with what I want - thank you Lasik, thank you deviated septum surgery!) I believe our own biology can, should, and must be at our own mercy! Human capabilities are an engineering problem, and (in my own opinion) there is nothing inherently sacred about our own bodies! All they are are vehicles for our consciousness! I’m in favour of fake tits so I can have laser cannons for elbows! Fuck yeah and you’re an idiot if you think otherwise! *** Of course, this point of view is somewhat anathema to some very common objections. Natural is (‘nt always) better. It frustrates me to no end that this is an objection that is actually taken seriously by people. But a common refrain in the mouth of people is “it’s unnatural, and that’s why they shouldn’t do it”. Bitch you know what’s natural? Cancer! Natural is dying in childbirth because of an easily preventable birth defect. Natural is seeing all your children dying by smallpox, having a face only a monster could love because of cleft lip/cleft palate, which is now easily fixed by plastic surgery! Maybe it’s because I was born nearsighted, but…wearing glasses has made me acutely aware I would’ve been essentially blind in a hunter/gatherer band. I really, really, really don’t get this kind of argument They’re only doing it for attention!!1! (ok, and…?) This is another argument which leaves me more bewildered than anything. People disparage and hate trans people because they say they’re only “doing it for attention” and…ok? What? This is absurd to me on two levels, actually. You say that they’re only choosing to be hated and ostracized by a big segment of the population, they’re choosing to live a life in which they’re always low-key in danger, they’re limiting where they can travel (fun fact! In tons of countries it’s illegal to *be* trans! Oh wait, that’s not fun!)...and you see this as something that irritates you and makes you hate them? Do you…see this as an insufficient price to pay? Do you…do you not think everyone is happy to be noticed/paid attention to? I wonder if this is a kind of conservative brainrot where only people higher up in the social hierarchy should command attention - something like punishing children when they’re rowdy for the same reason (which is also insane?) Yeah I don’t get this objection. The religious argument AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA *wheeze* AAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH FUCK YOUR INVISIBLE SKY DADDY More seriously and formally - you do realize not everyone follows the same religion as you, that modern society is based on the separation of church and state? And that’s pretty much it. Honestly, this blog post is more of a venting session than anything, but wow did it feel satisfying to write. image is unrelated Subscribe now via https://ift.tt/nyAoYRN