#freespirit.interactions.rowan

Mahina pulled Rowan into the couch with her after dancing to the bride singing her karaoke. Her laughter loud as she laid her head back and tried to catch her breath. "I've missed this." She smiled at Rowan, "I've missed having fun like this. Are you having fun?"

The first person Mahina saw when she came back to spread the news of what her and Clarae had just witnessed was Rowan. ​The tears welled up in her eyes and she couldn’t voice what she had come to announce. Even though she knew Rowan could tell something was deeply wrong and could probably hear her thoughts all Mahina could think about was how she could have done more. 

Her throat was tight as she stood there with more faces gathering around to stair at her and the blonde and she wanted to shrink into the ground and never come back. Big tears streamed down her face as her stayed on Rowan, I could have done more. I could have tried harder. She thought standing there frozen, but I was a coward. 

It wasn’t until the panic of the crowd started that she could even make her way over to the Queen of Southland. Her eye contact dropping to less with every step. Rowan could hear her, but she couldn’t hear Rowan. What if she reprimanded her? Or called her out on her thoughts confirming what Mahina already felt like, a coward. “I..” her jaw trembled and her head stayed bowed, her curls hiding her eyes, “I could have helped them. I could have saved them.” 

She had been pointed in the direction to find Rowan. Noah's hand in hers as they trekked through the sand. It was too cold to swim but even the beach in Fall was gorgeous and fun. She saw the queen and her little girl and smiled as they played in the sand. "Rowan!" She shouted waving her hand at the other and dropping it as they got closer. "Hey little Scarlett." She smiled before meeting her friend's gaze, "I asked to see you and they said you were here." She said with a tight lip smile. Of all the people Rowan was the one she felt she had let down the most. They were supposed to be friends, their kids were supposed to be best friends. Yet here they were standing as strangers nearly. "Another baby," she smiled pointing to Rowan's stomach, "I bet Scarlett is really excited."

She gulped down the lump in her throat and scratched at the back of her head, partially missing her curls to hide the nerves she was feeling. "Do you wanna walk and talk? These two could play." She smiled, "I.. I don't even know where to start really. Other than this is my son, Noah." Her fingers picked at the sand in his curls before she could bring herself to look back up at Rowan.

"I'm sorry," she said the minute the two children's attention were on each other. "I secluded myself from everyone I care about and I have no justification for it at all. I don't even know why I did it other than just wanting to be the best mom I could be. I thought that meant spending all the time I possibly could just me and Noah. I.. I never wanted him to feel alone but I know my choices only made that more true." She pointed at the two just a few feet ahead spotting a seashell and trying to figure out the best way to grab it up. "This should have been what he was doing. This should have been where I was whenever I got the chance, like I used to do." She shook her head, "I know me realizing this fixes nothing but I want to try. However I can, but I also understand if we can't fix this. I would be heartbroken if I didn't at least try."