#fray.

But it weighed on me. Our situation was perilous, precarious, and A’kihiko had asked me specifically not to start any fights. I was offended, but knew he had warned me aware that I would be the one most likely to do so. Especially after seeing the state of the Brume.

Still, this did not exclude me from our missions. Together, we began to tackle the complicated matters of the Holy See. But if Tataru and Alphinaud’s temporary arrest was any indication of the corruption here, it was clear that we really really needed to be careful. It was because of my win as Tataru’s champion in the ensuing Trial by Combat that I was asked to lay low a bit, again, and I did as I was told.

This was when I met Fray. Sort of.

I had overheard someone fretting, knickers in a twist about some heretic being slain by Temple Knights, body dropped in the Brume. I had been tired of sitting in time out; I wanted to do something more helpful than just kill things. I wanted – I wanted to be able to bring information back.

When I found the corpse, something caught my eye. A stone. Again, seeking a clue, I reached out to it – and — 

And I woke up on the steps, with that corpse I had been examining now looming over me. It was strange; the whispers earlier had been about a man’s body, but this one – Fray – was clearly a woman. Or rather, she sounded like a woman. It didn’t matter and I wasn’t about to rudely ask, though, and as I tried to clear my head, a scream erupted from deep within the Brume.

I investigated, as did Fray, and it turned out that Temple Knights had stolen a young girl who had defied them in her grandmother’s defense. The implications of her fate made me sick, but when Fray bid I go after them, I hesitated. I wasn’t supposed to start anything.

But the girl needed help.

But what if I got us kicked out of Ishgard?

Fray grew frustrated with my hesitation and offered me a spare armor set that would cover up my identity. I was curious as to why and how she had that on hand, but there wasn’t time. I accepted it, and changed into the armor – heavier than I anticipated, but it was her own. As we ran to catch up with them, Fray handed me her blade; I tried to protest that this wouldn’t suit my style, but she insisted that it was what I needed.

And somehow, some way – I knew she was right. We rescued the girl, but with my face hidden by the full coverage helm I had borrowed, my ensured anonymity lent to my vicious nature. I tore through them, which was especially easy with a sword that size, and…soon  there was no one left but us. Us and the girl, who thanked us desperately before heading back.

It was here that Fray proposed they teach me the path of the so-called Dark Knight. Honestly, the title made me snort-laugh – so dramatic. I declined, and returned her armor and sword. I didn’t need them, and I certainly shouldn’t have been doing things…like this.

But even then, I knew I’d return. And so did Fray.

-

I had gone back and forth between the Brume and House Fortemps for Scion business several times after that, but I didn’t see Fray again. I assumed she must have moved on, even though I knew deep down that that wasn’t the case.

It was shortly after the Sultana had been “revived” and restored to power. I remember because of how angry I was. No one was satisfied with the fact that Lolorito remained where he was, upholding the status quo – but it was better than Adeledji’s plan to actually kill the Sultana. Just – it didn’t feel right to me. I still wanted to break his godsdamned neck for giving us so much grief, for chasing us out, for forcing the others to endanger themselves –!!!

I had found that lady-in-waiting first, you know. I found her before A’kihiko and Alphinaud and even Yugiri. She tried to play dumb, but I didn’t allow it. I picked her up by her throat and something inside urged me to squeeze. And so I did. I did and I felt her brittle windpipe begin to constrict beneath my bare hands, watched as she gasped and clawed for air …

And then the others came in and I dropped her, muttering that she had tried to get away. Whether they believed me or not (I doubt they did) didn’t matter, because Raubahn arrived shortly after to interrogate her proper. And I sank back into the background, as always. As was my role.

But something gnawed at me inside, and it had been building momentum since Ysayle had told the true history of Nidhogg’s wrath. I knew very well it could all be a lie, but something about it rang true to me (despite how Estinien raged in offense). More importantly, it was after that tale had been told that I began to feel strange.

If not for A’kihiko’s sudden stagger, perhaps Alphinaud and Estinien would have noticed that I, too, had been hit with a wave of – of something. That when my vision cleared, I could see six crystals spread out around my brother, translucent yet vibrant in the snow. Light spilled forth from him, and one crystal in the path of its radiance lit up bright and blue. I didn’t know what I was seeing, so I had ignored it. Perhaps, I later reasoned, it was a side effect from being around him whenever he had these… visions.

But as soon it as it had appeared, it was gone. A’kihiko was moving on, as was the rest of us. We returned and didn’t speak on the matter.

Then it happened again. As we defeated Tioman and ascended to the Churning Mists. Again, a vision of crystals, surrounding my brother, restoring one’s golden earthy light. I knew I should have asked him about it, especially seeing as how I seemed to be the only one who noticed, but again – I did not.

It was fear, but I don’t know of what. There was already too much on everyone’s minds.

But it was these emotions that sent me back to the Brume, looking for Fray. And this time I found her.

“I had a feeling you’d come by tonight.” I tried to apologize, but she silenced me with a look. “What are you blubbering for? I don’t want to hear that. You have questions, don’t you? Speak those, and naught else!”

I was intimidated yet again. I didn’t want to bore her with unrelated things about crystals and light, especially if it was related to private Scion matters. So instead, I explained about the voice I had heard – no, felt when I confronted the Lady-in-waiting. I kept the details vague, of course, but Fray didn’t seem bothered by it.

She went on to explain that the voice was difficult to describe; a beacon guiding the dark knight to her true calling. Again, I tried to argue that I had no intention of becoming a Dark Knight, but she said that I would have to walk the path if I wanted to discover the source of that voice. In any other situation, I would have walked away, but…I did not.

I did not commit, but I said I was willing to learn more. She seemed satisfied with that, if not still a bit offended, and bid we travel to Little Ala Mihgo to perform a communion. It still sounded silly and dramatic (and heretic-like) to me, but I did as she beckoned.

She needed me to kill something for her. It was a simple task, and yet the way she said it made my heart pound. Maybe it was the whole ritual thing. Regardless, I was directed to speak with a previous acquaintance – Gundobald. I remembered him vaguely, and he… remembered my brother. Just my brother. But he couldn’t forget a pair of rabbit ears and knew I was his sister.

“Her name is Meiko,” Fray intoned sharply. “Meiko Mochikoko. More than just the damned Warrior of Light’s sister. Remember it well.”

Her defense caught me off-guard. I didn’t expect that from her at all; in fact, I was pretty sure she didn’t even really like me. In my daze she took control of the conversation, and needled out the information we needed. Peistes were being pests, and we would be welcome to slay more than a few. Gundobald provided us with the bait, which Fray shoved into my arms in passing.

“Don’t stand there bloody gooey-eyed like a lovesick child,” she scolded. “I shouldn’t have to demand respect for you.”

“R–Right.” Now I was embarrassed again, but I managed to swallow my desire to apologize. All we had to do was set the bait now. Or, rather, that was all I had to do. Fray stood apart while I tried to spread out the aldgoat carcass in an appealing (?) manner.

“I know you have your reasons for not wanting to stir trouble in Ishghard,” she continued. “But you don’t have to worry about that here, right?”

“Right,” I repeated, and stood back to observe my bloody handiwork. “All right. I think this should attract at least one of them.”

“Let’s hope for more than one.” Fray moved beside me, offering her greatsword once again. “I can tell you really need to let loose.”

I looked at the weapon and frowned, “I need to be quick if I’m takin’ on multiple enemies. That’ll slow me down, I don’t–”

“This is the weapon of a Dark Knight,” Fray barked, and shoved it into my hands again. “You don’t need to be quick. You just need to swing and cause as much damage as possible. Don’t whine, it’s not as if you lack the strength to lift it. You started with your father’s axe, didn’t you?”

At the time, I didn’t realize that Fray had commented on something she couldn’t have known. She bullied me into forsaking my chakrams again, and I accepted the heavy great sword with some reluctance.

As I predicted, my lack of experience with the weapon showed when the beasts were lured by the scent of fresh meat. But although I was knocked aside, Fray didn’t let me fall; she healed me, albeit from a distance, and I powered through. Once I built up the momentum of my swings, there was actually a rhythm to it; maybe it was just my dancer tendencies bleeding across melee styles, but once I figured out the balance, it felt so much easier.

And I slaughtered them. I slaughtered every peiste in the area – and also all the other beasts, too. When I was finally spent, I collapsed, covered in a mess of blood and sinew that was not my own. Fray helped me stand, or tried to. I just looked up at her, adrenaline pumping through my veins – and wholly satisfied. I didn’t hold anything back, didn’t worry about how others might perceive me or those associated with me. I was the daughter of pirates, vicious and violent and free and it felt bloody great.

“…You sure you don’t fancy me?” Fray tsked. “You keep looking at me like–”

I shoved her over.

A little while later, we stood face-to-face, and she commended me for my efforts. The communion ritual that I had killed so much for was simple. Almost laughably so. Much like I did with aetheryte crystals, I had to try and attune myself to her. So I closed my eyes and followed her instructions, slowing my breathing, trying to hear that voice again…

It was almost like falling asleep. The voice echoed in the back of my head, then slowly moved to the front. It spoke in a chant of moving forward, onward and endlessly – and then it was gone.

Fray said that it was progress, but not very helpful. That she would see me back in Ishgard when I was ready to chase the voice once more. Then she was gone, and … I couldn’t remember whether or not she had teleported then and there. But it didn’t matter. I still had to finish this quest.

When I returned to Little Ala Mihgo, my clothes had been stained so deeply that Gundobald paled when I first appeared. It was kind of disappointing. After all, he had asked me to cull their beasts. Was this not the look of a successful hunt? It didn’t bother me too much. With that task done, I headed back to Ul’dah – to clean up – and then returned to Ishgard.

I would seek her out again soon.

-

I left House Fortemps and went straight to the Brume. I didn’t even tell anyone where I was going. I didn’t even care.

I just had to leave Ishgard.

“Fray,” I found her where she always was. Was it wrong to use her as a distraction? Probably. But I knew Fray wouldn’t care if it meant progress. “What do I have to do next? I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s away from here. Please.”

The Dark Knight turned towards me, and I could see pity reflected in her eyes. I figured she must have heard what happened, but looking back, that didn’t make any sense. How could she have known what had transpired at the Vault this quickly?

But again – I didn’t care. I couldn’t think about it. This dark knight stuff thrived on pain, right? Well gods be damned, I was full of it. Pain and anger and frustration – it filled me up so much that I couldn’t breathe.

“Let’s return to Thanalan,” she said finally. “The Burning Wall.”

When I arrived at our destination, I took the great sword she offered me without another word. I didn’t even pause to listen for instructions. Again, like before, I tore through everything in my wake. I couldn’t stop. It was only when fatigue overpowered the adrenaline rush that I slid to the ground. Fray approached.

“Meiko.”

“I can keep goin’ – “ I waved Fray off. “I can –”

“You’ve already done it. More than enough. Again.” She settled down on the ground beside me. “And you don’t have to blame yourself for this. You know who to blame.”

Who to blame? Of course I did. The damned Heavensward, the Archbishop, the Ascians could be tossed in there for good measure, too! It was all their fault – so why, why did I feel responsible? Was it because I had watched the light fade from his eyes?

Outwardly, I didn’t respond. My chest hurt too much and now my head was spinning. I wanted to scream and thrash and just – just keep swinging this stupid oversized sword until there was nothing left but red. But I also wanted to close my eyes and sleep. Forever.

I put my head in my hands.

“It hurts. Everything hurts.”

“I know. But you need to get used to it. Whether you embrace the path of the Dark Knight or not, this road you set yourself on will be wrought with pain and death and naught else.“ She spoke the truth, but it didn’t make me feel any better. 

I knew that wasn’t her goal, though.

"But really – better him than you. Right?”

I looked up slowly. “What?”

“Better Haurchefant be the one that took that lethal blow for A'kihiko. If you had jumped in, unshielded, you both would have died. It was an unfortunate sacrifice, but a good one.”

“Wh–” I was so  enraged, I couldn’t even complete a coherent thought. I could only stare at her, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. Words could barely form: “How – how dare you–" 

"You know it’s the truth. The truth of how you feel.” Fray tilted her head. “There’s nothing shameful about self-preservation, Meiko. You need–”

“Shut your bloody–!!!’ I finally moved to grab her, but Fray was already up and walking away.

"Let’s head to Camp Drybone. Well do the next communion there.”

I was seething, reeling as though I had been socked in th gut. How – How could she just spit such sewage so nonchalantly?! She didn’t know Haurchefant! She didn’t – she didn’t know anything!

….Except for me. She knew me, and that was the only thing that kept me from telling her to fuck off. My feelings were not quite so cold, and I would have given anything for Haurchefant to still be alive.

But I was glad…that I had survived.

–

We hadn’t even made it to Drybone when we caught sight of a panicked man running for his life. I knew Fray wanted to reach the settlement as soon as possible – so I stopped to assist him. I could feel her irritated gaze on my back as he explained his narrow escape from Amalj'aa. He had been among several pilgrims who… ah, it didn’t matter. I agreed to help, as always. I wanted to help! I did! But even I couldn’t help but wonder why people would still go unarmed into Amalj'aa territory.

“You’re the one that stopped to listen,” Fray reminded me, mocking my visible discontent as we headed in that direction. “It would do you well not to forget that there is an infinite supply of victims in this world, Meiko. Infinite. We cannot always be there to save them all.”

I didn’t want a lecture from Fray. She spoke common sense as though it were a revelation. Instead I muttered, “Let’s just focus on killin’, all right?” And that earned a laugh from her.

I had been outraged at her before, but…it felt like we were back on good terms. Well, I was still a bit mad at her – but we couldn’t bicker going into battle like this. Even if it was a battle easily won.

We freed the prisoners. It wasn’t anything special. Nobody but the Amalj'aa died, and when we were through, they pleaded with me to escort them to Camp Drybone. Fray, tired of the babysitting, elected to stay behind. She would meet with me when I finished, and so I agreed.

My clothes had been soaked thoroughly with blood yet again. I didn’t even really notice this time until I stepped into Drybone and realized more people were staring than usual. I didn’t have the energy to rent out an inn room to wash; I just found a public fountain to sit at, and dipped my hands into the water to scrub my limbs and face clean.

And it was then that I heard the whispers. They weren’t bad whispers, just stories. 

Stories of my brother.

I tried not to pay too much attention to what was said; a lot of it was exaggerated anyway. But I couldn’t help but catch a few phrases, a few words – praising him, and him alone, for accomplishments that we had achieved together. Side-by-side! Then again, why was I so surprised? I did this on purpose. I sank into the background because that was my place. I didn’t want the responsibility of being well-known. So, why did hearing all of it make me feel so sick inside? Why was I so angry?

I thought about Ishgard. I thought about how we had fought against Nidhogg in the Aery together. That had been terrifying and difficult and … and the only ones names would surface at the end of day would be my brother’s and Estinien’s. The Warrior of Light and the Azure Dragoon. Although, perhaps not even the Dragoon’s, depending on whether or not we could–

“Meiko.”

I looked up from the edge of the fountain. Fray must have gotten impatient.

“We’re not done yet.”

“What?”

“I’ve decided. We’ve one more stop before we complete your communion. But this will be the last one,” she nodded down at me. “You’re close to hearing the voice, clear as day. I can feel it.”

I shut my eyes and sighed. I should have been getting back to Ishgard by now. They’d be wondering where I’d gone. But…I just wasn’t ready yet.

“All right. Where next?”

-

Fray had bid I meet her at Moraby Drydocks. I wasn’t sure if taking me to La Noscea had been intended as a kindness or not, but it was. I missed home. I always missed home.

Unfortunately, we could barely speak of the requirements of the next communion before I was approached. This time, however, it was by a fellow member of the Maelstrom. She knew me, and so I felt obligated to assist. A merchant was having a fit over stolen goods, and I agreed to retrieve them.

Fray was irritated, I knew, but she only grumbled a little. We went to the designated location and, as I had before, slaughtered the beasts so that I could complete my goal. Wielding the greatsword was like second nature now, and after yet another satisfying bloodbath, we returned with the goods.

But the client wasn’t satisfied. He opened his box of items and gasped in horror at the status of the items inside. For a moment, I was dumbfounded as he shouted at me, demanding recompense. Honestly, was this a joke? I looked to the woman who had asked me for help, and she wore the same expression. She wasn’t going to step in and calm him down. She…wasn’t going to do anything to defend me.

I shouldn’t have to demand respect for you.

Fray was right. Of course Fray was right. Frays was always fucking right! Always!

“You have a lot of swivin’ nerve to speak that way to me,” I seized the man – less than a man – by his collar and picked him up. The Maelstrom woman let out a panicked gasp behind me, but of course she did nothing. What a fucking surprise. “I risk my life and limb for you – for so many ungrateful little bastards like you, who can barely wipe their arse without demandin’ aid from the bloody Scions! I did what you asked of me, you entitled shite!”

Of course, now he had changed his tune. Now he was a whimpering, teary-eyed mess! Ha! Good. If that was what it took to gain respect, then so be it. He pleaded and apologized and begged for mercy.

I threw him off the pier. Then I kicked the crate of goods he’d claimed were ruined in after him.

“M-Mochikoko!” Finally the Maelstrom woman spoke up. She stared at me, visibly shocked – “I-I know he was bein’ a bastard, but that was goin’ too far!”

“Then fish him out and do your godsdamned job yourself,” I snapped. No, I would not be shamed for losing my temper. I would not take this back! I would not!

I left Moraby Drydocks. Fray was already outside.

“You did the right thing,” she confirmed. Pleased. Of course she was pleased, she was a proper arsehole. “He deserved that, and so did that spineless bitch. They’ll think twice before shoving their responsibilities off onto others, for sure.”

“Shall we do the communion?” I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I ignored her comments. I…didn’t know how I felt about them. About all of this. But I did know that I wanted to hear that voice again. Maybe it would give me an idea of what the fuck I should be doing.

Fray accepted this. “Yes. Hold out your hand, just as before.”

Just before. Just like before, I shut my eyes and concentrated. Just like before, it was like falling asleep. Comforting, cradling in that darkness. And this time, the words were clearer:

Serve. Save. Slave. Slay.

The words reverberated in my very bones and I could feel my throat start to close up. I could feel it – I could feel the contempt and disgust and the frustration I felt just minutes ago, not just for the selfish merchant, but for everyone. For everyone around me.

Serve without question, the people of Eorzea.

Save the realm in the name of Hydaelyn, or the Light, or whatever it was we were fighting for.

Slave away beneath the expectations and the dreams and lives of those depending on you.

Slay everything in your path, because at the end of the day, you are not more than a glorified weapon.  A tool for others’ happiness.

But I knew that already, didn’t I?

When I regained my consciousness, I didn’t know where I was. It was still La Noscea, but the sun had set, and we were in the middle of nowhere. We. Fray was there, looming over me as she had when we had first met. But something had shifted in her and dread pitted in my stomach.

“Fray,” I started slowly, pushing myself to sit up.. “You should have woke me earlier. I need to get back to –”

“To Coerthas?” She finished sharply. “Why, Meiko? Why go back at all?”

“What do you mean why go back at all?” I frowned up at her. “I have things to do! Ser Aymeric needs–”

“None of that is your responsibility, Meiko. Perhaps it is your brother’s, but that was the path he chose. You didn’t choose this. You don’t need any of what you’ve been living for the past two years,” She gestured to something out in the distance. “Don’t you want to go home?”

“What?” I looked in the direction she had gestured, and indeed, the outline of Wadewick Landing could be seen not too far. But I shook my head and pushed myself to stand. “What are you goin’ on about!? I have responsibilities! I can’t just ditch my brother and the –”

“Why not? Haven’t you done enough?” Fray demanded. “Haven’t we suffered enough, Meiko? How many more friends do we need to see fall? How many more times do we need to see Hiko risk his life? Do you really want to be there when he inevitably–”

I didn’t let her finish that godsdamned sentence. I tackled her to the floor, but after a roll, she tossed me off.

“Stop spoutin’ that shite!” I hissed, scrambling to my feet. “Even if I wasn’t what I planned to be doin’ with my life right now, it’s the path I’m on! Isn’t that like the Dark Knight garbage you’ve been blabberin’ on about?! Isn’t that–”

“I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!”

Fray’s voice had changed. Or, maybe it didn’t. But suddenly I was met by what sounded like –

Me. Fray no longer stood there, but a reflection of myself, swaddled in darkness. Desperate, tear-stained, bruised – like she had been fighting everyone and everything all the time.

And suddenly everything made sense.

“I can’t do this.” She stood there, shaking her head. “I’m tired of curlin’ up in Hiko’s shadow, tryin’ to make myself smaller for everyone’s convenience. M’tired of bein’ used and given’ everythin’ I could possibly think of, bleedin’ myself dry for a world that can’t give less of a godsdamned fuck about who I am!”

Our greatsword now materialized in her hands, and as it did, armor black as pitch began to spread across her skin, cloaking her in complete shadow.

“I will not stay silent anymore. I will be heard. And when I’m done with you,” Her expression twisted into something akin to madness just as the armor enclosed her head in a pointed helm. “I’ll be in complete control.”

–

Considering that it is me writing these memoirs, it should be no surprise that I managed to defeat…well, myself. I can’t tell you quite what happened, but if anyone had ever questioned whether or not chakrams could overpower greatswords, the answer is definitely no. Not alone, at least. Stubbornness and a refusal to roll over and die played a very strong part in my victory.

That and spite.

If I am being honest – and I am, or at least I am trying to as I write this – I was disappointed to learn that Fray was some sort of mix between spirit haunting the Crystal I had picked up off his course, and an amalgamation of my own darkest desires. Desires that I had to come to accept, or at least subdue, upon defeating my mirror counterpart.

In all honesty, I had come to think of Fray as a friend. Someone who understood me without really having to ask. Someone who didn’t judge me for thriving in violence or being rough ‘round the edges. But that’s too much to hope for, isn’t it?

In the end, I accepted Fray. I accepted myself, and the darkness that would live within me forever as a result of the choices I have made. But that didn’t mean that I was ready to throw everything away solely for my own benefit. Fray accepted that after I defeated them.

“If this is how it must be, then so be it. But know that when you tire of this charade, I shall be here, waiting to take the reins. You need only ask.”

Ask. I would not like to know the situation in which I would ask for Fray to speak or act for me, but I also can’t completely dismiss the possibility of such a thing happening. Maybe one day.

For now, I had to return to Ishgard. To support my brother. To mourn Haurchefant. To end the Dragonsong War, whether my name be sung too or not. That was the path I chose.

-

It wasn’t the first time I had been ambushed, and certainly wouldn’t be the last. Considering what had happened with Ser Aymeric, however, I had expected it to be too good to be true. Each of us had split up to try and discern who had been starting trouble in Ishgard – from the assasination attempt, to the fires being set all over the city. A temple knight had approached me, stating he wanted to speak with me privately in the Behemoth’s Dominion about who was behind everything.

I suppose I could have invited others along with me, but I didn’t want to draw them away from their own investigations. I prepared for myself for the worst case scenario – and was promptly met with it. After I had killed his lackeys, he stood strong in defiance, declaring… whatever bullshit he felt about Aymeric and his supporters. It was at this point that I paused to consider what was the best choice of action. I needed him alive, didn’t I? But would he even bother to tell me anything?

– And the man was still raving: “We’ll fight you forever! Even if it costs us our lives!”

“Shall we oblige him then?” Another voice spoke, and I turned to see who it was.

I will admit that I stared at first. I had not seen an Au Ra before – at least, not a male one. But being a rare sight myself, I tried to shake it off quickly. More than anything, upon seeing this man, I knew, innately: he was a Dark Knight.  Another one.

“Well?” he prompted. “Are you going to kill him, or shall I?”

“Uh.” I probably should have expected that question. “Was thinkin’ of takin’ him in for interrogation, actually.”

But beside us, the temple knight gasped and pointed. “You–you’re one of them! Heretic! Dravanian!”

I looked at him. “Well, now you’re just bein’ rude.” And sort of leaning me in the direction of just outright getting rid of him. “And wrong, to boot. There any chance of me gettin’ a word out of you at all?”

“Never! I’ll sooner die!” he declared, defiant – although he had started to back up.

“Well.” I looked to the ‘Dravanian’, then shrugged. Something in my heart seemed to sing with excitement as I turned and thrust one ring blade into his chest. The chain mail was hard when it came to slashing, but piercing weapons – or motions did nicely; and these chakrams just happened to have nice pointy arrows on its ends. 

Once the body had dropped to the ground, so did I, and started to rifle through his belongings for clues. As I did, the Au Ra said, “I pray you do not make a habit of following men plotting to kill you into secluded areas.”

“Well, I never say never.” I started to pull things out of the man’s belt, but there was nothing of value. With a sigh, I stood up and looked at him again. He seemed somewhat amused. Maybe. It was hard to tell with that stoic expression of his.

“Did you learn nothing from Fray?” he asked finally.

Ah. So that confirmed it – although, I wasn’t sure what it was.

“I learned plenty from him.” Or what was left of him? I still wasn’t completely sure what Fray was. “You a friend or a sworn enemy?”

A friend.

“We trained together,” came the noncommittal answer. “But I had heard he had fallen at a trial. Then, a woman with rabbit ears was seen wielding his sword.” His gaze drifted to my chakrams. “You do not fit that description perfectly, and yet I can tell you, too, walk the path.” Eyes moved back to mine. “Tell me. What became of him? How did you learn the arts?”

“… Uh.” I hesitated. This wasn’t really an appropriate way to deliver the death of one’s comrade, but I had a feeling he might already have guessed it. I told him an abridged version of what I could – how I had found Fray’s body, the Soul Crystal he’d held, and how he had sort of found a home in my mind, more or less. I half expected him to look at me like I was a lunatic, but his expression merely portrayed surprise.

“By the gods,” he muttered when I was done. But then he shook his head, “Though, now that I think on it, ‘tis not the first time I have heard such a tale.”

“It isn’t?” I folded my arms. “Would love to know what tales you’re hearin’, friend.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he said, “We who consort with the darkness are never truly whole. There will ever be a part of us yearning to be free.”

“…Is that what you think the Fray I know is?” Never truly whole. It was impossible for me not to think of the Warriors of Darkness now, but I had to put it out of my mind. One group of dark-themed combatants at a time, Mei. 

“It is possible,” he confessed. “As I said, Fray and I trained together. His was a strength that was beyond reckoning. But alas, it was not enough. That being said, it warms my heart to see that you carry on his legacy. Even if you do not wield the traditional weapon of a Dark Knight, it is clear you have learned much with only his soul crystal as your guide.”

Ah, yes. It was time to return to this.

“I wouldn’t give myself that much credit,” I shook my head. “But… I do try and take his teachings to heart.” Or at least recognize them when I have to set them aside. “I have a lot on my plate, though. So sometimes he gets mad when I ignore him.” 

I couldn’t help but tease and grin; perhaps it was Fray’s lingering feelings, but I felt comfortable enough to do so.

I was right, though. The Au Ra let out at least a snort of a surprised laugh, albeit a short one. “Yes, that sounds like him. In any case, whether you consider yourself creditable or no, there is a matter I would discuss with you – but not here.” He turned away. “My name is Sidurgu. Pray look for me in the Forgotten Knight at Ishgard, miss…?”

“Meiko,” I supplied. “And I’ll be sure to do so. Just,” gestured to the body of the temple knight I had slain. “Need to clean up here first.”

“Understandable. Until we meet again, then.” And off he went.

I watched him leave, pondering the interaction and reviewing it in my mind. It was an unexpected encounter, but I didn’t dislike it. And although I did have so much to worry about – so much – I did want to see him again.

My. So any Dark Knight will do, is that it? Fray’s voice knocked at the door to my mind, mocking.

Excuse me?!

I mean, that just seems to be the type you stare after for a bit too long.