I hate you so much. I hate you so fucking much I donât think youâll ever understand how much I hate you. You piece of fucking shit. I lost almost fourteen years of my life to your fucking bullshit. I canât fucking stand you. I never fucking could. But no matter how much I fucking hate you, youâre my best friend. I guess it makes sense. Keep your friend closer and your enemies fucking closer. You know, I never really understood what I was to you. I was a nuisance who just kept showing up, I stole the person you love, I fucked you so many times, I slept over, I cuddled, you bought me things when I needed them, you kept in touch when I didnât want anyone else to. Everything was you.
               And yet, this still isnât your fucking fault so donât you fucking do anything stupid you piece of shit. You have Ren to look after, because the most torn up person---Sita, you, Chris and Ren---is going to be Ren. Ren is the one, for both of us, the one who was everything, and the one who kept us together even when he wasnât here. Ren is the one person that I actually care about leaving like burning. As much as I love Sita, as much as I consider her my wife, Sitaâs strong enough without me. As strong as I know Ren is, this will kill him as much as it literally kills me. Haha. I hope that you to get married. I hope you have kids. I hope you donât name them after me. And I hope you survive. Iâve been messed up in the head for too long, I was bored messed up and I donât think I can stay messed up anymore.
               Still, you were always there when I needed you. As much as you hated me. As much as I pretended to hate you. You are a part of me. This isnât where I confess my fucking love to you or anything you piece of shit. Because as desperate as I was to cling on to you, it was because I didnât want to lose another person I cared about. But you donât feel my heart. You donât understand it, because I got so good at hiding it. I got good at tricking myself. And I thought being in love with you would keep you with me. But, it obviously didnât because I got tossed aside. This is me tossing you aside. Iâm throwing you away and youâll never get me back. I hope youâre finally happy. You know, without me. With Ren. There are so many things I want to tell you, but Iâm not going to bother, because just like all of my preaching its going on deaf ears.
Or maybe youâd finally want to hear it in my suicide note. Every fucking word you ignored finally being the last ones youâll ever hear. Or, well, read. I hope you forget my voice. My eyes. The way I made you feel in bed. I hope you forget my feelings, my life. I hope you forget me. Iâd rather not be remembered by someone I couldnât stand in the living. But I guess youâd have to. The one person I want to never forget me is your boyfriend. The one person who means the world to me, who never casted me aside is the person who loves you. And Iâm happy, because I fucking told you, Ren loves you, you fucking dumbass. But, then again. Who knows. You might have given up after the first paragraph. Â Or maybe Renâs crying reading his letter and you go curious about yours. Maybe youâll keep this letter forever to remember me. Maybe youâll burn it right away; maybe you donât even care at all. But I thought I owed it to Ren. Because someone needs to know. I did this because Iâm done. I didnât do this because of anyone but me and I feel like youâre the only person whoâd understand that. As much as you hate me, youâre the one who gets me.
               So, good bye my friend. Take care.
               I want you to take my stuff and donate whatever to charity
               Let anyone who wants to keep anything keep it.
               Send my leather jacket back to Parker in New Orleans, you remember him right?
               Tell Ren I loved him every day whenever he starts breaking down
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fraudulentwings replied to your post:[ Shoves some apology gift and note at before storming off. ]
"âŚMaybe."
Perfectly impassive face slips on, from years of practice. "Hmm? Who says I need you to be my friend? I have new friends now." No he was kidding, but he was still upset about being dumped.
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"Youâre really good at thisâŚ" Raphael muttered softly as he clenched the sheets by his side. Calum snorted softly trailing light kisses up his chest and pressing a soft kiss on his lips before stretching as he rolled onto his best friendâs left side.
"I would be considering." Calum mumbled softly as he closed his eyes and let his arm stretch and slap Raphael in the face. Hearing a angry grumble, the angel made a point of jabbing Calum in the side, causing the hybrid to jump at one of his weak points and make a whining sound.
"Youâre ruining it." Raphael muttered as he quietly tried to enjoy the afterglow of sex, but Calum stopped appreciating that a long time ago. Instead he picked up the habit of smoking a cigarette from an ex-lover who he spent too many nights sleeping with but not enough actually acquainting himself with. Then again, most of those witches tended to be more to themselves, it didnât matter the sex was good enough. Although he did quit smoking not to long ago, it didnât work well with his vocal cords and he did enjoy singing still. âI guess being a whore is good for something.â
Again, Calum snorted and made a point of dragging his fingers slowly over the angelâs weak spots, causing the other to shudder and glare. âAt least I get some. You sure you werenât a virgin before we had sex?â Which, again caused the angel to jab Calum, just slightly more painfully. âYouâre a fucking caffler you knowâ he said letting his Irish accent flow out in a low heavy tone. Raphael looked at him and raised an eyebrow before grabbing Calumâs shoulders and rolling on top of him placing rather angry hot kisses from his lips to his navel.
Calum rolled his eyes and bit back a sigh. âI always knew youâd be demanding in bed.â He commented lightly causing Raphael to nip rather harshly at Calumâs hip, causing the taller man to jump lightly. âAnd still an asshole.â
