november: ( calling the raven's phone number, she didn't let him answer before she was talking away on a rant. almost like a last chance to make things right before she couldn't take things any longer. ) "hi, i know i should have come home to talk to you but i don't want to stand there & cry. but i need to be honest with you & i need you to be honest too. i know that you don't want to talk about your feelings, or let your guard down with me & i understand why. you've been mistreated, you never knew how to be honest or how to open up. i know that it scares you & that you don't want to look weak. but i'm never going to judge you for opening up to me & being honest. i know that you care somewhere in there, okay? i know that a part of you doesn't just like me as a friend because i've seen it. all i want you to know is that i love you, that i'll do anything for you & that i want to help you. i want to help you work on being more honest & opening up, if you want to. it's not weak. i happen to find a man opening up about his feelings & saying things how they are one of the most attractive qualities. i won't even tell anyone else; it will be our little secret. all i know, is that i can't take feeling like this much longer, xander. i just want to hear you say it so i know that it's real, because i could be looking into this too much & i could be thinking that it's something that it's not. all i want is a sentence. all i want is a yes or a no. all i want is for you to meet me in the middle & help me, help you. if you don't want to i'll understand.. but i need you to understand that i might have to walk away for awhile, or maybe forever. i don't know yet, but maybe space if things turn bad would do us some good. i just want you to fight for me i guess. i want to know whether i'm dreaming or whether you do want me more than you say you do."