#frank castle coded

Frank x Reader coded

Omg you're too kind. I wish I had something profound to say but I think such a big component was luck and timing.

Remember I'm in my 30s-- and I met him when I was nearly 20 so there really weren't dating apps (there were websites but those were for old people) and almost no one was meeting partners online in my peer group. He and I worked together and word got out about my crush on him and rather than it be awkward, I told him flat-out that it was true and he could do what he wanted with the information lol. Shortly thereafter, we had our first date.

I think my advice would be that despite starting to date at 20, we didn't get married until I was 29. This was important to me because there's still so much of being in idiot that needs to happen in your 20s. I had wild oats to sow and so did he. So it was important for me to live alone and wait and in the process, he matured into the type of man I'd wanna marry.

But regardless of timing specifics, one of the most important factors to me was and still is that he respects me and I respect him beyond a shadow of a doubt. He respects my interests and my feelings and my fears and my goals-- unwaveringly. And that has always been true. And so if you're still dating, trust your gut on whether you feel you're getting the respect you deserve and if he's a guy you can respect in return. In my opinion, you can work through nearly almost anything if you have a foundation of respect and love.

Additionally, my husband is Hispanic and as a minority, there is a certain sensibility he has that allows him to understand my experience as a woman just a little bit better. Plenty of Hispanic men can also be terrible men because of patriarchy but my husband just wasn't raised that way.

Now as far as his Frank-like qualities.... those have blossomed a lot over time-- even just the last few years! And that's a result of communication about our likes and dislikes and he's happy to do things that make me happy. But it was also a big effort on my part to actually stop trying to control everything lol. In some ways I had to let him "be a man" (stereotypical but you know what I'm getting at) and I had to let myself let him take care of things. And then it become a flourishing cycle! He liked doing things for me and I like him doing it! lol