Fran x Female!Hibari!Reader: A Cure for Gelotophobia
Summary:Â "After all, you should have been able to predict that Kyoya and Mukuro would start fighting the minute they laid eyes on one another."
Rating/Tags:Â G (Alternate Universe - Ten Years Later; Party; Dresses; Female Reader-Insert; Reader is Hibari Kyoya's Sister; Public Humiliation; Mild Language; Background Tsuna/Kyoko; Background I-Pin/Lambo)
Word Count:Â 3,806
Challenge: 160 Collective Drabbles
Prompt: Pyramid
Tag List: @imaginesfire
Notes: So just to be absolutely clear: This is set when everyone is ten years older, but it's not set in the original Ten Years Later universe that they all traveled to for the arc. They've all grown up since that point. Clear as mud?
And yes, I did actually write for this prompt years ago. But when I was going through the challenge, I was terribly embarrassed by the resulting one shot. White people going to Egypt and blowing up a pyramid played for laughs?? And then I spent exactly ten seconds researching how one should behave respectfully in Cairo, and I gave the old one shot up as a wash and decided to replace it. I haven't watch Agents of SHIELD in eons anyway.
Many thanks to my real life best friend for helping me come up with a better idea for "pyramid."
Ao3 Version Here
A Cure for Gelotophobia
Different things scared different people. Oh, there were common phobias: fear of heights, fear of spiders, fear of enclosed spaces. You liked to think you stood above such paltry feelings like fear. At your relatively young age, you'd already faced numerous challenges and come out the other with the battle scars to prove your skill. Rarely nowadays did you feel your heartbeat speed or your breath catch inside your lungs. But you felt both at that very moment, though there wasn't a single enemy in sight.
Tsuna and Kyoko's engagement party had only just begun. The ballroom at the Vongola's Japanese headquarters was tastefully decorated for the event. Evening sunshine beamed through the colossal windows looking out on to the thriving garden. Friends and family (and Family) of the couple drifted in and out from all directions, and all of them wore formal garb, the men, suits; the women, colorful gowns. Standing awkwardly by the drink table, you felt entirely out of place.
"What on earth are you wearing?"
The question asked in the familiar deep voice of your older brother, Kyoya Hibari, did not soothe your nerves. You shifted and found yourself unable to meet his gray eyes. Avoiding his face would only upset him, but you simply couldn't manage to lift your gaze. At least you kept your own voice steady when you answered:
"It's a ball gown."
"Is there a reason you've chosen to look so ridiculous?"
Pins and needles sharper than Roll's shot up your arms. Trust Kyoya to speak your fear into existence the moment he saw you. Just looking at yourself in the mirror before coming downstairs, you knewâwell, you knew you didn't look as natural as the likes of Kyoko and Haru and Bianchi looked in their dresses. When your typical black-tie attire consisted of a literal black tie, suit, pants, and dress shirt in your Flame color, of course you stood out like a sore thumb wearing a gown.
"I just thought it would be nice to dress up for the party." You crushed the hem of your skirt in one fist.
"And if something should happen to necessitate moving quickly and precisely?" he asked.
"Kyoya," you groaned. "No one is going to mount an attack on the Tsuna's engagement party, all right? No one!"
"You're certain of that, are you? Hn. Well, if you want to risk getting blood all over your pretty clothes..."
"As if you aren't the goriest fighter here," you muttered, rather than admit he'd made you feel dumber than ever. You'd spent a decent amount of money on this outfit, and some of tonight's guests were sure to misbehave, even if their actions didn't amount to bloodshed. "No one is going to start a fight tonight," you said more firmly, "Hayato would kill them if they so much as thought about it."
"Do you think he'd mind killing Lambo now as opposed to later?" came a new voice to your conversation.
You looked around to spot your good friend I-Pin sauntering up to you and your brother, resplendent in an electric blue and yellow qipao. She offered a respectful bow to Kyoya, who answered with a slight inclining of his head, before she turned to give you a once-over.
"You look great, [Name]!" she said.
Awkwardly, you fingered the neckline of your gown. "I take your comment to mean you and Lambo are currently off."
I-Pin hummed noncommittally. Her surreptitious glance at Kyoya was answer enough. You spied Lambo across the hall, surrounded by the usual hoard of squealing fans, but even from this distance you could see his eyes darting toward I-Pin's back every few seconds. So she hadn't just come over to compliment your appearance, then; this was a strategic position on her part. Whether he'd willingly admit it or not, Kyoya had a soft spot for herâand not an ounce of sympathy for Lambo.
"Anyway," I-Pin said with a wave of her hand, "don't listen to Mr. Hibari. If Lambo tries anything disruptive tonight, I'll kill him myself. You just focus on wooing you-know-who."
You felt rather than saw Kyoya stiffen beside you.
"I-Pin," you hissed between clenched teeth.
She winced. "Sorry. Was that a secret?"
"So that's why you decided to wear something like that," he said.
"Kyoyaâ" you began, but he cut you off.
"I forbade you from speaking to him, did I not?"
Only your brother could make his fury plain with such a cold, emotionless voice. But he had trained you well. You did not quail at his tone. Instead, you looked him straight in the eye and said:
"I can speak with him if I want to speak with him."
"Oh? And how do you plan to defy me when you can't even reach your weapon right now?"
Poor I-Pin could only watch as you and Kyoya sized each other up. Her dark eyes were huge in her face. Probably she knew the same thing that you did: You couldn't take him. Kyoya wasn't called the strongest Vongola Guardian for no reason. But the minute you let on that you knew that would be the minute he won.
"Tsuna says we should be welcoming. If he doesn't care if I talk to him, why should you?" you asked.
"She's right, Mr. Hibari. Mr. Sawada wantsâ"
Kyoya gave I-Pin a look that clearly told her to stay out of his family disputes. Her mouth snapped shut, and she shot you an obvious nonverbal apology. Well, it wasn't her fault your brother was so good at holding grudges.
"Tsuna can 'welcome' whoever he wants," he said. "But youâ
"What happened between you and Mukuro happened ten years ago, and it has nothing to do with me!"
"Kufufu. Speak of the devil, and he will appear."
And there, through a sudden dense mist that surrounded the refreshment table, materialized a tall figure in shadow. The fog rolled away to reveal a familiar man with long blue hair. I-Pin gasped. Mukuro didn't spare her a second glance. As usual, he had eyes only for Kyoya, and Kyoya for him.
"Don't tell me I'm the culprit of another little Hibari family spat. Poor [Name]," Mukuro purred, pulling you against his side. "Is the big, bad Cloud Guardian bullying you again?"
"Let her go," Hibari said in a tone that would have struck terror into the heart of anyone else.
Mukuro just slid his gloved fingers into your painstakingly-crafted hair. "If she wanted me to let her go, she could easily make me herself. Isn't that right, dear little [Name]?"
All you could do was grit your teeth and tug futilely against his grip. It was always like this when anyone forced Mukuro and Kyoya into the same room together. Try as you might to find Takeshi in the crowd to signal for aid, you couldn't find him. Anyone else getting involved in this exchange would only make things worse.
"Oh, Mr. Hibari, I really don't think taking our your tonfa is a good idea!" I-Pin said.
Or perhaps things would get worse without Hayato or Ryohei's help.
"Do we really have to do this?" you raised your voice so that Kyoya could hear.
Of course, he said nothing. Mukuro simply laughed again. The sound raised the hairs on the back of your neck at such close quarters.
"What do you mean? All I'm doing is greeting a dear friend of mine."
"We are not friends."
"[Name], you wound me. Did you not just say that what lies between your brother and myself has nothing at all to do with you?"
"You're not who I'm concerned about."
"Ahhh. So it's still my beloved disciple that holds yourâ"
Only because you'd seen them fight so many times over the course of your life were able to shift in time to avoid Kyoya's first strike with his tonfa. Mukuro let go of you before the metal could touch him. The sudden disappearance of his iron grip sent you tumbling to the hard ground.
"[Name], are you okay?" I-Pin asked as you struggled to right yourself around your gown. All you seemed capable of was getting yourself more tangled.
"Kyoya might have been right about the dress," you answered.
"But he's the one that started it!"
At least you'd dodged the opening assault. No doubt your brother would have blamed you for getting in the way of his never-ending battle with Mukuro, skirts or no skirts. But now you lay forgottenâliterallyâin a heap while those two duked it out again. Each face already glistened with lines of blood, and, much to your horror, the whole debacle had started to draw attention.
"Oi! What do you bastards think you're doing?!"
"Shit," you said as you spotted Hayato rushing in the direction of the fracas. The spaces between each of his fingers held sticks of dynamite. You had to act fast, or Tsuna's entire party would have to be held in the ruins of his recently-built mansion. "Would you two knock it off?!"
If either Mukuro or Kyoya heard you, neither showed it. Only the ubiquitous sound of tonfa clanging against pitchfork replied. Hayato sped nearer all the while. The dynamite drew closer and closer to the lit cigarette clenched between his teeth. Though I-Pin continued to grasp your shoulder as she watched the chaos unfold around her, you managed to shake her off. With a tremendous amount of effort, you heaved yourself up to your feet.
"Stop!"
Although he hadn't mentioned it, your brother probably wouldn't have approved of your heels either. You'd agree with that in retrospect as well. The sudden momentum combined with your clumsy gait sent you stumbling right into the middle of the fight.
"Not at this party, you assholes!"
And just in time for Hayato to throw his own weapon into the ring. The dynamite soared at you as though in slow motion. You could not dodge. You could not swipe it away. You could only watch, aghast, as the explosive sailed right up to you before it detonated with an earsplitting boom.
Crash!
A loud ringing filled your ears. Above you hanged jittering crystals, clouds of smoke, and wisps of purple and indigo flames. You stared at this kaleidoscope in a daze. Then, all at once, sensation slammed back into you: laughter, pain, cold, wet.
"Oh, children! Couldn't you have waited for the real party to arrive before you got to the fun part of the evening?" Footsteps walking through shards of glass heralded the arrival of yet more of an audience to your mortification. "Got into the liquor a little early tonight, hmm, [Name]?"
You recognized the barely stifled laughter before your brain caught up with your eyes to recognize the bright red and lime green blurring across your vision: Lussuria. The Varia had at last arrived.
A chill seeped into your bonesâor maybe that was just the wine soaking through your ruined dress. Unwilling to sit there a moment longer, you gingerly peeled yourself off the collapsed table littered with the remains of the pyramid of glasses. Whether I-Pin's gasp was in reaction to the stains on your wardrobe or the cuts you could feel opening up across your shoulders and arms, you couldn't say. You didn't have the mental capacity to ask, for directly next to the Varia's Sun Guardianâwho was practically quivering with glee at your predicamentâstood the one person you'd been hoping to impress that evening.
Fran's face betrayed nothing of what he felt upon finding you in such a state. Why would it? It never did. Just behind him, Mukuro's red eye danced with amusement. Your brother narrowed his own eyes at the back of Fran's headâcovered, as always, by some ludicrous cap.
Fran made eye contact with you. He said nothing. You said nothing.
"Oh, [Name]."
You felt I-pin lightly grasp your shoulder again, but you shook it off once more.
"I need to go change," you mumbled.
Without waiting for anyone to try to stop you, you turned and mechanically marched from the ballroom. Only a few people called out, but you ignored them. It took every ounce of self-control Kyoya had drilled into you to remain stoic with so many eyes watching your progress. One slipup, one crack in your façade, would only make an already humiliating situation worse.
Step by agonizing step, you made it to the hallway, to the grand stairs, to the room assigned to you as a guest visiting for the party. You let out a tremulous breath as you pulled the heavy wooden door shut behind you with a quiet click.
The bed in front of you looked so welcoming. You could pull of this godawful gown, wash off your makeup, and throw yourself into the lush pillows for a good cry. Certainly nothing else sounded more appealing just then.
But you could not. Someone would come searching for you when you didn't return. The last thing you needed was for either Mukuro or Kyoya to catch you crying over spilled wine, and all that after spilling wine all over yourself in front of a cute boy you rarely got to see.
Then you spotted your reflection in the mirror. This alone cracked your thin veil of composure. Dark wine colored huge patches of your dress. Your impact with the table had loosed your hair from its meticulous styling. Your eyes, despite your best efforts, were red and damp.
A sob burned the inside of your chest, but you refused to let it out. You whipped around and marched to the room's adjoining balcony. If you could not fling yourself into bed and cry, then you could stand outside and watch the last of the sunset over the garden. Clutching your upper arms so hard that your fingernails sent little stabs of pain up them kept you grounded enough to stay calm where someone might spot you.
Why did Kyoya have to be this way? You were a dutiful younger sister, enduring all the rigorous training and lectures on tradition he demanded throughout your life. Though you had not been granted the position of Vongola Guardian, you know that Tsuna (and, more importantly, Reborn) respected your strength and abilities. Not once in all these years had you ceased to do whatever you could to serve your familyâboth blood and figurative. And then the one night you wanted to be someone more than Kyoya Hibari's little sister...
You sucked in your lower lip where it had started to pout. One of your fists pressed into the skin just beneath an eye as a single tear threaten to leak out. Why should you cry? The spiteful part of you wanted to accuse Kyoya of sending you toppling into the drinks on purpose. He hated the thought of you cozying up to anyone related to his sworn enemy, however tangentially. But if you kept thinking that way, you'd never return to the party.
"It would serve him right," you muttered to no one.
But it wouldn't serve Tsuna and Kyoko right. You cared about them. They both deserved to have a blissful engagement celebration without the typical Vongola Family nonsense ruining things as usual. Knowing Kyoko, she wouldn't let the festivities begin until you came back anyway. And yet you couldn't quite bring yourself to make a move to head downstairs. However much you might try to deny it, you did feel fear the same as anyone else.
Still, your fear of embarrassing yourself in front of so many important people in your life could not be allowed to ruin everyone else's evening.
Sighing, you turned back toward the door to your quarters. If you could stomach wrangling Lambo without Futa to help, you could stomach being laughed at for a few hours.
"Why does it take women so long to make themselves look exactly the same?"
That voice drifting up to you froze you to the spot. Your higher brain functions seemed to cease. Did you want to handle this? After a moment or two of mute dithering, you moved back to where you'd been standing to peek hesitantly over the balcony railing. There stood Fran, flat-faced as always.
"Or do you just have identical dresses that look stained?" he asked.
"It's the same dress!" you snapped when your brain finally caught up with your eyes.
"Oh. I wasn't aware that looking that like a drunk dalmatian was so fashionable. I'll have to inform Captain Lussuria."
"Did you only come out here to irritate me?"
"Mah. Not only to irritate you. Your crying jag was getting lengthy."
"I wasn't crying!"
"I suppose having smeared mascara down your cheeks is fashionable now as well."
You inhaled sharply as you lifted a hand to your face. The skin there felt damp. No need to look in the mirror inside to confirm that Fran wasn't making things up.
"I wasn't crying the entire time," you said. "Tell everyone I'll be there soon. I just need to clean myself up a bit, andâ"
"Don't bother."
"Huh?"
"Don't bother cleaning up."
"Fran, wine stains and smeared makeup really aren't in style. I'm not going back downstairs looking like this."
"Why even bother going back?"
Your fingers tightened around the railing in front of you. Sometimes you really had to wonder who thought the cosmic joke of you falling for this boy in particular would actually be funny.
"I can't just ditch, Fran. This party is a big deal. Everyone will notice if I don't show up."
"You mean like they noticed when you fell backwards into the drinks?"
"I didn'tâ"
But you bit your lip hard enough to make it bleed in your rush to clamp your mouth over the end of your sentence. Dutiful sisters did not blame others for their own failures, and neither did full-fledged members of the Vongola Family. You and you alone were ultimately responsible for the whole fiasco. After all, you should have been able to predict that Kyoya and Mukuro would start fighting the minute they laid eyes on one another.
"You do realize they're just going to do that twenty-six more times before the night is over," Fran said, as though he could read your mindânot exactly a comforting thought, all things considered.
"Maybe I should change into pants this time," you conceded.
"You do that. I'm leaving."
And indeed he turned around to do just that. Your heart nearly popped out of your chest.
"W-wait!"
"Why?"
You scrambled for an answer that wouldn't leave you all alone with a sympathetic I-Pin for the duration of the party. "Won't your boss be mad?"
"My boss is always mad," Fran said. "So is Captain Squalo. And Captain Levi. Andâ"
"Okay. Okay. I get it. Everyone in the Varia needs anger management classes. Duly noted."
"Your brother's already plenty mad, too."
True. Your choice of outfit had already incited Kyoya enough to ensure a thorough dressing down later on, even disregarding your spectacular trip into the wine. Now he'd only be more convinced than ever he had been right, that you had no business dressing up like that even for parties such as this one. And while your brother would never physically strike you in order to punish you, his icy demeanor would likely be enough to make everyone around you miserable for the rest of the night.
So why bother going back? You could always beg Tsuna and Kyoko for forgiveness in the morning. Kyoya would be infuriated regardless of your absence. At least Tsuna had been on the receiving end of Kyoya's tonfa often enough that he would likely be sympathetic to your plight.
"Okay." Your entire body slumped over the railing as you surrendered. Undoubtedly you would regret your choice the next day, but for now, you only felt relieved.
Fran hardly reacted. "Let's get going."
"Hey! I still need to change!"
He looked over his shoulder just far enough to allow you to hear his response: "You can if you want. I'm not hanging around here long enough to get dragged back to that sad excuse for a party."
Fran did not stop. If you really wanted to join him, you needed to move fast. Your body seemed to move of its own accord upon seeing this. Down you swung from the balcony to land neatly on your feet in the shadowed grass. Although the dark stains on your gown still showed through, at least in the darkness of dusk they were more difficult to see. And while you paused to check this, Fran moved ever on ahead. You rushed after him and, in a fit of bravery, grabbed his hand.
He looked at where your fingers interlaced, but said nothing.
This made you feel braver still. You squeezed his palm and asked, "Where are we going?"
He shrugged. "There's not much to do around here anyway."
You opened your mouth to protest this impugning of Namimori's honor when a flash of light and movement in the corner of your eye brought you up short. Of course, your luck would lead you right by one of the ballroom's enormous windows. Standing there and looking straight at you were Tsuna and Kyoko. Your blood ran cold. What would they think of you sneaking off with Fran of all people? The Vongola Family's alliance with the Varia was tenuous at best to begin with! If you did something to break the fragile peace with Xanxus, you shuddered to think what sort of training you'd endure at Reborn's hands in retaliation.
Tsuna smiled, the expression so fleeting you thought you imagined it as he turned to walk away. Kyoko made sure to catch your eye, then she winked and held a single finger up to her lips before she followed her fiancé into the waiting crowd.
You couldn't help gaping after them. It couldn't really be that easy, could it?
A tug on your arm drew you back to your immediate surroundings. You couldn't tell by his face if Fran had spotted the happy couple giving you their blessing. He probably wouldn't care if they had. But when he saw you looking at him again, he said:
"Come on. Show me what's so great about this town. We can deal with your brother and my master some other time."
And all at once, your fear melted away. Who was scared of overbearing brothers, manipulative instructors, and Family feuds? Who could even be afraid of being spotted in public wearing a ruined gown and smeared makeup? With Fran by your side, you didn't fear anything at all. And when Kyoya arrived to scold you in the morning, you'd still have one magical night to remember of being your own person whether he liked it or not.















