#found tribe

(FT 3/4) And nothing like reading about gay men to make me grateful to be ace. The theme I hear most often is the counterpoint between not wanting to be gay and really, really wanting to have sex with men. I treat the latter as an anthropologist observing my subjects: yes, I’ve definitely heard that sentiment before so I believe it’s a thing, but I’ve never experienced anything approaching that kind of horniness myself, even as a teenager. Yes, when my sex drive is activated I feel kind of prickly for a few hours until I jack off or forget about it, but not something that shapes my entire life, batters against walls of shame and self-discipline, makes me simultaneously happy and unhappy, decides who I spend time with and how much danger I put myself in.

(FT 2/4) Nothing like reading about Jews to remind me of how intensely and instinctively I look down on anyone less observant or more observant than I am. Also, trying to keep in mind where the latter is concerned that I’m not nearly as observant as I think myself to be. I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve been to schul since starting college ten years ago. I observe the major holidays and festivals very haphazardly or not at all. I have few Jewish friends and certainly am not active in the community. I try to live ethically, and certainly see things from a Jewish perspective compared to a Christian one but only occasionally notice this fact.

(FT 1/4) “I never entertained the belief that I was part of the majority. Does any Jew? Even if you’re brought up in New York as I was, you don’t feel that you’re the average Joe. To the contrary, everything conspires to remind you that as a Jew you’re a tiny fraction of the population, and that you would be entirely overlooked if you weren’t so insistent and scrappy. In fact, since Jews make up less than two percent of the population, and gays make up (let’s be conservative) eight percent, when I came out, I joined a minority four times larger.”