#fossilduo

🦖Chopper: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup? 🦴Funny bone: The afterlife, I guess.

🦖Chopper: Legend says that when you can’t sleep, it means you’re awake in someone else’s dreams. 🦖Chopper: When I find out who you are, I’m going to punch you in the face.

🦖Chopper: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. 🦴Funny bone: You and me! 🦖Chopper: tearing up Ok.

🦴Funny bone: When do you usually go to sleep? 🦖Chopper: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

🦖Chopper: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— 🦴Funny bone: Thats because your too short to do so. 🦖Chopper: …Listen here you fucking—

🦴Funny bone: Coca Cola is a health potion, Pepsi is a mana potion. 🦖Chopper: What’s grape soda? 🦴Funny bone: It’s fucking purple baby!!!

🦖chopper: What are you drinking? 🦴funny bone: Vodka. 🦖chopper: Straight? 🦴funny bone: No, gay. Why?

🦴funny bone: Operation no more distractions is a go! *not even 10 seconds later* 🦴funny bone: Oh, look! A butterfly!

🦴funny bone: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project? 🦖chopper: Do it or you're straight. 🦴funny bone: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

🦴funny bone: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong? 🦖chopper: Yeah, I have. 🦴funny bone: Have you heard of Cole’s law? 🦖chopper: Is this a joke about coleslaw? 🦴funny bone: …maybe.

🦴funny bone: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? 🦖chopper: ICARUS?

🦴funny bone: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. 🦖chopper, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

🦖chopper: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. 🦴funny bone: What did you do chopper? 🦖chopper: a Mistake.

🦖chopper: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! 🦴funny bone: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.