@wingittofreedom wrote this in response to a comment on Man of War.
Spock expresses love by telling people they're wrong (esp. when he's trying to protect them)--probably because that's how his father showed love for him--but Jim is human and doesn't know that :(
It caught my attention not only as a fascinating character interpretation, but also as a new way to look at @wingittofreedom‘s other writing. I’d already been avidly curious about Spock’s perspective in The Sparrow People, and rereading it with this in mind gutted me so bad. There’s plenty of miscommunication and obliviousness on the surface of this story, but there’s even more packed in just beneath.
I started going through scene by scene writing out what I think Spock meant to say based on this insight. After sharing a sample and getting permission and encouragement from the author, I’m opening the angst here to general viewing.
I decided to post the chapters separately for now both to reduce the length and so I don’t have to wait for The Sparrow People to finish, but I might compile it all at the end if anyone’s interested.
Chapter 1: Spinoza
“Spinoza’s Ethics,” Spock said, observing the spine. “Why such a volume?”
[…]
“It just seemed really interesting—I never went to college other than the Academy don’t cha know,” Jim said, a Midwestern idiom slipping accidentally into his hasty speech as he gestured with his hands. “—and I guess I wanted to know what the deal was? I don’t know anything about philosophy, and I don’t really get a lot of what he’s saying, but well, I bet you’ve read it.” Jim stopped himself before he could babble any more, forcibly stilling his hands.
Spock’s head did a micro-tilt. “Yes. He is considered to be irrelevant and rather simplistic by the majority of Vulcans,” he said.
Translation: I commend your desire to pursue education beyond the Academy curriculum. Yet, it is unfortunate that you have begun with this particular philosopher.
“However you mistook my question. I merely wished to inquire why you had chosen to read a paper volume rather than a digital one. Such a choice seems illogical.”
Translation: It is an unusual choice requiring the dedication of personal resources, yet I do not perceive any gain. I wish to understand.
“Yes, I’m prepared [for the mission tomorrow]. We went over everything during that last away-team meeting,” he said tightly, beating down the anger as best he could. “And I was planning to do the Starbase 14 paperwork tonight.”
In a gesture that couldn’t have been an accident, Spock’s gaze flicked to the book on the table and Jim had to physically stop himself from cringing as Spock’s gaze returned to him, again settling just above Jim’s eyes.
“You may recall that you also stated that you were prepared for the mission on Adrastea Prime however that was not the case.”
Translation: You made the same claim for the mission on Adrastea Prime, during which your separation from security as you sought to salvage the situation alone meant I could not ascertain nor ensure your safety. Unfortunately, to trust your assurance again would constitute a risk of recurrence which I refuse to afford.
“You may also remember that the Dzha’al have strict laws regarding physical contact and I wish to emphasize the importance of you upholding them no matter your typical instincts.”
Translation: I am aware that you are a highly tactile being and mean no offense or particular intimacy by touch, however the Dzha’al will not afford you this understanding. I wish to provide impetus for you to exercise the dedicated awareness and control necessary to restrain such instinctive behavior.
“I wished to personally ensure that you are prepared,” Spock said, not budging. “Are you amenable?”
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[♞] Blood the color of candy stained the floor, walls, and her own hands; the sword in her hand still unfamiliar to her, she could feel something warm drying on her face. Of course, the blood must have landed on her too.
“They… wanted to kill everyone… So doing this… It wasn’t… f-for the best…?”
She felt something leave her eye, rolling down her face, a bitter laugh on her lips as she turned.
“I guess I should… h-have been ready to be called that. B-but now th-that assassin is gone…”
