#forget daniel

Elmar and I are reading the first book of the Fallen series, Fallen. I have to say, I am highly enjoying myself for a bit of a trashy teen romance. Elmar is less than thrilled with the choice, preferring to try and finish Mindhunter. However we are both in agreement, Team Cam for the win.

What people seem to overlook when reading Fallen is that while it's set up to be a romance between Luce and Daniel—it's a tragedy. One Elmar and I cannot look away from.

Luce, a girl probably suffering from a form of survivor's guilt, is drawn over and over again to a boy named Daniel. Daniel is an ass to her essentially—actually, not essentially, he just is an ass. But it's implied from the preface that they're connected through some form of reincarnation.

However, Luce also finds herself feeling comfortable with, and having feelings for, this guy named Cam. This is going on the same time she finds herself drawn to Daniel. She has feelings for both guys and she's confused by it. Once even saying the following:

"[It] didn’t make sense, because a gorgeous and friendly guy was standing right behind her, asking her what she’d like to drink. The other gorgeous, infinitely less friendly guy sitting across from her should not be the one she couldn’t stop looking at."

Chapter Five, "The Inner Circle", pg.77 Fallen by Lauren Kate

Luce is self-aware about how screwed up this is.

She knows something isn't right.

But Daniel keeps trying to say she's insane for thinking that they have a connection, which would be a fair point considering the setting of Sword and Cross school. Well, would is the operative word. She would have let it go, and think she really was certifiable—if he didn't start spouting out facts that he knows about her that he shouldn't if they've never met before!

I mean there's an entire chapter dedicated to a swim meet that Luce was supposed to win. She didn't because Daniel and this girl named Gabbe threw her off her game by her assuming Daniel was with Gabbe. She was angry at the both of them and it broke her concentration. Then she lost, and when Daniel asked her how she did, and she said she failed, he replied by starting to say, "But you were always..." before cutting himself off (Kate, pg 90).

And you know how he tries to fix it? By saying that the new kids were always meant to win. By brushing off the electric shock when their hands met as her being crazy. By doubling down that they'd never met before.

Luce internalizes these consistent inconsistencies and points out on numerous occasions how messed up it is. But she's still drawn to him, and the question is why.

So, that's why, a little over a third of the way through the book, I am vehemently anti-Daniel. (I.e. that jerk in the gif above.) And my dæmon, Elmar, agrees. He's very big on the equal respect among partners and valuing yourself. But the question is why are we, Elmar and I, very pro-Team Cam?

Here's why, take everything we just said about Daniel and throw it out. He doesn't try to make Luce look crazy. He isn't an ass to her. He offers her to use his telephone time so she could continue talking to her best friend Callie.

(Callie, by the way, is a queen and a half because she is a constant reminder to Luce that the men in her life must respect her before anything else.)

On top of that, Cam never makes Luce feel unwanted—whether it be during a party he's hosting, like in chapter five, or where I am at currently in chapter seven. Chapter seven at this point is basically a date between Cam and Luce where they learn a little bit about each other, and Cam uses his kitchen-help-time to make sure Luce actually eats because of how late she is to class. They goof around, guessing how each person in the cemetery died. They almost kissed even!

And through it all, he almost always asked for her permission when initiating contact, smuggled in coffee for her, and made her feel comfortable.

Since the moment we met him, Cam genuinely cared for Luce. Even when Cam didn't like her one friend, he didn't complain or prevent her from hanging out with her. He let them go and bond because he respects Luce. And Luce genuinely likes him—but then she's drawn to Daniel like a moth to a flame. There's always this foreboding sense of a cruel twisted star-crossed fate when Daniel appears because of what was implied in the preface.

Fallen is a beautiful tragedy, not a romance.

Fallen is about a girl who gets taken from her home because she was involved with a death of a boy and she can't even explain how. This girl, stripped from everyone she loved and the place she called home, struggles to find acceptance in a new environment and makes some pretty kick ass friends. Fallen is about a girl who likes a boy, one who is genuinely kind and cares for her. One who, above all, respects her and her choices—even after the world stripped almost all of that away from her. Fallen is about this girl and boy as they fall for each other slowly and adorably... only for the girl to be drawn to a boy who seemingly can't stand her all because of an implied twist of fate. Fallen is a beautiful, masterful tragedy.

If I can tell that from only reading about six and a half chapters, why can't anyone else see it that way? Why was it treated like some Twilight knock off when the ideas—intended or not—hold so much more emotional weight and impact? I am genuinely confused.

Yes, the writing is a bit cringe, but at least Luce has some personality. She's even a bit relatable. And the side characters that we actually spend some time with are amazing. Even Daniel, simply for the fact that we hate him so much right now.

So what do you think? Is Fallen a tragedy or a romance? Or is it both?