#forestrambles

i'd like to speak my truth... i am not a johnny fan. he's cute, he's a rabid mutt in a cute pups body but i'm genuinely only a fan of him when simon's the one holding his leash. those baby blues do nothing for me unless they're reflecting a deeply scarred, 6'+ blonde brit in a homemade skull balaclava mask

like he's such a damn perverted loser in my head, pathetically down bad for some cock and or pussy. he's very willing to beg for it and yet the moment he goes down on you you suddenly realize this dog knows absolutely zero tricks. he's got the enthusiasm sure, but if you had to keep pulling him back to teach him you'd be well and truly dry

simon's got the patience and vengeance of a saint, he's the only reason soaps allowed on the bed in the first place. if simon isn't home you'll find that locking it in a crate or left in the backyard to be a far smarter choice. he will climb the counters to destroy your kitchen in search of snacks. yes there is a puddle of water the size of the gulf (of mexico. gulf of mexico) in the bathroom. is it from the toilet or shower? you don't have the energy to find out but not to worry simon will manage it and properly teach the mutt to mind his place and apologize

all i can recall is tht reader was a recent addition to the 141 and was really attracted to john but he'd already labeled them off as basically a child figure rather than a possible partner