#for ada

"From your Daughter: You were always my Thranduil and I was always your Legolas."--Book II Dedication from J.M. Miller, author of The Kingdom of the Woodland Realm Trilogy

It is hard working on my story knowing that I can’t talk to my dad or see him. I just learned he was in the hospital and about to go into rehab, but no one will tell me. I don’t think he wants me to see him in pain--like my mom when she had pancreatic cancer. She went into a coma before I got to the hospital. She died a few hours later. But my parents always tell me everything is fine when it’s not because they want me to do my work and not worry. I’m always going to worry. You always worry about the ones you love. But when I started writing @tkwrtrilogy, he was in the hospital then and every day he’d tell me not to worry and he’d be happy if I was working on my book.

Today, the original version’s first 26 chapters added up to 467 pages. I have 8 chapters left and I will finish it on time. I hope he’s still with me when I finish it (again). This time, it is the real deal--this will be the final Book II (not withstanding the extended version). This is the one that will go out to the experts. This is the one that may go to England. I wish my Dad knew about it. I wish I could just talk to him. I may be the first person to get this far with anything Tolkien that has a real possibility of being viable, but I would give anything to talk to my dad and tell him what I’ve done. I don’t want to dedicate this book after he’s gone like I dedicated my first voiceover to my mom after she died. If I must, I will. I won’t rush to finish because I want everything to be right. But as I always said, “I don’t want to touch the sky alone.” He’s my last parent. After he’s gone, no one will love me anymore. I will be what I was when I was seven--an orphan--that was lucky enough to be adopted by the greatest parents in the world--despite their issues.

But, I worked for hours with a program that finally let me but the story in book form. It looks really good. Unlike the first time I finished, this book will be pounced on by the world quicker. I am followed by The Mindy Project and studios--including one in London working with Martin Freeman who worked with Lee Pace (and Dad, he’s doing real good things in the world still--in pants, I promise). I’ve come so far now, it makes all the obstacles worth the pain.

I finally to a risk--without knowing the future, I stepped into the unknown and knowing my dad was there made the leap worth the fall. It’s just now, I want my Dad to see all the work pay off. I’ve been training my entire life to get here. It won’t be the same without my Dad, but if he has to see me do looking down on me from Heaven, at least he’ll be watching with my mom. They taught me how to read and write and I know their work paid off for me.

“Many places I have been, Many sorrows I have seen, But I don't regret, Nor will I forget, All who took that road with me.”--Billy Boyd (The Last Good-bye)