#foolrushedin

Barney frowned and scowled as he looked around the strange apartment. One minute, he'd been standing on a bridge smoking, taking just the smallest amount of time for himself, and the next...he was here. Wherever the fuck "here" is. Besides an apartment. A really fucking nice one, at that. Even if everything was kinda low to the ground.

"Midget must live here..." He mumbled to himself as he glanced around what appeared to be the living room.

"Hello? Anybody home?"

When there came no answer, Barney shrugged and started straight for the kitchen area. What the hell. Nobody around to miss some food, right? Not like he planned to rob the place blind (...though...it was a nice apartment, and if he took something worth a few hundred bucks, he might be able to actually get something for his brother. Hell, might even get his hearing aids fixed so he could wear them again), he was just hungry as hell.

And who ever owned the place must have been loaded! He'd never seen so much food crammed into a fridge or cupboards before. Quick as he could, Barney started shoving dry goods and cans into his coat pockets, along with a couple packages of lunchmeat and cheese from the fridge. Who knew when he'd get another chance to get such great food!!

With his pockets bulging and ratty jeans sagging under the weight of his stolen food, Barney made his way down the hall, peeking into rooms until he found one that definitely was a bedroom. He knew his chances were slim, but, well, he could really use a new pair of jeans, and some socks. Both for himself and for Clint. Lord knew that kid was still springing up in height and was running out of clothes faster than the circus could come up with replacements for him. Maybe, juuuust maybe, Barney could find some clothes to swipe and take back with him.

Charles Bernard Barton & Ariel Abira Archer Married November 12, 2014

Congrats to my bro and his woman!  Yeah yeah, I know it's late.

Song: I Run to You

Artist: Lady Antebellum

One of Barney's favorite songs to sing if a) he thinks no one is listening, or b) he's drunk enough to not care if anyone's listening.

Barney wasn't a real big fan of having to stay with Clint and Phil. He knew he and Ari were welcome, of course, it was just the principle of the matter! It'd been hard enough getting him up to the third floor with that blasted wheelchair, it would have been stupid to haul him up to the fourth floor. Especially since he wouldn't have been able to get up to the bathroom in Clint's apartment. So, crashing the would-be-step-nephew's room was the way it had to be.

He rolled as quietly as possible out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, his stomach growling and the demand for food, coffee, and a piss (possibly in that order) was just too strong to ignore. Like the stubborn bastard he was (he wouldn't be a Barton if he wasn't a stubborn bastard), asking for help with things wasn't quite his style. He'd accept it if it was offered, mostly, but he wasn't going to go out of his way to ask for help.

Barney knew he'd probably woken up a few times after coming out of surgery, but he couldn't remember anything that was said or happened during those times. When he finally woke up and stayed awake long enough to have a coherent conversation, he rolled his head to the side and watched Ari as she dozed beside his bed.

He couldn't remember much of what had happened. He remembered the tracksuits trying to invade the building, and him and Clint making short work of them. And he remembered Ari joining in the fight towards the end, and heading down to the basement to make sure there weren't any bastards hiding down there. And...that's it. Well, okay, he remembered excruciating pain, but that was all. 

Giving a small hum, he slowly, carefully, reached a hand out to poke at Ari. Moving was the biggest chore in the world at the moment, and he couldn't quite figure out why he was laying on his stomach.

"So... do you guys have an extra mirror?  I need to do something about my hair."

Clint blinked at Ari, noting the bunny ears seemed to be gone, now.  That was nice.  "What are you doing to your hair?" he asked, motioning for her to head back the way he came.  "I'll come up with you, there's one in the apartment."

"Awesome. I need to give it a trim, and my bangs are almost edible."

Clint snorted.  "If you want I can do it for you."

"You. Cut hair."

"Sure, I've done it for other people. What, I can't do hair?"

Ari looked at Clint.  "You don't look like the hairdresser type of gay."

"First off, labels get broken with me.  Second, I could give you any hair style cut and color you want and a kickass manicure to boot."

* * *

The door opened and Barney stepped into the mudroom, instantly turning to hang his coat up on the hook next to the door. He smiled when he saw the other coats already hanging there, damp and drippy onto the mat beneath them.

This wasn't Clint's (...er...Barney's? Yeah. Barney's. He'd claimed it) apartment, but it still felt right. Felt like home. Barney even knew exactly where everything was as he made his way through to the kitchen where a pot was simmering on the stove, the scent of homemade chicken noodle soup filling the air. He stepped up to taste it, moaning softly at the warmth and spices that slipped down his throat before he moved on to grab a soda (...soda? Really? Where's all the beer??) out of the fridge.

He'd no sooner twisted the cap off and taken a drink that Ari stepped into the room, dressed in a pair of Barney's sleeper pants and a sinfully soft and oversized sweater. Barney couldn't fight the grin as he saw her and set his bottle down in favor of pulling her into his arms for a long, slow, sensual kiss. God, he loved the way she tasted, the way she felt in his arms.

Pulling back, he smiled as he brushed the hair from her face, his heart swelling at the sight of her smile and the way her cheek was cool but rosy to the touch. She'd been outside in the cold, obviously. Playing in the snow, no doubt, at least if the snowman in the front yard was anything to go on (...front yard?? When the hell did he get a front yard in Brooklyn??). He took a step back again, glancing around the kitchen and  dropped to a knee as two young boys came racing in, their cheeks just as rosy as Ari's.

One about six, with saggy strawberry blond hair and a missing front tooth to his smile, the other around four, his smile flawless for the moment but his dark auburn hair an unruly mess as they threw their arms around his neck and held on tight. Barney wrapped his arms around them both, holding them close as he stood up and swung them side to side for a minute before placing them back on the floor. He reached into his pocket, pulling out two small, wrapped presents and handed one to each of them before pulling a third out from his other pocket, which he handed to Ari.

The wrapping wasn't quite as good on that one, since it was flimsy and small, but when she unwrapped it to find a little Minnie Mouse headband (much...much...MUCH too small for her!) and onesy to match, it was obvious why it was hard to wrap. Her smile lit up the room and Barney couldn't just stand there and not touch her. Moving back to her side, he wrapped his arm around the small of her back, his other hand coming to rest on the swell of her belly (...and WHOA! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHEN HAD THAT HAPPENED?! THAT HADN'T BEEN THERE A MINUTE AGO!!)

------

Barney sat up quick in bed, eyes wide as he stared around the darkened apartment. And it WAS the apartment! There's the railing that leads down to the main portion. There's Clint's crappy little desk and the nasty bathroom that really needed some help, and Ari asleep next to him. Her stomach nice and flat and not at all swollen up. He checked. Just to be sure and nope, not a swell to it!