#foolish general

One-Shots

The First Night by hollyberrygarden

Summary: "Upon returning to her kingdom after the confrontation with Burning Spice, Golden Cheese struggles. She cannot confide in anyone, save her war general, who is the only witness to such a display. He helps, all the same."

Coincidentally, (I'm pretty sure) the first GoldenSmoked fic I ever read! And it's just as delightful as the first time around - I really love the prose with this one, the language is gorgeous and perfectly conveys Golden Cheese's POV as well as not shying away from how her trauma from losing her wings still deeply affects her. And anyone who can construct a scenario where Smoked "What Are Emotions" Cheese is able to be emotionally vulnerable and honest towards her is automatically a master of their craft. This one's perfect if you're in the mood for something just a little more sombre and sweet with some good old fashioned hurt/comfort.

A Golden View by ShannonTheAuthorArt

Summary: "In two instances, Golden Cheese Cookie and Smoked Cheese Cookie experience a view of the night sky. One in the past, before the Dark Flour War. The other in current times, as they try and evade Burning Spice Cookie. On both occasions, the two confide in each other."

According to my sources - the first fic published with this ship tag (posted before Beast-Yeast ch6 was even out) and MY GOD is it good. I will always favour the headcanon that Golden Cheese and Smoked Cheese had feelings for each other pre-War but it never had a chance to go anywhere before everything went to hell, and this is a PERFECT example of how tragic that would be. The pre-war scene is devastating in how sweet and pleasant it is, because you know how this all ends, and as for the other... nope, no spoilers! This one's excellently written, plus sarcastic banter between the two lovebirds, always a good thing. (Also there's a blink and you'll miss it A Lovely Night - La La Land reference, and that song will forever be them to me)

Foolish stunt by acrilliconcanvas

Summary: "Today, the Golden Cheese kingdom has lit up in celebration, for they commemorate a festival dedicated to none other than their radiant queen. Her praises are sung, people drank and ate to their heart's content, and merchants tried to capitalize off the event by selling her merch. In the midst of all of this, where does the ancient hero and her trusted advisor reside? (or - When Golden Cheese Cookie gets so drunk she ends up flirting with her war general.)"

Exactly what it says on the tin, really! I'm pretty picky when it comes to the "drunken confession" trope, but I LOVE it here (mostly because Drunk Goldie is an absolute delight). This one's funny as hell with some genuine heart and Smoked Cheese trying frantically to maintain his calm and collected persona while he tries to take care of his absolutely wasted Queen is so so so fun, and then having NO clue how to respond to her flirting... oooh it's good.

My Foolish Queen by Kurowatzune

Summary: "His glorious queen fought with all she had, her radiant wings, her immaculate hair, her face, her skin, her beauty… She was the most beautiful and magnificent thing in his world. Seeing that light dimmed hurt more than anything he’d ever felt before."

The first of many "Smoked pines for Golden while witnessing The Horrors during BY6" fics. His internal monologue in this one is on point, the way his mind is crying out things he would never dare say out loud... oooh, it's good. Each scene feels slightly disconnected to give the impression of jumping forwards in time and being able to fill in the blanks ourselves, with a seamless transition from canon material to post-canon writing. And OH MY GOD HE LOVES HER SO MUUUCH

Smoke and Mirrors by Str7b3rry_leyley

Summary: "Smoked Cheese definitely isn't in love with his queen."

An immediate post-canon BY6 fic detailing all the juicy Happenings of their journey back home and holy shit I am eating up EVERY SINGLE WORD of it. This is one I come back to again and again, it's 5K words solid of the most delicious romantic tension you could hope for, with all the internal grappling with feelings and denial of reality that you'd expect from a totally emotionally regulated guy like Smoked. If you think pining is all well and good but you'd like stuff to actually Happen between them, this one's for you! Spoiling as little as possible, this one made me both gasp and giggle out loud - and then PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE at the end (in a good way) but I won't say how. It's a sweet ending, don't worry!

Gilded in Ruin by caraml_cat

Summary: "This was going to be the best day of her life. The day she had been waiting for, the day she had been dropping hints about forever until he finally did so. Her day was finally here. And it was going perfectly."

You know what you did, Caraml. Anyway this one is short but INCREDIBLY POTENT. The amount packed into less than 2K words cannot be overstated - this one will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions alright. From the excitement and joy of wedding preparations, to... uhhh, actually nothing else. GoldenSmoked get married and NOTHING BAD HAPPENS. EVER.

Sick Smoked Cheese | | GoldenSmoked one-shot by CheesenBird

Summary: "Smoked Cheese is sick and refuses to rest. Golden Cheese does not appreciate that and forces him to sleep."

Don't ask me how difficult it was to pick just one CheesenBird fic to put on this list - they write nothing but gold(ensmoked), what can I say? Anyway this one's absolute perfection. Sickfics are classics for a reason, particularly ones where the sickie is doing everything in their power to NOT take care of themselves, and you bet your ass Smoked would rather actually collapse and die than admit he's too ill to work. But the real peak of this fic comes at the end... and I will say absolutely NOTHING, but my goodness I love it when people write Golden Cheese as just as much of a pining idiot as he is.

My Sweet Smokey Bird by Ms_AlienBean

One-Shots (NSFW)

Summary: "Golden Cheese Cookie offers an extended weekend and then joins him at the bathhouse. Both obviously pining for one another. (Smoked Cheese Cookie introduces edging to his Queen, too.)"

Everyone give it up for the first (and for a while, only) Explicit fic of these two!!! And it's such a delight - it takes a bit to get to the actual explicit material but it is well worth it to watch these two sarcastic dumbasses poke each other with sticks and continually dare the other to make the first move. This one has some really fun moments (the bathhouse scene kills me every time) and the actual smut is short and sweet, it will not disappoint!

Ascension of the Golden Goddess by Torak_EverBurning

Summary: “Golden Cheese Cookie has lost, humiliated, and locked in a cell with Smoked Cheese Cookie. But, he will not let her be humbled or silenced, for he knows she is a Goddess. He need only remind her of that.”

TORAK, YOU LEGEND. This smutshot was requested by Yours Truly and my god was it worth the wait. This one’s based around the birdcage scene (i.e. one of my favourite scenes in BY6) except it takes a spicy turn… The dialogue is on-freaking-POINT despite still being different from the actual dialogue from the scene itself, it feels right at home. Also the ending is… well, the title gives it away, but it’s excellent.

Oversight by The_One_Storyteller

Summary: "Mozzarella finds out she doesn’t like unpredictability as much as she once thought."

This one is just under 700 words and the one singular additional tag is "Accidental Voyeurism". You work out the rest. It's pure fucking comedy (pun intended) with the distinction of being from a character POV that's not Golden or Smoked! (Also side-note I feel like this one's a little mis-rated, it's rated as Explicit but there's very little to warrant that imo. Not a knock against the actual fic tho)

Multi-Chapters

Indulgence by Anonymous

Summary: "Smoked Cheese's hatred and desire for his Queen do not cancel one another out. They go hand in hand. It's every bit as confusing as it sounds. But nothing a little shameful fantasy can't fix."

Sweet, sweet guilty repressed fantasy sex, MAN am I glad this exists. Smoked Cheese actively combusting from the duality of his feelings for Golden Cheese is one of my favourite parts of their Crispia-era dynamic and this is EXACTLY why. Bonus points for him trying to rationalise what's happening using his fucked up control freak complex. Bonus bonus points for utilising the idea of Smoked using his powers on himself, I have NOT seen that taken advantage of nearly enough by fic writers.

Your Greedy Desire by CheesenBird

Summary: "What if in chapter 18 of Crispia Smoked Cheese doesn't enact his rebellion? Worried about the outsiders casting suspicion onto his plans, Smoked Cheese decides to hold off on his rebellion to get closer and gain more of his queen’s trust first instead. Things end up taking a different route when he gets a little TOO close than he planned…"

I lied, I'm putting this one on the list too because it's THAT good. The concept already has me hooked because I am enamoured by the complicated mess that is Crispia-era GoldenSmoked, and watching Evil Bastard Smoked Cheese's attempts to shmooze his way back into his Queen's good graces while internally screaming is soooooo good. And the character introspection - this fic paints SUCH an interesting picture of both of them, managing to give the reader a glimpse into both of their fucked up ways of thinking even while staying in Smoked's POV. Beyond excited to see where this one goes!

Mine, All Mine by GlitchedMangle

Summary: "After Golden Cheese Cookie and Smoked Cheese Cookie return from Beast Yeast, Smoked Cheese starts acting odd, and Golden Cheese worries for her dear general. OR: Smoked Cheese is listening to what his queen says and it freaks her out."

This one's part of the series 'Just How The Story Goes', which does have much more GoldenSmoked in it, but this is the fic in that series that emphasises them the most so it goes here. Pedantics aside, this one is a favourite of mine (not just because my friend wrote it!) The dual POV does a great job exploring the slightly shaky but incredibly caring (in their own way) repaired bond post-BY, as well as how they sometimes just completely misunderstand one another and yet inexplicably click. They love each other not just despite but FOR their rougher edges, I'm ILL. Also the end made me cackle out loud, iykyk

Foolish General by CookieHavoc

Summary: "Minutes ago (or so it seemed to him), Smoked Cheese was broken down, furious, an enemy to all, and his best-laid plans had all gone to waste - only to be returned to slumber by his foolish Queen. Now that he's back... he has a lot to think about. And he should probably think quickly, given he and the foolish Queen in question have been thrust into a hostile and unfamiliar land with an unknown new threat right on their tail. He should've just followed the Cheesebirds..."

Wow, wonder who wrote this one... To be honest, it did feel a little self-congratulatory to put my own fic on this list, but fuck it, celebrate your accomplishments and whatever. This is the ENTIRETY of Beast-Yeast ch5-6 written from Smoked Cheese's POV as he grapples with his past mistakes, struggles to read the room, recognises some of the worst parts of himself in the hellscape they've ended up in - and rediscovers his frustrated adoration for his Queen. This is one of my favourite things I've written and is basically a glorified excuse to dump all my Character Thoughts and random headcanons into one place with a bunch of self indulgent ship fuel, resulting in what I like to call "Canon Malicious Compliance" (i.e. anything goes if you can't prove it DIDN'T happen in canon!)

for whatever it means by gaikotsurira

Summary: "She'd never see him as he saw her--an ordinary cookie, no matter how strong, compared little to an ancient hero destined to carry her legacy for eons. That wouldn't stop Smoked Cheese Cookie from trying."

This one's so lovely, you guys... everything about Smoked's internal Smonologues where he constantly goes off on tangents and gets in his own head about the tiniest of things is so wonderfully in character. The banter he has with Golden Cheese is also delightful and captures everything I love about their dynamic, from the sarcastic jabs to the genuine connection they have. And gotta love incorporation of the other two members of the Cheese Squad - Mozz's little speech in chapter 2 is an all-time moment for me, it's so fun. This fic is like chicken soup for the soul and I love it

Smoke and Mirrors, of no reflection by CheesenBird

Summary: “Modern setting Vampire AU. Smoked Cheese finds himself struggling to hide the fact that he is a newly-turned vampire, whilst attending a school of vampire hunters.”