How To Determine if Your Pen Pal is Trustworthy
Though finding friends through online pen pal services can be fun, there are people out there who use these services for malicious purposes (even though there are very few of these). You have to be able to determine if who you’re speaking to is good for you. Here are some things to look out for:
GOOD Signs:
• They are open about their name, age, and location • You see a picture of them early on • They openly talk about their personality and interests • They mention interests that are beneficial to themselves or others, such as volunteer work, journaling, yoga, reading, etc. (This can show that they are interested in doing good things and they are a positive person). • They keep to the same ideas and don’t constantly seem to change their actions or what they say • They mention their educational progress, for example they could say that they’re in college • They like to talk about the interests they had listed in their penpal advertisement or opening message to you • They seem similar to their penpal advertisement or opening message to you • They use manners and act nicely (such as asking how you have been, giving you a compliment, wishing you the best, etc.) • They don’t try to ignore what you’re talking about just to say what they want to talk about • They keep the conversation PG-13 or below until you’re comfortable going over
BAD Signs:
• They seem secretive and won’t give you their name/alias, age, or general location • They refuse to ever show themselves (they may use an excuse as being insecure or not having a working camera, which can be common lies to never show their face) • They are secretive of who they are and their interests • They are heavily related to pornography (for some reason, pornography accounts run wild on Tumblr and sometimes message people who are looking for pen pals) • They often ignore all or most of what you say • They don’t mention any education or don’t respond to when you ask • Avoids questions which can reveal more about who they are • Doesn’t act interested in getting to know you • Asks for a favor early on in your conversations • Over-does how much of a “good person” they are or how nice they are (such as nonstop listing good deeds or “sucking up” to you) • They share too much information immediately, such as their entire legal name, full address, every social media account, sends pictures of many things that aren’t related to the conversation, etc. • They don’t fully understand how pen pals work • Claims they are good at speaking a certain language but actually make many mistakes and errors • Reacts well and kindly to any constructive criticism
