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Her innocence is new to me

So are her green eyes and her pale skin

I didn’t know I could feel like this again, the butterflies in my stomach, the shivers down my spine so childish but so nice

And when she calls my name, when she laughs at my dirty jokes, I know she is repairing what others broke.

So I thank that girl, and every night I’ll pray that she never goes away

not the one here with me,

but the one who felt like home,

who made love endless.

You loved me then

but it wasn’t me.

You loved my mask,

the shadow I wore

to hide my chaos,

to hide my truth.

I searched for myself

and found only echoes.

And still, you held me close.

Now I have fire in my veins,

earth in my bones,

and a voice that is mine.

But with that truth,

I lost the version of you

I built my forever on.

How cruel:

the moment I became real,

the you I loved began to fade.

And yet, I stay.

Swallowing my loneliness,

my quiet unhappiness,

because a part of me waits,

prays,

for the return of the one I want,

the one I love,

the one I imagined.

Together but apart,

I hold your ghost,

hoping someday