#foldingpaperproject

This section is by Julie Anne Agnew

Felix knew it was coming, that familiar tug of death with its pinched fingers firmly gripped around him, but in that moment he didn’t care. He tried to ignore the pain as the cliché of life flashing before his eyes erupted all around him in sunlight and sparkle. And all he could see was Cal.

All this time he had coddled and protected his love for Nadia, the only woman he had ever shown an interest in! But now, here, as the lights both glowed and faded, Felix laughed at the irony of wanting nothing more than Cal. Not his plans for a bat sanctuary, not the money- and definitely not his family- but the one person who rescued him from every doubt.

An overwhelming desire shot through him; the realisation that he had been such a fool; a misplaced devotion for a step mum he never wanted! It was fun at first, all the pranks they would play and the retaliation she would come up with. In many ways Nadia was the creative one when it came to revenge pranks most dubious and surreal, but always with fun in mind. At least that’s what he had thought. Then somewhere along the lines it got blurred. It changed from fun loving step mum to just loving. But he never acted on it, Nadia might inspire a passion he had never had for women, or ever would again, but she was still his fathers wife and later his brothers lover.

Lying here, Felix couldn’t focus. His life flashed too fast, from his best friend to Nadia, from his growing up to his settling down. Then with clarity the questions came- Did Gareth come for him rather than give him his share of dad’s inheritance? Did Nadia come for him because he knew too much? Did the “shady” investors find a way to get their message and money back? His eyes fluttered closed- the last thing he saw was Cal- would he ever have the courage of confession to say how he really felt about him? All the time he wasted, hiding from the truth, ashamed of being gay and afraid of being rejected, now here he was dying in some back street bistro, having let his life pass him by.

It was hours later when once again his eyes began to open. Like the last thing he saw before they closed, the first thing he saw now was Cal but he couldn’t understand the implications. He was supposed to be dead. He knew without a doubt he was in trouble if he survived this. He knew too much. And to be brought to the hospital where Nadia nursed only increased the risk of life turning to death.

This section is by LSafeguarding

"Just a minute" The knocking more insistent "Just. A. Minute!" Trousers - robe - bath towel - something - anything. That fog between sleep and being awake - trying to make sense of time, the missed calls, that infernal knocking... Why was he having so much trouble focusing? How much had he taken last night? 25 missed calls? Seriously? The empty scotch bottle staring back accusingly. 25 missed calls? What the hell is the time and that bloody door! Stop bloody knocking! The bathrobe dragged on - stagger to the door - fish eye view of the corridor - room service? Had he ordered room service? He might have done.  The fog between his ears suggested he might have done anything. Opening the door will stop the knocking. Who is it? Room service. He knew that - but something made him ask even though the fish eye view of the corridor had already told him that, part of his brain was still playing catch up. 

 “Thank you. Put it over there.” Shut the door. Sit down. Stare at tray. Coffee - reasonable Toast - so breakfast then? A glass of.....orange? Could be pineapple... A plate with a silver domed cover which looked ridiculously ostentatious and no means of guessing what might be under it.... The scrambled eggs were not what he would have normally ordered, but then he didn't actually remember ordering anything, The bacon was seriously overdone but what caught his attention was the note folded and partially concealed under the rasher. Partially tainted by the congealed grease. "Market Square - 14:00, G.” Seriously? 25 missed calls and now some random message delivered with a breakfast he had no recollection of ordering? He still hadn't really woken up properly and what he needed more than anything was a strong black coffee, a couple of paracetamol and a hot shower! Not necessarily in that order. If there is one small consolation for the exorbitant bar costs in luxury hotels it is that they usually have a decent shower and this one was no different. Water temperature set very high and power-shower away the fuzziness... Wind down to fully cold. Resist urge to cry out loud .... Back up to hot! That was....bracing! Coffee - hot, strong, black and very sweet! Window fully open for a blast of fresh air. 

This section is by James Cook

Emboldened by raw emotion, Felix broached a subject he had buried away for the best part of half his life. Maybe it was his survival instinct kicking in, an imperative that drove him to this action, to this path, to ultimately risk the one person left in this world he would still consider family, trustworthy and to an extent, loyal. For all that this meant to him, he was to throw it away to save his backside and those bloody bats. Those bloody beautiful bats.

"Gareth, I will come straight out with it: I need three million pounds. I know what you're going to say, that you don't have that sort of money, I know. But, you always said you would help me out one day, when I really needed it. Well, the day has come." He cheeks warmed with the audacity of asking for that sort of money from someone he hadn't spoken to in years.

"No, no, no, listen to me. Do not fob me off. I need that money. It is a matter of life and death and you owe me. You know of what I speak." A quiet filled the room. Only the sound of his beating heart could he hear. It was loud, as though his heart had migrated to his throat and then split in two to beat in both ears even louder than before.

The matter of life and death Felix referred to was the time when they were at a garden party hosted by one of their father's business associates. It was a warm, Summer's day and long story short, Felix had been caught behind the cricket pavilion with his shirt off kissing one of the waiters. His father was the laughing stock. Looking back, Felix seemed to have a thing for waiters. Perhaps it was their expected servile nature or perhaps it is because they come and go. Nevertheless, at that time, having a 'queer' son served only to be an embarrassment to their conservative father who subsequently treated him as such. Felix and his father's relationship deteriorated and not long after, Gareth's. Felix had never forgiven Gareth for not sticking by his side, but then Gareth was young and had his whole life mapped out so long as he took his father's side and stood by emollient. Despite this, Felix knew he would not have become the independent, ambitious man he is today if he hadn't have been driven to forge a new path. He knew that he and Gareth were as different as nature and nurture. You know what they say about survival of the fittest and Gareth never once pulled a waiter.

"You don't understand. I don't care how you get the money, but think about it, will you still be dad's favourite if he finds out the truth of what happened back then. Look what happened to me. I know we were both young and naive, but will dad see it that way? Would you risk the comfortable life you have earned nestled under father's wing? That shit storm will make my 'transgression' pail in comparison. You know it will."

For the first time in years, long-buried childhood memories flickered through Felix's mind, as though illuminated by a match. When Gareth and he were in their mid-teens, they had holidayed in southern France with the family. Their father owned a vineyard in Provence and, despite the hot Summer days, neither of them liked the fact that he would spend the entirety of the vacation meeting with business associates leaving them with their evil stepmother. They were both too old to need a new mother, but in reality she was actually alright, more than alright actually. Being in her mid-twenties she was closer to their age than their father's, she was stunning and both brothers were infatuated with her. They would play practical jokes on her all the time. One time, they had set up their 'best' booby-trap yet. Perhaps it was a step (or three) too far, or the pity he felt, but Gareth went back into her room to prevent her from being covered in a choice cow pat shovelled up fresh and ripe from the field, when she walked out of the shower. Gareth was a tall, strapping lad back then and looked the spit of his father when he was at that age. You can guess what happened next, and nine months later our 'step-brother' was born. Looking back, Felix concluded that she was just as neglected by their father as they were except they had each other. She had no-one. Father never found out.

Gareth plead denial, then anger and depression after. He was going through the five stages of grief as this long-buried secret was unearthed. Felix was outraged when Gareth tried to bargain his way out of it, but promptly stamped it out, more vicious than he had ever been.

"I pity you. You didn't have the courage to be yourself, you didn't even have the courage to stand up for me when I carried that secret for you, for so long, to this day, but no longer. You are my brother, but if you don't do this for me then you are dead to me. Get the money to me or it will be the downfall of us both."

As he heard the words come out of his mouth, his own mouth, he felt as though he was looking down over himself making the call, sat there in the midst of papers and neatly tucked chairs, chaos in the calm. What had he become? His life. His situation. But no longer his problem only. He must survive as he always had: On his own, taking no prisoners, doing whatever it took.

"You have until Tuesday, yes only five days, but Gareth, you had better get this done or there will be hell to pay." Felix ended the call, his hands shaking from the adrenaline. He slumped back into his chair exhaling his sins. Those bloody bats.

This section is by Molly (Mimmerr) 

“What on earth do you think you’re doing, Nadia?” Felix shouted, although he faltered, trying to keep his voice low to avoid attention. He pelted a towel at Nadia, her gaze immovable, staring at something not quite there, but the sole focus of her attention, anything to take her mind away from the chaos of the last day and the one ahead of her. 

She should be a few rooms down, ready for make up and hair, the first few photographs of her getting ready, the ones full of anticipation, friendship and content tears. Yet here she sat, the remnants of blood under her fingertips and speckled across her face, luckily splattered like blusher. 

“Do you not understand how bad this looks? What if someone saw you come down here?” Felix pondered his own question for a moment, did he really care himself? At least it would stop the hiding, the lies and Cal’s suspicion, it would all be over, he and Nadia would be together at last. He would whip that ring off her finger, toss it into the sea. No, sell it, that and the sanctuary, they would go travelling around the world, taking their minds off the hearts they had broken, leaving them to perish in the dust behind them. 

“We need to talk about what we saw. People are going to ask questions, Fe. They’re going to think I did it. That we did it. And I can’t have anyone finding out about why we were out on that boat. Or what was in that awful book of his.” Felix glanced down at his shoes, hiding the hurt that she still wanted to pretend that she didn’t care for him, that she cared for that idiot assistant more. She continued, “We’re as guilty as the murderers, you know that? We stood by and just let it happen.” 

“That’s not true. We did try and save him.” 

“Yes, and that’s why our prints are there.” 

“And his body is in the other room.” Her mouth widened. 

“And his book is there too.” He thought best to break all the bad news now, rather than later. She looked like the summer breeze might blow her away but suddenly she laughed, a bellying one, it filled the room. “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.” She said as he sat next to her and joined in.  “What are we going to do Felix? We don’t have any good information for the police. We were there. Didn’t see their faces. But let them do it. Touched the body, but didn’t bring it to shore... and now it’s here. No-one is going to believe us.” She looked at him, the way she always did; it made his stomach drop, his cheeks blush, almost as if it were a few years ago when they had first met, when no-one was being hurt in the process, including murder. 

This section is by Loli Hall.

“I need a cigarette.” Cal sighed, running both hands through his hair, “You go and get changed, we need to call the police and you look guilty.” He threw Felix one last longing look and walked towards the elevator. 

Felix looked down at his suit, there were small blood stains on his trousers. It took him a moment to realise these were from the gash on his finger. He let out a sharp laugh, the irony of it all, here he was stood in the middle of a murder scene, covered in blood from a completely unrelated, comically minor incident. He headed back to his and Cal’s hotel room. He had only brought his suit as they were only staying one night for the wedding, but Cal, being the responsible half of the couple as always, had brought more than enough clothes. He pulled out a pair of dark grey tracksuit bottoms and a black jumper, then quickly got undressed, putting his blood-stained suit at the bottom of the suitcase. 

He got in the shower and sat down on the cold tray, running the water just hot enough to make him feel something other than the overwhelming confusion and guilt. He knew it had to have been Nadia. He thought about the cryptic voicemail she had left him earlier in the day, “Marty knows about us. He has pictures. My marriage will be over before it even started. Please Felix, stop him. I want to get married, meeting you was a mistake and I’m sorry, but we have to stop Marty. Whatever it takes. If you love me you will.” 

“I tried Nadia,” Felix said to himself, thinking about his feeble attempt to give Marty a more interesting story by getting drunk and swimming naked in front of his yacht. He knew he hadn’t tried hard enough, but how could she expect him to help her with this sham of a marriage? They were meant to be together. 

This section is written by Catherine

‘I knew that you couldn’t, wouldn’t, have done it,’ Cal told Felix,‘but how did that happen? What are we going to do?’ Felix was silent. How could he tell Cal that he knew who had done it? He knew the secrets that the notebook contained, and they weren’t pretty. His love for Nadia have never faltered, but he knew what she was capable of. Cal was meant to be his partner, his rock, the love of his life, but he had no loyalty for him. His loyalty would forever remain with Nadia. 

One thing was for certain, he needed to get that notebook from Cal before he read it. ‘Honestly, Cal, I just walked in on him like that. I don’t know who could have done it, or why, but I can promise you that it wasn’t me.’ Cal offered a small smile. ‘I know, I know, but who would have done it? Why were you even there, Felix? Please don’t tell me you were together with him?’ Felix laughed ‘Oh Lord no, of course not, I went up to go and tell him what I thought of him but someone had already got there. I wouldn’t have done that to you, Cal, honestly.’ 

This section is by Harpreet

A few hours earlier...

‘Look, I can try to prove I didn’t do anything on my own, but I need you to trust me,’  said Felix pleadingly. Trust? Cal remembered back to the hickey on Felix’s neck that one night and the unusual scent he had. Was this the moment to vent his insecurities? It was all getting too much for him, he needed space.

‘I can’t do this right now. If you don’t leave right now, we will both say things we’ll regret. Give me an hour to think.’ Felix nodded slowly. He hesitated at the door, looking at the notebook, and then shook his head and left. It was unlike his usual energetic behaviour, then again, if he was telling the truth, I guess he was traumatised too. Thinking back to that evening, had there been blood on Felix? Maybe he was telling the truth. 

Tired and confused, Cal flicked through the notebook when a photo flittered to the floor. He picked it up and horrified, stared at the familiar faces. His eyes burned as he stared at Nadia and Felix hugging in the bedroom window. Was this a sick joke? He could clearly make out the hotel window, just a few streets away from where they lived. After all this time, they had secretly been meeting each other behind his back? 

Why would he trust anything that Felix said now? His chest felt tight and he was struggling to breathe. Breathe, Cal, breathe he kept repeating to himself. Just like any other day, he was alone again. He turned the picture over and it said 2/5 and had been dated 1 week ago. So much for Felix being over Nadia. Why did Nadia go through with this engagement? None of it made any sense.

He rushed outside to get some air, get away from this place that held so many memories of Felix. Cal walked past the small groups of people.

This section is by Julie-Anne Agnew.

After returning the bats to their habitat on the resort, Cal once again returned to his office. Picking up the notebook from his top desk drawer, Cal skimmed through the pages of the nonchalantly, without registering anything he was seeing. His was upset. No, more than upset. He felt a familiar white hot anger burn in his chest at the sheer stupidity of Felix actions. Hadn’t they been confidants? Hadn’t they been each other’s rock through every hard decision? Why now would Felix do such a stupid thing, putting their entire future in jeopardy? They had ploughed every penny they had into this business and now it was all on the line because reckless Felix had done his usual; acted on emotion rather than logic. And if Felix went down, Calm knew everything would go too. He would lose everything.

His anger began to settle into a thing hard line of determination; He wasn’t going to let all his hard work boil down to a friend, who put his own desires about their friendship. Clearly it was a one sided relationship and Felix didn’t respect it as much as Cal, or he wouldn’t have done this.

With a jolt, Cal realised he hadn’t actually asked Felix what had happened. “So much for being his rock,” Cal muttered under his breath. “I didn’t even give him the benefit, just assumed it was murder and at his hands.” He shifted uncomfortably, moving away from determination to despair. He wasn’t so much the great friend either.

“No, you didn’t, did you?” Felix called softly from the door “It wasn’t me Cal. I know it looks bad, I know Marty was responsible for every horrible thing currently going on in my life, or at least it feels that way. But even I wouldn’t be that stupid.”

It was true, Mart’s TrashCam business would ruin the little happiness they already had, and Felix couldn’t deny he was on a path of self-destruction, but is that enough to murder someone?

“Cal, you’re the only anchor I have at the moment, work with me, not against me. I was sent a memo from the lobby to go to Marty’s room, I saw what you saw”.