Wow. So, I just wanted to say thank you. To some writers, I’m sure this isn’t as big a deal and they’re probably thinking “oh you silly newb.” But still, thank you.
Let me explain why your likes and reblogs and comments and tags on my silly little ficlets are so important to me...
First understand, “Know You Better” is actually my first ever fanfic.
I have wanted to write fanfic for about a decade, but never had it in me to do it. I write a lot! Have almost daily since I was a tyke. But I just didn’t have the mindset for fanfiction. I struggled with grasping characters that were not my own original concept. Recently, however, I randomly woke to a deep affection for this pairing, did a tumblr search on a whim, and read some gorgeous fanfics by a few people (shadesfalcon, flyingblackhawk, etc) and then...it clicked. I felt the need to write. So I wrote.
I wrote it in the course of two hours, and sort of threw it up here with a sense of “welp, that’s that then!” because that’s usually the extent of tumblr for me. I may get an average of 10 to 15 notes tops on posts of things I put a lot of effort into. Back in 2012, I had some art posts on my main dump blog (kerosenekate) that got a lot of notes, but a lot of those were spambots and they trickled in slowly over the course of months or years.
So imagine my surprise when I post this thing I think will disappear into the depths of tumblr like everything else, it goes a couple days accumulating all of 12 notes...and then over the course of only a few hours last night explodes into nearing 100 notes as of me typing this. For me, that is huge. Small pickles for most fic writers, I imagine, but for me, HUGE.
And it came at a good time, because the last month has been so awful. Yesterday and last night, when “Know You Better” and the sketch of Clint and Natasha were getting note after note after note, I was helping move my parents out of the home they’ve lost due to cancer bills and other consequences of my father’s illness, and then I was driving from 9:30 pm until 12:30 am to pick up my kid sister so she can come help out for a couple days too, and I was so tired, and weary in my mind and soul and body, and I’ve only slept for maybe 30 hours since last Saturday, and I fell into bed at 1 AM only to wake up again at 5:30 AM with my brain on a rampage about all the things that need doing.
Then I rolled over, picked up my phone, and saw TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY NOTES, accumulated between the two fics I had posted here on Mind the Target and that sketch of Clintasha.
Let me tell you, I had a panic attack for a second. But then I started to read the tags and comments on reblogs, and I just... I wish I could thank each and every one of you individually, and I know you might not see this if you aren’t following me, but if you do...
YOU. Thank you.
It is so incredibly heartwarming to come into something new and strange to me, where I feel like an outsider, and see nothing but appreciation and incredible reception and thank you. Thank you for liking and reblogging and commenting on these silly little words. I know it’s not about me, it’s about the characters that you love, but dear heavens...
You’ve made today a good day.
