#fluffyjulydayfour

You knew something was wrong the second Aaron Hotchner called everyone into the conference room and Derek Morgan was already grinning. That was never a good sign.

Morgan only smiled like that when one of three things was happening:

Either someone had already embarrassed themselves, someone was about to embarrass themselves, or he had information he was positively dying to weaponise.

And judging by the way he kept glancing between you and JJ, you were becoming increasingly concerned you fell into category three.

He knew something you didn't. Fantastic.

You slid into your usual chair and tried very hard not to read into anything as JJ settled beside you, just as she always did.

She also smelled annoyingly good, as usual. Expensive shampoo mixed with the kind of perfume you had spent an embarrassing amount of time pretending not to notice.

You did not have a crush on JJ, you simply had a manageable appreciation of her. Some may even call it a professional admiration. A tiny- Okay, fine.

It was a massive, 5-year-long crush. Ever since you had started working together.

But in your defense, basically everyone had one at some point. JJ was beautiful, intelligent, calm under pressure, and somehow capable of making even FBI-issued clothes look unfairly attractive.

It wasn’t your fault.

Hotch began the meeting quickly, "We have a serial offender operating in a suburban neighborhood outside Arlington."

The crime scene photos came up, showing a several couples, all victims. All of them women. Garcia’s spoke up, "All identified victims were in long-term same-sex relationships. Mostly married or cohabitating."

You straightened instinctively, and from the corner of your eye you were fairly certain JJ had done the same.

Hotch continued, "The unsub appears to be surveilling couples with highly visible routines."

The images changed, revealing the familiar brutality of the crime scenes alongside something altogether more unsettling... Photographs.

The victims alive. On morning runs, walking the dog, loading groceries into the car.

Snapshots of ordinary domestic life that the unsub had left neatly arranged at each scene.

"He targets predictability," David Rossi said.

"Hmm, routine creates opportunity," added Prentiss.

Hotch nodded once and glanced at his notepad, "We need undercover presence in the neighborhood."

You frowned but nodded. It was reasonable for that to be suggested, although unorthodox. Who would be asked, you didn't know. You'd heard Sarah from the fourth floor had a specialty in long-term undercover and-

You finally clocked that Hotch was looking directly at you.

Then at JJ.

Oh no... Absolutely not.

"We need a believable couple." He cleared his throat. There was a moment of silence whilst you caught Morgan’s grin widening in the corner of your eye.

No.

No, no, no.

Hotch continued like he wasn’t dropping the biggest work-related bomb you'd had since starting to work with the BAU. "You and JJ will move into the safe house as partners."

Your brain stopped. Like, fully 100% stopped. Nothing going on up there, complete white noise.

Beside you, JJ remained infuriatingly composed. She looked calm, professional and entirely unbothered, as though Hotch had assigned the pair of you to organise paperwork rather than spend several days pretending to be married.

Meanwhile your internal monologue had become incoherent screaming. Morgan leaned back in his chair, "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

You glared, "No." you muttered back through slightly gritted teeth. Morgan just ignored you and Prentiss smirked. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at another of your friends joining in to bully you.

"I mean, you two already bicker like a married couple." Prentiss shrugged.

"No, we do not," you said immediately. JJ, at the exact same time said, "No, we really don’t."

Morgan actually slapped the table, "Oh, come on!"

Prentiss laughed whilst Rossi hid a smile behind his coffee mug. Hotch, refusing to indulge in the nonsense, continued as though none of them had spoken, "You’ll need a convincing backstory."

Garcia chimed in, "I already made one!" Because of course she had.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, "Names?"

"No, no," Garcia protested, "we’re keeping your real names. Less chance of slip-ups." You looked at your friend, smiling down at you. She looked, and sounded, entirely too pleased with herself, "Relationship duration: five years."

You choked, "Five-?"

Garcia kept going, "Married for two." She placed a pair of wedding bands onto the conference table, and somewhere to your left Morgan made a noise that sounded suspiciously like suppressed laughter.

This was an actual living nightmare. A very attractive nightmare, don't get me wrong but... a nightmare all the same. And through it all JJ was still calm, composed even.

How was JJ not panicking? You risked a glance, which ended up being a big mistake because JJ had turned at that exact moment.

Your eyes met and... was that amusement? No, impossible. Maybe it was pity? God, that was even worse.

Then JJ leaned slightly toward you and said quietly, just for you, "You’ll survive."

The low murmur near your ear did absolutely nothing helpful for your nervous system. You swallowed and mumbled, "Easy for you to say."

One eyebrow lifted, "Why?"

Because I’ve been half in love with you for years and fake dating you sounds psychologically catastrophic.

You smiled tightly instead, "No reason." JJ held your gaze for a fraction longer before looking back towards Hotch.

"Pack for a week," he said, dismissing the meeting.

You gathered your files, the mission packet and your godforsaken wedding ring before making a determined escape for the door. Morgan caught up to you in the hallway.

"Oh, sweetheart."

"Don’t." You rushed away, but he kept pace.

"This is better than Christmas."

You rolled your eyes, "I hate you."

"No, you don’t."

Prentiss joined from the other side, "L-O-V-"

You groaned, "I need new coworkers."

Morgan grinned, "No, what you need is to admit-"

"No." You dropped your things on your desk, catching the ring last minute as it started to roll towards the edge.

"You don’t even know what I was gonna say."

"Yes I do."

Prentiss smirked, "He was gonna say you have the biggest crush in the BAU."

You huffed, stuffing the ring in your pocket, "You know, I’m going to report both of you to HR."

Then, a steady voice behind you, "Ready?"

JJ.

Your entire body straightened immediately, going into professional mode, "Yep." You nodded formally.

Morgan and Prentiss exchanged a look so obvious it bordered on offensive. So incredibly obvious that even JJ noticed, "What?"

Morgan smiled innocently, "Nothing."

JJ narrowed her eyes and then looked at you, "You packed?"

You blinked. Shook your head, "Not yet."

"Okay." She nodded once, "We leave in two hours." She started walking but then paused, looking back, "You coming, baby?"

Silence. The entire hallway froze. Morgan’s mouth dropped open, Prentiss stopped dead in her tracks and your soul quietly left your body.

JJ’s expression remained perfectly neutral and then, the tiniest smirk.

"Oh my god," Morgan whispered as JJ kept walking, not even a glance to check you were following.

You stood rooted to the floor and Morgan grabbed your shoulder as he walked past, giving it a sympathetic squueze, "You’re so screwed."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The safe house was… aggressively suburban, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it was unnatural to you.

The neighborhood was full of identical two-storey houses with identical trimmed hedges and identical little porches, each one looking like it had been copied and pasted.

It had all the classics: white picket fences, flower boxes lining windowsills, wind chimes. You stared at it all out the passenger window as JJ pulled into the driveway.

"This feels fake."

JJ switched off the engine before turning to you, "We are undercover."

"No, I mean this neighborhood feels fake." You gestured towards the house opposite, "Look at that mailbox."

JJ glanced over, "It’s a mailbox."

"It has flowers painted on it." You shrugged, feeling you had proved your point just like that.

She unbuckled her seatbelt, "Just to clarify here that you are judging a mailbox."

"What can I say? I just don’t trust it."

JJ’s lips twitched, very slightly, "You’re weird."

You turned to face her, “You like weird.” The second the words left your mouth, you wanted to throw yourself out of the car because what was that?

You shook your head, you can't be too familiar, too flirty, too-

JJ paused your thoughts halfway through as she leaned closer to you to get her bag from the backseat. She was close enough for you to catch the familiar scent of her perfume before she paused and looked at you, her expression perfectly unreadable, "I suppose I’ll have to," she said evenly, "considering we’re married."

Your brain stalled. Again.

She climbed out of the car before you had recovered enough to respond, leaving you scrambling after her with your own bag.

The moment she unlocked the front door, you stopped short. The house had been fully staged.

Photographs covered shelves, side tables and walls. Your favourite books sat neatly arranged on the bookcases as though they'd lived there for years. A pair of slippers rested beside the sofa.

It looked well and truly lived in.

Your eyes landed on a coffee mug sitting proudly on the kitchen counter.

World's Okayest Wife.

You picked it up, "Oh, Garcia." You sighed, quietly banishing it to the very back of the cupboard, to hopefully never be seen again. As you closed the cabinet, JJ appeared over your shoulder. Her laugh was soft, warm and entirely too amused.

"She’s enjoying this."

"She’s evil." You stepped back into the living room, "You know she made fake wedding photos?"

JJ froze, "What?"

You held up one framed photo. You and JJ, badly photoshopped into some random couple's wedding clothes, "It's horrifying."

JJ took the frame and studied it, "I think I look pretty good." She tilted it slightly before adding, almost thoughtfully, "You're not too bad yourself."

You choked, "That’s your takeaway?"

She shrugged, "They got my jawline right."

God, you needed a minute.

You left her looking at all the wedding photos and surveyed the house. What you saw didn't exactly settle you. You returned to JJ's side, a little frown on your face. She was looking through all the cupboards (and you couldn't help but notice that World's Okayest Wife mug was now front of the cabinet).

"There’s one bedroom." You blurted, glancing between her and the mug.

JJ glanced up, "Yes."

"Only one." You emphasised and she nodded, "You knew? One bed, JJ."

"Seems that way," She responded, sounding as calm as ever.

"That’s… less than ideal."

JJ crossed her arms, "Why is that?"

Your mouth opened, then closed. Then opened again because there were approximately six hundred answers to that question, and none of them were professional.

"I feel like HR would have something to say here, right?"

JJ raised one eyebrow, "We’re undercover."

"That doesn’t feel like it should be an official loophole," You grumbled.

A small smirk appeared, "There’s a couch."

You brightened, "Yes. Great. I’ll take it."

"No."

You paused, "No?"

JJ walked into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, crossing her legs, "You’re not sleeping on the couch."

"Why not?"

"Because you’ll complain about your back."

"I do not complain." JJ raised an eyebrow and you folded your arms, clearing your throat, "… That often."

"Exactly."

You narrowed your eyes, "So what’s your solution?"

She looked at the bed, then met your gaze again. "We share." She shrugged and you let your internal panic increase, only slightly. One bed... shared... with JJ... every night. What pyjamas had you packed again?

"Okay," you said, voice far too high. "Cool."

JJ’s mouth twitched, "You’re panicking."

"No, I’m not."

"You are."

"I’m just adapting is all." You shrugged as nonchalantly as you could, "You know, to married life... apparently."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Twenty minutes later, the first challenge arrived. The doorbell rang. You nearly jumped out of your skin.

Before this assignment, you would have described yourself as a relatively good profiler. Someone who was calm under pressure, good at thinking on your feet. Yet somehow a fake marriage had reduced you to someone who startled at a doorbell ringing.

"Neighbor." JJ said, over her shoulder.

Already? Jesus.

She opened the door to a woman in her fifties, who stood there holding muffins. Of course she had muffins, "Hello! You must be the new couple!"

Before you had a chance to react, JJ moved closer, one hand settling lightly against the small of your back.

Immediately, every functioning thought in your brain disappeared. The gesture was so natural that, for one impossible moment, you could almost believe this actually was your real life. That you came home to JJ every evening, stood beside her in your shared doorway and welcomed neighbours together, all casual.

JJ smiled at the woman, as if this came easy to her. It was like she’d been someone’s wife- your wife for years, "Hi," she said. "I’m Jennifer."

The woman beamed, then turned to you, "And you are?"

You opened your mouth but nothing came out. JJ’s thumb brushed lightly against your back. A reminder of what you were here to do. It felt grounding or overwhelming, depending on how you looked at it.

You cleared your throat, "I’m- yes. Hi. I’m... the wife. Of Jennifer." Oh my god, why would you say it like that? JJ's eyes sparkled with barely concealed amusement, and you hurried to recover, clearing your throat, "I'm Y/N."

The woman smiled wider, "Well, welcome! I’m Nancy from next door," and with that, she launched into neighborhood gossip immediately.

You did your best to follow along, nodding when appropriate, and trying to log all of this information in the event that it was important to your case. You did pretty well at pretending to listen, at least. Mostly you were focused on one thing.

JJ’s hand, still on your back, making thinking and focusing a very difficult job for you. It was quickly becoming way more overwhelming more than grounding.

Nancy finally smiled, "Well, I’ll let you settle in." Then she looked between you, "Oh! Before I forget, it's the neighborhood barbecue tomorrow."

JJ answered before you could, "We’ll be there." and with that, Nancy left. The second the door clicked, JJ’s hand dropped.

You swallowed. "That was…"

JJ turned, "Convincing, right?"

"It was something." You tried to agree, still thinking about JJ's touch and not wanting to burst her bubble. She had done a convincing job, at least, you were very convinced that you were totally in love, unfortunately.

"You did okay too... mostly," She teased.

You let out a grumble, "I'm a woman of many talents."

"Hmm, that you are." JJ laughed. And it hit you for a moment that this wasn't your work JJ, the Agent Jareau from meetings or press briefings or crime scenes. This was JJ at home, relaxed, letting her hair down.

It suited her.

Then JJ stepped closer, close enough that your breath caught, and her voice dropped, "For the record…"

You stopped breathing, "Yes?"

She leaned in slightly, so close you could feel her warmth, "I've never been Jennifer to you. You’re supposed to call me something like..."

JJ paused and you frowned, pushing her to finish her sentence, "What?"

"I don't know... baby?" Her eyes met yours, "My love? Love of my life?" You simply stared and she nodded her head to the door, "In front of the neighbors." she finished, as though that explained everything. She tilted her head. "Makes it more believable."

You were still trying to formulate a response when she turned and wandered into the kitchen.

Over her shoulder she called, "Try not to panic, sweetheart."

You stood frozen in the hallway. Oh. This mission was going to kill you.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

By day two, you had come to one very important conclusion. That was that fake dating JJ was significantly worse than you had anticipated.

Not because the cover was hard.

Actually, that was the problem because it wasn’t hard at all, it may have been the easiest 'relationship' you had ever been in.

The neighbourhood had accepted the two of you almost immediately. Apparently, convincing the locals that you were happily married required little more than sharing a mailbox, JJ resting a hand on the small of your back every so often, and calling you sweetheart in front of Nancy, repeatedly.

After all that, the grocery store should have been absolutely harmless.

Instead, you were learning that absolutely anything became dangerous once JJ decided to commit to the bit.

She pushed the cart with ease while you grabbed ingredients for dinner, a long list in your hand. You sighed, throwing a punnet of strawberries into the cart, "This is unnecessary." You complained, shaking the list in your hand. The list that still felt 100 items long. JJ didn’t even look up.

"We need groceries. Even just for a week."

"No, I mean the list." You shook it again, closer to her this time to really prove a point.

She finally glanced at the paper in your hand, "What about it?"

You waved it, "It's just so... coupley."

Her brow furrowed, "We are a couple." The two of you stared at each other fora few moments, seeing who would break first.

Then, a small smirk from JJ. You narrowed your eyes, "You’re enjoying this way too much." JJ shrugged, pushing the cart into the drinks aisle.

Five minutes later, you found yourself holding a family-sized bag of Cheetos in open disbelief, "No."

JJ glanced over, "What?"

You shook the packet at her, "Absolutely not."

"They’re good." She shrugged, grabbing some other items that were actually on the list.

"They are bright orange, dusty, radioactive snacks. Besides, we already have two bags at home."

"Yes."

"This ingredients list sounds illegal," You protested and placed them back on the shelf.

Without missing a beat, she put them into the trolley.

You took them out again.

She put them back.

You looked at her, "Jennifer."

Then, before you could answer, a voice cut through, "Nancy told me you two were adorable."

A woman from the neighbourhood (how many nosy women could live in this one neighbourhood?!) stood beside the produce display, smiling warmly at the pair of you.

Right, undercover.

You instantly softened your posture into fake-wife mode and before you could do anything else, JJ moved beside you. Her arm slipped around your waist.

The neighbor smiled wider, "How long have you two been together?"

Your mind immediately blanked, no matter how long you had been studying your case file. But JJ answered without hesitation, "Five years." Damnit, you so knew that. It was literally true in real life too.

The woman sighed dreamily, "That’s lovely."

JJ smiled, "It is. It really is."

Your heart performed several deeply unprofessional manoeuvres.

The woman looked at you, "And go on, what do you love most about her?"

What kind of question- you looked at JJ. Big mistake because she was already looking at you softly, patiently waiting. She was entirely too convincing.

God. Say something. Anything.

You swallowed, "She…" Your voice nearly failed you, "She makes everything feel easier." The woman visibly melted and JJ froze, just slightly, composure be damned.

You kept going because stopping felt worse, "She makes people feel safe," Your voice softened and your eyes are pulled to JJ's, "She remembers things everyone else misses."

JJ’s gaze changed and you registered something flickering across her face, something you couldn't quite name.

You panicked and recovered, clearing your throat, "Uh, she also steals snacks, so... she;s not always perfect. Right, babe?" You emphasised the last word that you had been amping yourself up to use, hoping it seemed natural.

The woman laughed and the cloud of tension broke, thank god. After another minute or two of conversation, she wished you both a good afternoon and wandered away. Silence settled between you.

JJ slowly lowered her arm from your waist. You hated noticing her absence, every single time.

Then, JJ spoke, quietly, "That was good." She nodded, more to herself than you.

You frowned, "What was?"

She looked at you, "What you said."

Oh, right, yes... that. You forced an awkward laugh, "Well. Had to sell it. Even got the pet name in, right?"

JJ held your gaze for half a second too long, then looked away. "Right."

Something about that felt strange, it was just a little bit too quiet.

You finished the shopping in separate aisles after that, both of you claiming efficiency when, in reality, neither of you seemed particularly interested in continuing the conversation. The drive back home passed in comfortable-ish silence.

Home. It felt weird how easy it was to say that after only 48 hours.

Dinner turned out to be exactly as dangerous as the supermarket had been. The kitchen was far too small and you both kept reaching for the same utensils. Every accidental touch lingered a little longer than it should have.

Night, however, was worse.

Because night meant bed. One bed. One shared bed. With JJ.

You stood frozen beside the mattress. JJ was already under the covers, relaxing, a book propped open between her thumb and finger.

You cleared your throat and JJ looked up, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I- I'm ready for bed so..." You shuffled on the spot for a moment before JJ pulled back the comforter and patted the empty space besider her.

"Come on in, then," You climbed into bed stiffly, trying your best to keep a very respectable amount of distance.

You ended up lying flat on your back with your hands folded neatly over your stomach. JJ glanced over and then laughed, actually laughed.

"What?"

"You look terrified."

"I’m just... sleeping professionally."

JJ smiled into her book, "That isn’t a thing."

Eventually, you both settled. Lights were turned off, a soft 'goodnight' was shared between the two of you and JJ's soft snores filled the room. You had a moment of feeling jealous at how easily she could fall asleep but, before the thought could be fully formed, you too were asleep.

Until something woke you. At first, you were too sleepy to think, the thick pull of sleep fogging your brain. You listened for any sounds but there was nothing unusual and so you opened your eyes to the pitch black. You went to turn on your bedside lamp but found you couldn't move properly. Ah, that would be what woke you, something was pinning you-

Then your brain caught up, oh no.

JJ was fully curled into your side. One arm was draped across your waist and her head was tucked against your shoulder.

You took a deep breath, careful not to wake her. Heat crept into your cheeks as one of her legs shifted against yours.

This was bad. This was so, so bad.

You were so, so screwed.

JJ mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep before snuggling even closer, somehow managing to eliminate the tiny sliver of space that had still existed between you.

You stared, eyes wide, into the darkness. There was no way you were going to be getting any more sleep tonight as your thoughts began to race.

Yes, you were completely, utterly screwed, always had been.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

By the morning of day four, you had slept maybe very little in this safe house. Most nights full of wide-eyed staring at the ceiling, contemplating it all.

JJ had spent most of every night wrapped around you. You'd gone from this is nice to this is a complete disaster sometime around three in the morning the first time it happened, and by sunrise there was no question which side had won.

The problem wasn't simply that you had feelings for JJ, that part wasn't exactly new. The problem was that pretending to be married had made everything catastrophically worse, because now you knew things.

Like how JJ frowned in her sleep and mumbled when she was having a nightmare.

You knew every part of her morning routine, from what songs she sung in the shower to how she took her toast.

Worst of all, you knew she somehow managed to look even prettier half asleep, with her hair a mess, her voice still thick with sleep and the morning light catching against warm skin.

Which all felt rather unfair, if you were being honest.

You were halfway through making coffee when Garcia’s alert sounded through your work phone, an urgent beeping that pulled both of you out of your peaceful morning routine.

"I’ve got movement." Garcia's words tumbled out, no sweet hello or time for any jokes. Every muscle in your body tensed and JJ was instantly as alert. Sleepy JJ vanished and Agent Jareau took her place.

"What do we have?"

"Black SUV." Garcia replied, "Same vehicle from the barbecue and the shopping centre. It's parked two houses down."

Hotch's voice followed a moment later, "He’s circling."

"JJ, Y/N, he's looking for routine," Rossi added. "Give him one."

Right, routine. The whole domesticity thing. Be a couple, bait him out.

JJ looked at you, and neither of you needed to say a word.

Showtime.

She reached for your hand without hesitation, her fingers slipping between yours as naturally as breathing. Your heart, even after all this time, still did something really unhelpful.

You stepped out onto the porch together with your usual coffee mugs in hand, 'World's Okayest Wife' still proudly on display.

"He's watching," Garcia said quietly through the earpiece the two of you had quickly popped in.

JJ shifted closer until her shoulder rested lightly against yours. Then she leaned in a little more, her side pressing gently against yours. You focused very hard on remembering how to breathe.

"Relax," she murmured into your ear.

You stared ahead, jaw clenched, "I am relaxed."

JJ’s thumb stroked lazily across your knuckles, "No, you’re not."

"I’m undercover relaxing." You gritted out, swearing in your head to never agree to this undercover shit again. Whilst you were vowing to commit to a life working at a desk, her shoulders shook. Was she... laughing? Now?

Psychopath.

"He's moving," Garcia warned. "Be careful."

You spotted him this time. He was in his late thirties, his cap pulled low and he was walking casually, too casually. It only made him stand out more.

Your stomach tightened.

The unsub slowed near your driveway. He was watching you, assessing his choices.

Watching.

Assessing.

JJ's fingers tightened around yours. Then, without warning, her free hand rose to your face. Before your brain had any chance of catching up, she pressed a soft kiss against your forehead.

Everything stopped. Your thoughts, your heartbeat. The world around you.

JJ had kissed your forehead.

It could have passed as something affectionate between close friends, or a simple gesture designed to sell the cover, but your heart wasn't interested in reasonable explanations.

All it knew was that JJ had kissed you.

"Breathe," she whispered. Right. Yeah, air might be important here.

Garcia’s voice sharpened, "There. A shift in expression."

"He's committed," Rossi confirmed.

"Stand by," Hotch ordered, "No one do anything stupid."

The unsub took another step, then another. Then, all of a sudden, he was too fast now. Something had changed and JJ felt it too.

You could feel the subtle change in her stance, her muscles tight, and then the unsub lurched forwards. Everything seemingly happened at once.

Your team roaring to life, the unsub sprinting towards you, knowing he had been caught and trying to make one last attempt at what he felt he needed to do.

His knife flashed in the morning light and your brain barely processed it. He was fast but JJ moved faster.

"Down!" JJ's shout came a split second before her hand slammed into your shoulder, shoving you firmly behind her. Your coffee mug slipped from your fingers, smashing against the porch as you stumbled backwards.

The knife swung and a sharp sting burned across your forearm.

Then, impact. Bodies crashed into the unsub, Morgan hitting into him like a truck, "FBI, put your hands where I can see them!"

Prentiss had his arm twisted back in seconds and the knife clattered across the concrete.

The case was over, just like that.

But none of that registered immediately because JJ was turning to you, her face stripped of every trace of composure. There was none of her usual calm or focus, just pure terror, "Were you hurt?" Her voice had raised an octave and it came out loud, harsh.

You blinked, "I-"

She was already checking you over, her hands moving across your shoulders, your arms, your face, searching for injuries you couldn't even think about yet.

"Are you hurt?" Her voice was sharper now. Breathless. You looked down and saw the thin cut that crossed your forearm, blood beginning to gather around the edges.

It wasn't deep, in fact barely more than a scratch but JJ clearly disagreed. Whatever composure she’d had disappeared, "Shit." she breathed out, gently curling her fingers around your arm. Her hold was careful but her jaw was tight enough you were afraid she may crack a tooth.

"JJ..."

"Why didn’t you move?"

You stared at her, "What?"

"You froze," her voice shook, only slightly, but noticeably enough.

"I didn’t- I didn’t see him."

JJ exhaled sharply, the sound carrying far more fear than anger. Then before you could say anything, she pulled you into her.

Your breath caught. One arm around your shoulders. One hand at the back of your head. Shielding you, holding you. You could hear the uneven rhythm of her breathing, "I've got you."

Nothing about this felt fake because nobody said that unless they meant it, not the way she had said it anyway.After several long seconds, JJ seemed to realise what she was doing. Her body stiffened, then she slowly stepped back. The warmth disappeared.

Agent Jareau returned. She was professional, composed, controlled.

As though the last thirty seconds hadn't happened.

As though she hadn't looked at you like the thought of losing you had terrified her.

She cleared her throat, didn’t meet your eyes.

"We should get that bandaged."

And just like that...

The distance returned.

Which somehow hurt more than the cut ever could.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The cut on your arm barely needed three stitches, three. That was it. Only three tiny stitches and a bandage. For four days of undercover work, you considered that a fairly decent outcome.

Morgan and Prentiss, naturally, disagreed. The pair of them had spent the better part of the last hour mocking your 'war wound,' while your own thoughts had remained stubbornly fixed on two things.

JJ had kissed your forehead.

And the I've got you.

You sat in the passenger seat on the drive back to the safe house, staring out the window while those two moments replayed on an endless loop.

The forehead kiss and then the way she had looked at you afterwards. The fear in her voice. After that, the distance she'd thrown between you almost immediately afterwards.

It left you with one impossible question. Either JJ felt something real...

...or she was the greatest actress alive.

Neither possibility was particularly comforting.

The rest of the team seemed to sense that neither of you was in the mood for company. Suspiciously, they all found reasons to disappear.

Even Rossi had given you that infuriating expression older people perfected, the one that suggested he knew exactly what was happening without anyone saying a word.

Traitors, every last one of them.

You decided to leave them to it and headed upstairs with your duffel bag, telling yourself you were packing. In reality, you folded the same three shirts over and over again. An excellent use of FBI time and resources.

Your arm stung when you moved too quickly. It wasn't enough to hurt, but just enough to remind you of her hands, her voice. I’ve got you.

God.

You needed this mission to end.

So when footsteps sounded in the doorway, your entire body tensed before you even looked up. Because of course it was Jennifer Jareau.

She leaned against the bedroom door for a moment, quietly watching you before crossing the room. Without saying anything, she picked up one of your shirts, folded it neatly and placed it beside your bag.

"You’re packing... aggressively."

You didn’t look up. Instead, you picked up the freshly folded shirt, stuffed it into the bag and pulled the zip closed with considerably more force than necessary.

"I'm tired." You shrugged, "It's... I didn't really sleep last night. Or any night for that matter."

JJ didn’t move, so you moved around her, dropping your bag at the doorway of your bedroom and hovering over it, "Yeah, you’ve been tired a lot." She sat on the bed, hands fiddling with the edge of the blanket, seemingly hinting at something.

Your jaw tightened, "Maybe because I’m really just... tired."

"No," The answer came immediately, a certainty in her voice, "No, that’s not it." You let out a sigh and she lifted her chin, eyes connecting with yours, then, "You’re avoiding me."

That snapped something in you and you straightened up, scoffing, "Funny." You murmured.

JJ frowned, "What’s funny?"

"You tell me," You laughed once, a little sharp laugh, "No, go on. Tell me more about avoiding people."

Her expression changed very slightly but enough, "Don’t do that."

"Do what?" You challenged, the lack of sleep and sudden lack of adrenaline leaving you with no ability to actually think before speaking.

"This," she gestured at you and you stood, bag forgotten now.

"What, like you? Doing this thing where you act like nothing happened?" JJ went still and your heart pounded in your chest. You were committing to this then. Great. Another terrible idea but too late now to stop. "The case is over, JJ."

She said nothing so you kept going.

"No more neighbors."

Silence.

"No more fake marriage."

Her jaw tightened.

"No more pretending."

And that landed, hard. You saw it in the way her shoulders stiffened before she slowly stood.

She stood up and, very quietly, spoke, "Is that what you think?"

You swallowed, "What else am I supposed to think?"

JJ stared at you for long enough to make your skin feel too tight, then she pushed off from the bed, towards you. One step at a time, getting closer until barely any space remained between you.

"You think I kissed your forehead because of the case?"

Your breath caught because, oh, she was angry. Not even a loud angry but worse, a quiet angry. You went to speak but she moved even closer and you stopped.

"You think I held you like that because Hotch told me to?"

Another step.

"You think I nearly lost my mind over three stitches because I’m committed to my undercover work?"

Your pulse hammered.

"JJ..."

"No," She shook her head and now she just looked frustrated. Whether it was at you, at herself, or at everything, you couldn't tell, "No, because I need to understand how someone as smart as you missed something this obvious."

You blinked, "What?"

JJ exhaled hard, as if she was trying to hold something back but then she clearly decided she was done trying. Her voice dropped, "I wasn’t acting."

You stared because surely... surely- no, "I…" Your voice barely worked. "You weren’t?"

JJ laughed once, almost offended, "No." She watched your expression for a long moment before something softer replaced the frustration.

You swallowed, hard, "JJ…"

She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head, "You really didn’t know?"

Your silence clearly answered her question and her shoulders dropped ever so slightly. She'd truly thought you knew.

"You..." Your voice barely worked. "You love me?"

JJ went completely still, processing the fact you had finally put a name to this all-consuming wall of emotion. She held your gaze and for the first time since you’d known her... JJ looked well and truly nervous.

Then, quietly, "Always have."

You frowned, "Always?"

A quiet laugh escaped her, "You’re really stuck on that word."

"JJ." Your voice held a small warning, you didn't want to go off track now. No joking, just the truth that both of you had kept to yourselves for far too long.

She smiled, a small, warm (but slightly embarrassed) smile, "First week you joined the BAU, five years ago."

"What?!"

JJ’s smile widened just a little, "You wore mismatched socks."

You blinked. Twice, "And that’s when you fell in love with me?"

She shrugged one shoulder, almost casually, like she hadn't just changed your entire life, "I admit that I loved you." A beat, "I didn’t say I had sensible reasons."

You crossed the remaining distance before thinking, your hands finding her face. Warm skin and wide eyes.

Then, you kissed her. It was soft at first, almost like you couldn't believe this was finally happening. It was as if you needed some kind of confirmation that this was actually real.

JJ kissed back instantly, no hesitation or second thought, and that was confirmation enough for you.

Her hands found your waist, careful of your injured arm, always protective, same old JJ.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathing hard, forehead resting against forehead.

You smiled, "So..."

JJ smiled back, "So."

"I spent four days having a nervous breakdown for nothing?"

She laughed, "It wasn't for nothing."

"No?"

She shook her head, "I got to call you baby without you reporting me to HR."

You groaned, "I was almost considering it."

"I know."

"What happens now?"

JJ's smile softened, "I was thinking we try this whole dating thing."

You stared at her, "We've basically skipped to year five. I mean, we've even survived married life." You held your ring finger up to her, still adorned with the wedding band Penelope had thrown at you days ago.