#flowerdancer

Lost Relationships Story No. 10, Part 1

“[My grandma] had a stroke. She'd had diabetes. I think around forty or fifty she was diagnosed with Type 2. And then when she actually had a stroke and they actually did all the testing, they found out she had Type 1. She had had it her whole life and nobody knew. It just eventually took a toll. She kept having little mini-strokes.... And she ended up having one massive stroke. It left her brain pretty much mush; she was a child, basically. So the left side of her was paralyzed.

After my grandma got sick, we realized things weren't getting taken care of in their house, so like, their bills weren't getting paid, nothing was happening... So they ended up losing their house and having to short-sell it and move in with my mom. They took over the master bedroom. All of us were still living there, except for my brother; my brother was married. There was four girls, and my mom... how did we even do that? I don't even remember, to be honest. My mom has a four-bedroom, but it's tiny.

My mom has been single since I was like six-years-old and she's had five kids by herself. Actually, she found out she was pregnant with my little sisters, the twins, after she filed for divorce.... Life was crazy then. But that's when my grandma was there all the time....So I lived by her my whole life pretty much. She was kind of like a co-parent, basically. I would spend almost every day there.

And it's so funny because my girls have the same relationship with my mom....They just love her to pieces. I love it, probably because I experienced the same thing, I'm assuming. I just think there's something about her, because both of my girls are just crazy for her....She's good at being a grandma.

[My grandma] ended up passing away, it was kind of just random. There was nothing that really did it.

When she died, it was a lot of mixed emotions. It was good, because man, it was rough. She was a 24/7 job. She wasn't, obviously, well. She didn't have much life other than sitting in her chair pretty much all day. And so, at first it became a relief. But then grief hit really fast. It was really intense. You know how there's like stages of grief, where you go through like, sadness, and then you get kind of angry...

I miss her guidance. I think she absolutely represents my childhood, which was carefree and loving. She was a nurturer. So I have this huge piece of me that did all those did all of those things for me gone

Once she died, they lost that house where we had all of our Thanskgivings and Christmases with all of our extended family. Super sad, because the people that are there now completely trashed it. And a piece of me really and truly one of these days, we want to get together and buy it back, because it was that important to us.

Cheeseburgers were her favorite food of all time. Out of anything and everything, a good cheeseburger  made her life. We do this thing every year, we go to Frost Top, because Frost Top was her favorite place, for the day that she died and then for her birthday.

When she first died, I could only remember her the way she was then. It was really hard for me. That was part of my [anger]. I was like, I don't want this to be my last memory of my grandma. I don't want to remember my grandma as completely disabled. But as time has gone on, I kind of go back to childhood memories and now, where, yes, I remember how she was, but it's not the first thing I think of anymore.”

It seems fitting to share this story today, as it’s “Grandma’s” birthday today, and yes, her family did celebrate with cheeseburgers at Frost Top. 

When I asked what photo I should include with the story, this was the reply, “A red rose. A picture of a red rose. :-) She loooved red roses. She was also a dancer with my grandpa.” And this was the picture she chose to include.