#fixup-aheart

“Niall!” Liam weaves his way through the crowd in frantic desperation and grabs for BatNiall, but even though he’s trying to shout over the chorus of whatever mindless song is playing, his efforts are proving futile. Niall thankfully recognizes him and pulls him into a drunk hug, almost toppling both of them over onto the carpet.

“Liam, this is the best party ever,” Niall whispers into his ear gleefully. His words are slurred together. “We should have parties like this all the time.”

Liam untangles the two of them with a grimace. “Uh, no, no, we shouldn’t. Look, have you seen Renee? She’s gonna murder me when she sees all this.” Liam stops to contemplate this. Ree won’t just murder him. She’ll positively obliterate him. He makes a mental note to start removing sharp objects around the house before she gets back - if she’s not already back, that is. Oh, God.

“Would you stop worrying?” Niall throws his arm around Liam again - he’s an affectionate drunk, which would be fine if he didn’t stink of alcohol - and turns him to face the party. “Just live in the moment. Take in the beautiful sight of what you’ve created.”

Spider-Man stumbles past them, tripping over the couch and hollering some nonsense about “super Spidey powers.” Liam gulps.

This is not what he had planned for tonight.

 +

  Liam met her in the fall. The leaves were yellow and her hair was soft. He was walking to his first class of the day - he had fifteen minutes to spare and was taking in the beauty of the golden brown sheen of autumn, so he almost didn’t see her.

See, Renee’s from New York, and she’s since explained to Liam time and time again that New Yorkers have a certain way of walking. “We have places to go and deadlines to meet,” she’d insist, eyes wide and hand gestures aplenty. “All you people walk way too slow. You’ve gotta have a brisk pace”– here she’d snap her fingers twice to emphasize her point– “and for the love of God, stop swinging your arms everywhere. They’re just getting in everyone’s way.” (This would usually be the point where Liam would kiss her on the nose and tell her how cute she was when she got worked up.)

So Renee was taking her “brisk pace” to a socio lecture, and Liam was busy dawdling in front of the academic building, trying to decide if the leaves were more “crisp gold” or “butter yellow” and, well. You can probably guess what happened next.

Liam suddenly found himself on the steps with scraped elbows and someone else’s hair in his mouth, two hands that were not his digging into his hips.

He spat out the hair. Everything hurt. He glanced at the trees again in a daze, settling on “crisp gold.”

“God, would you watch where you’re going?” Her voice startled him, loud and unapologetic and American. The blonde girl pushed herself up with a huff and and checked her watch that was so large and heavy-looking, Liam was impressed she was able to lift her wrist. “Great, I’m never gonna make it now.”

Liam coughed, still sprawled on the concrete. “Er, sorry?”

She spared him a glance and blushed, seeming to realize her attitude. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Need help?”

He took the hand she offered and stood. The world spun in the wrong direction. Liam’s stomach clenched.

“Did I hit my head?” he murmured, but the words sounded slower than he intended.

“Yeah, think so.” She didn’t let go of his hand and pulled him along with her. “Come on. Let’s get you some help.”

As their hands remained intertwined, Liam thought briefly of his girlfriend Sandra, who would not be happy to see her boyfriend leaning on another girl. He shoved the thought away. It was giving him a headache, but then again, so did everything with Sandra.

“I’m Liam,” he told the girl instead. “The leaves are a crisp gold.”

She laughed. “Yeah, sure, buddy. I’m Renee.”

 +

  “Liam!” Liam turns to see a wide-eyed (and surprisingly sober) Louis wading through the crowd of costumed drunkards. When he finally gets to the other side, he’s breathing heavily and wiping a sheen of sweat off his lightning-scarred forehead.

“What’s up?” Liam asks, now that they can properly hear each other. Niall left him to his own devices a few minutes before, following after a scantily-clad police officer girl. “And why did you draw that on your face?” He gestures to the Sharpie scar.

“Walking in here was like parting the bloody Red Sea,” Louis quips, still catching his breath. “And, I mean, you didn’t tell me this was gonna be a costume party. I had to improvise.”

“But it’s not a costume party,” he moans. “That’s the whole problem.”

“I mean, all things considered, I’d say it’s a smashing success, mate.”

“All things considered?” Liam says. He’s still on edge after thinking about Renee turning up soon and seeing this whole mess.

“Right… we’ve got a bit of a situation.”

Liam’s about to hyperventilate.

“A situation? We don’t have time for a situation!” he hisses. Louis holds up his hands in protest. “We need to kick everyone out.”

“Yeah,” Louis replies vaguely, looking over Liam’s shoulder at something.

“What’s the situation?”

Louis grabs for Liam’s shoulders and turns him around to face the east wall of the house. Right before the staircase is a huge, gaping hole in the plaster. Louis grins sheepishly at Liam’s jaw drops.

“Harry and Zayn were joking around,” he tells Liam weakly. “Their roughhousing just got a bit… rough.”

“Oh my God.”

Liam’s phone buzzes. Unable to form any more words, he ignores Louis and pulls it out to see a new message from Renee: “Almost home, we better have ice cream in the freezer…”

He whimpers. “Please tell me we have ice cream in the freezer.”

Louis bites his lip. “Funny story - Zayn’s kind of a hungry drunk, and–”

Liam turns to look at the hole in the wall again. He should probably start choosing a quote for his epitaph.

 +

  After their spectacular crash, Liam suddenly saw Renee everywhere. She was in the dining hall at meals, she went to the same clubs Niall dragged him to, she was always sat on the second floor of the library with her socio books taking up half the table space.

And they became friends. Really good friends. Apparently she’d been highly amused by his concussion-induced mumblings and, well, they just hit it off.

Of course, his girlfriend wasn’t a member of the Renee Fawcett Fan Club.

“I don’t think Sandra likes me very much,” Renee admitted to Liam on their nightly walk back from the library. “She was hanging out with the girls on my floor last night and she gave me the look.”

“Look?” Liam laughed. “What look?”

“Oh, come on, you know which one I’m talking about. The ‘he’s-my-property-so-back-off-bitch’ look.” She demonstrated and Liam shivered from the accuracy. It was a look he’d seen many a time before, toward pretty much every girl Sandra saw him with - even his sisters.

“You just gotta try to be friends with her, Ree,” he told her earnestly, pulling her to a stop with one hand so they didn’t get run over by the squirrel dashing across their path. “I want you guys to like each other.” He really, really did. Sandra was his girlfriend and Ree was his… friend. They had to like each other if he wanted to keep his sanity.

She sighed, ever the drama queen, but Liam could tell that was her way of giving in. “Fine,” she groaned. “But if she’s mean to me, I’m not gonna take her shit.”

Liam grimaced. “Well, sorry, ‘cos she’s kinda mean to everyone.”

“No kidding. Why are you dating her again?” Renee turned to him curiously and under the streetlight, her hair glowed lighter. Liam’s mouth ran dry.

“Uh,” he said. “I don’t really know.”

Renee frowned at that, but didn’t say anything. They kept walking.

He broke up with Sandra the next day. She ambushed him in his room that morning and he just did it. It was painful. There was screaming. Liam’s pretty sure the people who lived next door are still holding a grudge about the noise. But that was it. It was done, and Liam was finally headache-free. He wanted to tell someone. No, not someone. He wanted to tell Renee.

He was waiting on the steps where they met when she came out of her last class. She was walking fast again, and he had to shoot his arm out to stop her because she wouldn’t’ve seen him otherwise. She grinned at him.

“Hey, Li,” she said. “What’s up?”

“I did it,” he said breathlessly.

“Did what?” “Broke up with Sandra,” he said impatiently, practically bouncing on his heels. It was a good day, he thought.

“You–” Renee paused for a moment, then launched herself into his arms so quick that he stumbled back to catch her. It caught Liam so off guard that it actually took him a moment to realize she was kissing him.

Oh. Today was a good day.

He hadn’t even thought about it, about him and Ree. They’d become pretty good friends, and sure, he couldn’t deny that she was beautiful and mature and all of that, but they’d been friends. Except now her lips were really soft and she smelled really good, and yeah. Maybe he could see this.

He was about to try kissing her back when she pulled away suddenly, untangling herself from his arms and straightening. She was blushing. Liam thought it was strange; he’d never seen smart, powerful Renee Fawcett look flustered before.

“Oh my God,” she said.

“Wow,” he said.

“I’m sorry–”

“Wow.”

“I didn’t mean - I just thought–”

“Renee.”

“You probably–”

“Renee!”

She shut up and looked at him in apprehension. Liam’s post-Sandra smile had been big, but now his cheeks were hurting with how wide his grin was. “Would you want to get coffee right now?”

Renee paused, then cleared her throat and smoothed her hair down, her face still tinged pink. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.”

And that was the beginning.

 +

 Liam’s halfway between the kitchen and the garage, trying to find something, anything to at least hide the stupid hole in the wall when, inexplicably, the doorbell rings. He stops in his tracks and looks around him like he’s waiting for someone else to answer it before remembering that this is his house and he’s not having some weird dream, so he goes to open it.

“Trick or treat!” The people accost him as soon the door opens more than a centimetre, and he suddenly realizes that Halloween means little children roaming the streets for candy. Candy that he doesn’t have, mind you.

“Uh, hello,” he stammers, taking in the Anna and Elsa pair who can’t be more than seven. A woman stands behind them, obviously exhausted.

“Do you have any Mars bars?” Elsa inquires with wide eyes.

The mother sighs. “Honey, you can’t be picky with candy. The man is nice enough to give you any at all–”

“Er,” Liam interrupts, rather awkwardly at that. “I might have ‘em, actually. Would you just - just give me one second, please, ma’am.” He means to walk away quickly, but in doing so he accidentally slams the door in their faces. Well. Manners are really the least of his issues tonight, he supposes.

Heading to the kitchen, he shooes out a couple of people rummaging the fridge and then yanks open the pantry and starts pulling out things left and right.

“You alright, mate?” Liam looks up in the middle of shoving aside a bag of crisps to see Harry leaning against the counter and regarding him curiously.

“No,” he answers honestly before returning to the task at hand. “I thought Ree bought chocolate the other day, but I can’t seem to - aha!” Liam grabs for the slightly smushed, single Mars bar at the bottom of pantry and holds it up.

“Got the munchies?” Harry sounds amused. This is definitely not the time to be amused.

“There are bloody trick-or-treaters banging down my door,” Liam grumbles, even though only one group had shown up. “And I’ve got nothing to give them besides this.”

Harry chuckles. “Want some help? You look like you could use a breather.”

Liam may faint from gratitude, though he’s sure that won’t help anyone. “Thank you, mate. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, but calm down a bit, would ya? It’s just a Halloween party. It’s like this marriage has aged you ten years.”

“I resent that.”

Harry begins breaking the bar into smaller, slightly melted pieces. Liam grimaces; he’s sure the mother won’t be too pleased, but fuck if he cares at this point. He leaves Harry standing by the front door where he can hear him giving out candy.

“Ooh, Elsa is my favorite princess. Two pieces for you - oh, don’t be sad, Anna, you can have some, too! Oh yes, of course we’ll be mindful about the music, ma’am, I’ll just tell my friend to keep it down - would you like some chocolate as well?”

 +

  They got married young. People act surprised when they hear about it, but Liam thinks that’s ridiculous, because they should’ve seen it coming. It was supposed to happen, supposed to be ReneeandLiam Forever since they first bumped into each other.

Toward the end of their final year in uni, his parents bought him a tiny two-bedroom house not far from London. His folks were pretty well off, so to them it hadn’t seemed like such a big deal, but every time Niall laments his awful roommate, or Harry skips plans to take up extra shifts at work so he can pay his rent for that month, Liam feels grateful. And, of course, it gave him and Renee a place to start raising their family.

Not that they’d talked about raising a family yet. He’s hopeful, though.

Anyway, it was like everything fell into place that June. He got his English degree, he had a home and an internship at a publishing company lined up in the city, and there was a diamond ring hiding at the bottom of his sock drawer.

Of course, things couldn’t always go as planned.

When Liam got home from the gym one night, he was exhausted and had been craving one of his mother’s infamous chocolate chip cookies all day, but his parents were away on some oldies cruise and Renee didn’t bake. He shut the front door gently behind him and trudged up the steps to his room, rolling his head to try and get the kinks out of his neck.

When he walked in, he was expecting to maybe see Renee watching the telly in her pajamas. He was not expecting her to be standing near his open dresser, jumping guiltily as he entered the room and clutching a box to her chest.

Liam’s heart seized up in his chest. This wasn’t supposed to go like this. He had a reservation planned at their favorite Italian place for next Friday, and he was supposed to wear his best suit, and she would be in some nice dress. They were supposed to come back to rose petals on the mattress and slow dance to a Sinatra song. She was not supposed to have found it on her own, and he was not supposed to have messy, sweaty hair and basketball shorts - or, oh God, what if he had pit stains?

“Sorry,” Ree exclaimed, dropping the box on the floor by accident. “I just - I don’t know, I was looking for a pair of your boxers to put on and then I went searching through and I just… I found that.” She pointed helplessly to the offending piece of jewelry. Liam’s mouth went dry.

“Um.” Coherent thought was coming much slower to his brain than it should’ve been.

“Liam?” The look on her face was unreadable and he knew she was waiting for him to ask. He wasn’t sure if she looked like a girl who would say yes. He knelt to the floor, never breaking eye contact with her, and grabbed the ring. He stayed on his knee.

Okay. Deep breath.

“Renee,” he began. “I know that we’re pretty young. And I know that people may not agree with this decision, but I love you.”

She nodded.

“So… will you–”

“Yes.” The answer shot out of her mouth before Liam even finished, sure and confident. “Yes, I will.”

“Really?” he asked dumbly. What had just happened?

“Yes.” She was grinning now, nodding like a maniac and he shot to his feet.

“Really?!” The weight of her answer suddenly hit him in the chest, but he felt fine. Great, even. He felt like he could fucking fly to the moon and back without stopping to take a breath.

“Yes!” she squealed. She reached for him and their lips collided, both of them giggling like teenagers too much to actually kiss.

“Oh my God, we’re getting married,” he whispered. “We’re getting married.”

The wedding was small, a short event at a local church. Their small group of friends tagged along, and Liam’s parents, too.

They haven’t talked to Renee’s parents since the engagement.

(Liam knows they disapprove of her getting married so young. And he knows that she misses them, knows that at the beginning, she cried at night when she thought he was asleep.

It makes him feel like he’s not doing the whole husband thing right.)

But that was that - Renee Fawcett became Renee Payne, and they didn’t have a honeymoon because they couldn’t afford to, so they spent the next day together at home and baked cookies and watched Disney movies together.

The next morning was Monday, though, so they woke up at six and got dressed for work and were suddenly thrown into married life, rings on their fingers only two days and barely twenty-three years of life behind them.

 +

 “Liam!”

He’s starting to learn that nothing good can come from someone yelling his name.

“Liam?” It’s Harry this time, Harry who’s thankfully not in some weird costume (or maybe he is, actually. Harry’s got a right wacky fashion sense. Liam can never tell). “Why are you hiding in Renee’s office?”

“Because it’s the one place that hasn’t been destroyed yet,” Liam replies. It’s true; Ree’s downstairs office is actually a closet with delusions of grandeur, so most people passed over it. There’s a desk and a folding chair and that’s about it, but Ree says she can focus better in here and Liam doesn’t question it. Harry steps inside, but there’s not a ton of room for more than one person and maybe a small child.

“Renee’s almost home,” Liam says miserably. Harry nods.

“Sorry about your wall,” he says. “I’m not really sober, to be honest.”

Liam laughs without humor. “That’s alright. I’m dead anyways. Can’t get much worse than this.”

“How did it even get this bad in the first place?”

“Renee’s birthday is on Halloween, you know that.” Harry nods in affirmation and Liam continues, “So I was gonna have a few people over to surprise her, nothing fancy. It wasn’t even gonna have anything to do with Halloween and then - well, Niall.”

Harry laughs. “It’s always Niall, isn’t it?”

“I told him about it and he must’ve misunderstood and thought it was a Halloween party or some big thing, and… word got out. Point is, I wanted to do something nice for Ree, y’know? She had to work on her birthday, and she’s probably really stressed, and the last thing she wants to come home to is all of this and her child husband.”

“You sound like you could use a beer.”

“No, I’d be in even more trouble.”

“Thought you were dead anyways.” Harry smirks. Liam lets out a laugh, but shakes his head again.

“D’you think you could help me get these people out of my house?” It’s worth a shot.

Harry snorts. “I’m already on candy duty, now you want me to do this, too?”

“You’re hardly on candy duty. You abandoned your post to come pester me,” Liam retorts.

Harry claps a hand on his back. “I’ll try my best, but no promises.” Liam sighs. His phone buzzes again.

“Yeah. Thanks anyway.”

This isn’t the first time Liam’s messed up - no, there was the time he forgot to lock the door when he got home from work and somebody broke in in the middle of the night, and there was the time he forgot to tell Ree his parents were popping by for a visit and they got caught doing… you know, and there was the time Sandra tried to get back together with him (they don’t talk about this one) - but he’s praying to every deity up there that this won’t be the last straw for Renee.

 +

  Setting up the party was supposed to be fun.

There were two party-size crisps bags, three bottles of wine, and a DVD copy of Insidious, which for some reason is Renee’s favorite movie (Liam doesn’t understand her affinity for horror movies, but it usually ends with them cuddling, so he really can’t complain). The boys and a few of their other uni friends were supposed to come over, and they would be classy and talk about work and the future and the past and whatever. And then they would all leave and he could snuggle up on the couch with Ree and watch horror movies, and then they’d go upstairs and… well, you know.

“Liam, where d’ya want this?” He was snapped out of his reverie by Louis, who was holding a tin of biscuits; Liam suspected Louis’ girlfriend had once again shown off her knack for baking.

“Coffee table’s fine,” he said genially, busying himself with fluffing up the pillows a bit. Zayn and Max, another uni alum, were attempting to hang a shiny “Happy Birthday” banner over the living room, but Max was a bit taller so they couldn’t get it quite straight.

“Ree has no idea yet, does she?” Lou asked.

Liam grinned like a little kid; he still couldn’t quite believe he’d managed to pull this off. “None at all. She’ll probably be proper tired when she gets off work, but once she sees all this, she’ll be so surprised she may fall over. In a good way, of course.”

Louis set down the biscuits on the island in the kitchen. “Hey, has Niall arrived yet? Said he was coming when I talked to him earlier today.”

“Um, I think–”

As if on cue, the door swung open dramatically - because Niall would never do anything in a mundane manner. And, oh yeah, he was dressed as Batman, so there was that, too.

“Oh, hey! How are you, mate?” Zayn called from the living room, as if it was not abnormal to see Niall dressed as a superhero - which to be fair, it probably wasn’t.

“M’good, you?” Niall grinned. Liam gaped at him for a moment before collecting himself.

“Er, Niall?”

“Yeah - ah, Liam!” Niall bounded over and pulled him into a hug, his cape covering the two of them. “You excited for tonight?”

“I mean… yeah, sure,” Liam responded hesitantly. “But why are you dressed like that?”

Niall looked down at his attire. “Why aren’t you dressed like this?” was his response.

“What are you talking about, mate?” Louis asked the question that seemed to be on everyone’s mind.

“Well… it’s a Halloween party.” Niall chuckled. “Generally, you wear costumes to those sorts of things.”

Liam’s eyes widened. “It’s not a Halloween party.”

“Sure it is, mate. At least, that’s what I’ve told everyone, so it will be.” The stupid smile was still on his face; Liam felt his blood freeze.

“Everyone?” he hissed. “What do you mean by ‘everyone’?”

Niall apparently started to get that he’d done something wrong. Liam was just understanding what was about to happen. He checked the clock. Ree would be home in maybe an hour. Somehow he felt that wouldn’t be enough time to clean up Niall’s mistake.

Niall opened his mouth right as the door banged open again. In walked two people Liam had never seen before; two rather large men dressed like the main characters from White Girls.

“Hey, we’re the first ones!” one of them said, carrying two six-packs of beer with him. “Let’s get this party started!”

Niall whooped and headed for the sound system Liam had set up when they first moved in. Louis raised an eyebrow and reached for a biscuit, offering one to Liam who chewed it numbly.

Something was about to go horribly, horribly wrong.

 +

  “Heyo!” someone says, then belches. Of course it’s Niall again. Liam sighs.

“What now?” He’s really dreading the answer.

“You gotta see this,” is his reply, an evil laugh bubbling up out of his throat.

“What now?” Liam repeats in a moan of despair. Isn’t he supposed to have a guardian angel or something? Isn’t that how it works in movies? Where’s Louis? He was sober earlier, right?

“Somebody puked all over your bathroom floor,” Niall yells over his shoulder as they barely avoid colliding with two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. “It’s sick, all green and stuff.”

Liam can physically feel his hair turning grey.

BatNiall tugs on his arm with way too much excitement for someone who’s pulling him along to see a puddle of vomit. They rush up the stairs and they pass his room and - oh, god, are people on his bed? The one he set up all nice with fluffed pillows for later with Renee? But then the room passes in a flash and they’re about to head into the bathroom and–

“Liam?”

Everything freezes.

Everything freezes and that’s how he knows it’s her standing behind him, because she’s always had that effect. She’s always been able to slip herself into the spaces in his life and grab his world like it’s a spinning globe, like it’s that easy to just hold it in place and suspend time. She’s scary and beautiful like that and Liam turns to face her.

“Ree!” he blurts. “Hi, babe.”

“Liam, what is this?” she asks. She’s still dressed in her clothes from work, jacket folded neatly over her arm. Liam gapes at the party around them and turns to his side for support, but Niall’s scampered off somewhere again. Typical. Liam bitterly hopes the guy slips in the vomit-puddle.

“Happy birthday?” he tries weakly, holding up his hands. The door to their bedroom bangs open again and oh, look, it’s a flustered Elvis Presley and Katniss Everdeen. Great.

Renee’s eyes widen. Liam audibly gulps. Time for damage control.

“Okay, look, I can explain this!” he begins wildly, throwing out his arms to try and make her understand. “Just don’t be mad, alright? I-I’ll fix it, I swear! I just… I was gonna throw this party for your birthday but then Niall told people it was for Halloween and you weren’t supposed to see any of this, Ree, I just–” Liam cuts himself off, blushing like he’s a schoolboy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Renee gets a look on her face, a strange one that he likens to her concentrated expression. But she also looks a little… hurt?

He’s not sure what it means, but he knows what her next action means. Renee abruptly turns on her heel and darts down the stairs and out the door.

Well, shit.

 +

  There’s a park at the corner, and although it’s much quieter than the house, the faint sound of pumping music can still be heard. Liam wonders if the neighbors will hate him even more for it after tonight, but he can’t be bothered to fix that right now. He kicks leaves out of his path and keeps walking, seeing her figure perched on the swingset next to the slide.

He knew she would come here. They pass the park on their morning jog every Sunday, and one night after a particularly nasty phone call with her mum, he’d found her here, half-asleep and shivering, but refusing to leave. It’s her new safe haven. But Liam’s heard that people can be safe havens, too. It pains him a bit that he can’t be hers, especially if she is his.

“Ree?” he calls out, stumbling as he enters and almost tripping into the fence. She looks up at her name and sighs when she sees him, slumping down further on the swing.

“Hi, Li.” She sounds tired. Looks it, too - her makeup is smudged and her eyelids drooping. He walks up in front of her and grabs the chains on each side so he can look down into her eyes.

They both start to speak. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” they both reply.

Liam shuts his mouth and Renee says, “Why’re you sorry?”

“Um.” He’s not quite sure how to go about this. “I thought… I mean, I threw a party that almost trashed the house. Inadvertently, but still. The damage is done.”

Renee opens her mouth and then Liam realizes he’s not finished. “And - there’s more - I’m sorry that I forget to set the table sometimes and I’m sorry I don’t like the music you listen to and I’m sorry I’m the reason you keep fighting with your parents and I’m sorry for all the things I keep doing and I’m sorry I’m a failure as a husband.”

“What?” she says. Whoa. It’s really out there. He really said it, all the fears he’s been curling up to his chest and pushing aside. It’s all out there.

“Liam,” Renee continues. She looks at him like he’s from Mars. “Li, you are the furthest thing from a failure. You know that, right?”

He sighs. “You don’t have to–”

“No, no, clearly I do.” She shakes her head and takes one of his hands so it’s sitting on her palms instead of wrapped around the chain. She holds it tight and her lip trembles. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

He’s about to point out that, actually, she should be the least sorry person in the world, but she barrels on. “I’m sorry that I’m the failure here. I mean…” She hesitates. “No husband deserves to be scared of their wife. I’m sorry for that.”

Liam bends down so he’s eye level with her. “What are you talking about, Ree? I’m not scared of you. I love you.”

“I-I know, but you are. I mean, you were afraid I wouldn’t let you throw a party. You’re twenty-three, Liam. You’re supposed to be throwing parties and having fun and you feel tied down. I get it. And I don’t wanna do that to you. Maybe… maybe we were too young for this. I don’t know–”

“Are you… are you breaking up with me?” Liam’s knees are about to give out from under him. The earth is suddenly out of oxygen.

“Isn’t that what you want?” Renee cries.

“Wha– no!” He pulls back from the swing suddenly, looking at her like she’s gone crazy, which she really must’ve if she thinks Liam wants to get rid of her. “Ree, where did you even get that idea? I love you! I’m not scared of you, I’m scared of losing you!”

“Why do you think you’d lose me?” The way she’s looking at him, Liam’s beginning to think both of them crazy. Well, they can be crazy together. Hopefully. Unless she’s dumping him right now, which she better not be.

“I don’t know! It’s just something always in the back of my mind, I guess? I just… I keep messing up. You miss your family - which is my fault - and now I have to fill their shoes, and I want to make you happy, but every time I try, I fuck it up. And I don’t know what to do.”

“I know what to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Trust me. Trust that I’m not leaving.”

She stands and grabs him by the belt loops. He catches himself right before he falls on her, but they still crash together, her chest against his. His heart is beating so, so fast, the way it did when they first met.

He is so in love.

“You’re sure?” he whispers.

“Never been surer,” she whispers back. “Don’t worry about my family. They’ll come around. They always do.”

“Okay.”

She grins. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And you won’t leave me?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” he says. Her smile grows, and he knows she knows.

They kiss. The leaves are yellow and her hair is soft. The party is still going on. Niall’s probably gonna be passed out on their couch all day tomorrow, and nobody will volunteer to clean up the vomit-puddle, but it doesn’t matter. They’ll deal with it like they deal with everything. Together.