#fishinboatproceeds

All five laughed in unison. Then Sandy looked me dead in the face with her curly locks and said “no”.

Well, it was worth a try.

For better or for worse, it wasn't long before we arrived at the facility that was under the guise of an abandoned high school. It was more than likely that it was never a high school to begin with. YOU KNOW HOW THE GOVERNMENT GETS WITH HIDING THINGS FROM THE MASSES. Kat said the thing was called Rydell High but I had no clue what Grease was even about. I'm fairly certain there's much better media out there BUT THE GOVERNMENT WON'T SHARE IT WITH US.

At least I could rest assured with the fact that the obvious villains of this story revealed their evil plans to me and it was just as I thought. Turning Kat into a zombie to kill me. How despicable. And yet how right I was. These scientists, or whatever they happened to be. Whatever this “Flashbulb” organization happened to be, I was right that they were up to no good. If I am to be killed by my partner in this revolution, then at least I can be killed knowing that I was right.

“Hey, nothing personal,” Dr. Ponyboy chimed. “But we're going to have to knock you out.” Was the last thing I heard before they knocked me out.

We* both awoke in an empty white tiled room. We had no idea how we got there, as the last thing we could remember was being knocked out in our respective vans with our respective captors holding us respectively hostage. Yes, both of us were knocked out, even though only one of us described being knocked out. Shame on the other one for not describing having been knocked out before switching perspectives.

“So what's going to happen to us?” She asked.

He explained dramatically what was going to happen to the both of us. We were both going to die. That much should have been obvious. But the way it was going to go down was truly shocking. We were locked in this room and Kat was going to turn into a zombie (good going, Kat (shut up, Mat, no I'm not).

We just want you all to know beforehand that if anyone survives this whole ordeal, it's the government's fault. Though they also brought us Grease, so we shouldn't be shaming the government all that much. Kudos for Grease.

“So, you two can't see us right now, but we can see you two through a video monitor. Don't worry, there's a security camera in this room somewhere but you won't be able to see it,” came a voice from an intercom that was probably also there but we also couldn't see any intercom. For all we knew this room was soundproof, so there must have been a hidden intercom of some sort.

We looked around and concluded that there could be no hidden intercoms or security cameras. But that wasn't the case, as how else would we hear them and how else would they see us? Come on, think.

Out of nowhere a TV slid down from the ceiling and turned itself on. We gotta admit, technology is amazing. It's always such a wonder how they're able to do some of these things. Come on, we gotta focus. That TV was obviously evil, as it's technology used by the population department. That's the name of the bad guys, right? Of course! We should both know this! Jeez!

At first it was nothing but static. And not the cool kind of static. If there is a cool kind of static. One of us wasn't sure if there was a cool kind of static. Next, we heard a low hum. As opposed to a high hum. Because there is a difference. And the very last thing either of us saw was flashing text in comic sans font that said “KATHERINE”, all while chanting the name 'Katherine' over and over and over and...

We can't keep going on like this. This is too exhausting.

Hey, it's Mat, because who else would it be? I'm not a Katherine. I can't become a zombie. It's one of those rules. So you guys are wondering what the next thing that happens is, right? Well, if you're alive to wonder. IF YOU ARE ALIVE AND READING THIS, LISTEN UP:

She started to contort (Kat) and started groaning.

“Come on, Kat! Don't give in! I told you you should have gone by a different name!” I begged, pleaded with her, all in the hopes that she wouldn't devour my flesh.

“She won't listen to you, kid. She's gonna zombie any moment,” came the voice of one of the scientists on the intercom. If there was one.

“I warned you about the zombies, Kat! I told you!”

She just gave an “ugh...” in reply. Either she was displeased or IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE. I wanted to believe it was the former, although my mind tends to jump to the latter. Then again, either response was undesirable.

Kat started shambling about the room, jumping around the floor and pretending that she was wearing a leather jacket with studded shoulders. She started moaning the lyrics to “Greased Lightning”. It was...highly disturbing.

“Well, we're going to go off elsewhere. We don't need to keep watching you two. It's obvious you're both going to die. It's about time we start turning all the Katherines into zombies. Toodles!” And then, there was a click. That was the last I heard from them or the supposed intercom.

All of a sudden, Kat stood still. Then she turned her head toward me.

“Is it safe? Are they gone?” She asked in a concerned and quite sexy voice.

“Um...pretty sure. Yeah. I mean, they turned the intercom off.”

“Hm...just in case, maybe I should nibble on your arm a bit.”

I stroked my chin. “Makes sense...yes. Which arm should you nibble on?”

“Obviously the left one. A zombie wouldn't go for the right arm.”

I didn't understand the logic, but this was Kat we were talking about.

She reached her mouth down to my lower arm and I could feel the hot breath against the hairs of my forearm, then, before I knew it...

I pulled my arm away.

“No! This is ridiculous!” I protested.

“It is?”

“Yeah, no duh! They're not even paying attention. There's no need to pretend to be a zombie!”

“Aw, but I wanted to...” She moaned. Here I was starting to wonder if she was really a zombie after all.

So here I am, it's me, Kat! Yeah, you guys are probably confused! I don't blame you. Neither does Mat, but he keeps trying to blame you guys anyway! That boy is so unfair!

The day before we were kidnapped, we made this plan. We were going to infiltrate and sneak into their headquarters. Obviously that didn't pan out, but that's why we have a plan B. That way if they don't pan out, at least they can skillet out.

On the off chance that we would get captured, which Mat was convinced was such a low chance, I was to think of myself not as Katherine, but instead as Kat the Conqueror. I picked the name myself. He highly disapproved. He thought being called Katrina was a much more suitable name, but it's my body, not his. You know what they say, “my body, my choice”.

Anyway, I'll let Mat take the wheel.

“So, it's kind of a good thing neither of us are dead, but there's just one problem,” I told Kat.

“Problem? Nah.”

“KAT THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY A PROBLEM! SURE WE ARE A LIVE BUT WE ARE STILL STUCK IN THIS ROOM AND WE HAVE NO HOPE OF SAVING ANYONE IF WE CONTINUE TO BE TRAPPED IN HERE!” I shouted while tears filled my midst.

She patted my back. “There, there. The TV is still hanging from the ceiling.”

“So...?”

“Well, I tend to carry a screwdriver in my pocket, so we can just dismantle the TV and throw it at the wall!”

“That's a great idea, Kat! Oh my god! You're brilliant! I could kiss you right now if there wasn't snot all over my face!”

“I know, right? It would have been so useful if I had that screwdriver in my pocket today. But no, I forgot it at home!”

I slapped myself in the face.

We were screwed.