#firstguy

They said, i'm too afraid to open my heart

The trauma is still there

The pain is still there

I can't trust it anymore

I have a trust issue

I don't believe in love anymore

When you came into my life,

I was too afraid to accept you here

The things that you did was just too perfect

Not too much, not too less

I felt like you know how to handle me

Handle my emotions

And know how to play the kite with me

Without any exaggeration

It might just 10 days since i know you

5 times to met you after the first day,

Feels enough yet too much for my heart

You are the first guy that could make me 'back' to Him

To pray to Him

And asked Him, beg Him,

"Oh please God, don't let him hurt nor break my heart like what they did to me"

You are the first guy,

That i feel like respect me

Yet, make me really afraid

Back again,

I'm too afraid that this is a part of your game

Like the game that they did to me

I'm too afraid that you're just playing with me

Everytime you texted me, yet never replied back my text

I'm always wondering,

What are you doing to me,

What am i doing with you?

But when you texted me every midnight,

I'm wondering

Why do you do that to me?

They said,

They can see it through your eyes that you like me

But still  i thought,

That's what they always said everytime a guy look into my eyes

I'm afraid that it's only a lie

I'm afraid that it's only for a while

But tonight, at this moment,

You are the first guy that can makes me start a new blog

To only express what i feel

You are the first guy,

That come into my mind at midnight

You are the first guy,

That makes me thing that

This might will work out

This might a good one for me

You are the first guy,

That i only want to hug tightly,

Without having any lust to kiss you

You are the first guy,

That i want to sleep beside me,

And only hug me until i fall asleep

You are the first guy,

That i would really like to ask,

"Would you like to join me go to Bali on next August?"

And let's having some adventure with me

You are the first guy,

That i think i can have fun with in a good way

You are the first guy,

That i think could become my bestfriend

Yet my lover

You are the first one.. after these years.. that could make feel those things..