With You //Park Jinyoung Angst
Hello Friends! This is my first posted scenario//drabble-ish kind of thing, and was first posted on @parkjinyoungology âs Submission Entries! I am now posting it on my page :-)). I didnât change much except for some typos I caught(and just lil editing ;-)), and I left the bolded quote for my submission bolded.
Also, please make sure to check our the other submissions/enter one yourself, AND CHECK OUR SARAâS(AKA USER ABOVE ^^^) BECAUSE HER ANGSTS INSPIRE ME OMFF
âSome things, you just canât have. All the elements could be there, but that one most important thing you need for it complete could be missing. And thatâs what hurts the most.â - Anonymous
âHome run..â You sang quietly to yourself, strolling backstage at a Got7 concert. You had to admit, the boys had a rough night, especially since Jinyoung had fallen on his ankle.
â..home run..â You continued to hum, trying to find your injured boyfriend. You twirl the lanyard on your neck, as you stroll around, hoping to bump into him.
You stop walking to look down at your clothes. Your light pink dress was dusty, and your denim jacket was torn a little, but it was good enough for you, as Jinyoungâs scent still lingered on them. You sigh, brushing yourself off as you turn around a corner.
Soon enough, you see Jinyoung wobble into a dressing room with the rest of the boys holding on to him, along following a woman. You smile as you head towards their direction.
As soon as you approach the door, the rest of the boys follow out. âSorry Jinyoung-ie, but we must continue the show without you. We canât risk you getting even more hurt.â Jaebum quickly spoke, closing the door but not shutting it. They left immediately, avoiding any of Jinyoungâs rebuttals, not even noticing you. You continue to peak inside.
âBullshit.â Jinyoung huffed. His hair was a wreck, and so was his make up. His ankle was elevated onto a pillow that lied on a chair, and his left elbow was propped on a counter with his head on his hand, as he faced the vanity mirror. âFucking bullshit.â
âHey, donât talk like that.â The woman smiled, putting her hand on his shoulder. She was beautiful, and tall. She didnât need heels or much makeup. Her hair was light brown, and she had a sense of style similar to Jinyoungâs. âYouâll be alright, and better for tomorrowâs show.â
He shrugged her hand off, not even bothering to look at her. He put his head down, folding his arm and ignoring her.
âLeave me alone.â He muttered harshly. He closed his eyes, as if he were going to sleep on the counter, but you knew that wasnât the case. You peaked in further, slowly stepping into the room. They still hadnât noticed you.
âWhatâs wrong Jinyoung? Do you need a pillow for your head?â The womanâs face concerned, grabbing his shoulder slightly. He looked up at her, with a face mixed with annoyance and anger, but she didnât get the message. âDo you need ice for your leg? I can go get some for you.â Her voice was desperate for his affection and worried for his well-being. She turns around from him, about to exit, as you scurry behind some wardrobe, only to remember that it didnât matter.
âShut up.â He spat harshly, stopping her from approaching the door. She only turned around slowly, looking at him. Her gaze fell slow, and you immediately felt the pounding in her heart, and the pain in her head swirling. âJust fucking stop.â
âWhatâs your problem? Why are you always like this?â She asked walking towards him, as tears started streaming down her face, her eyeliner slight smudging. âWhy do you always treat me like Iâm a bother to you? Do I mean nothing to you?â
She knew why. You knew she knew. You knew almost everything about her, as you followed her around almost all the time. It wasnât the first time she felt neglected and hurt by Jinyoung. It only broke your heart even more to see him neglecting her. You knew she cared, and you wanted him to move on from the thought of you.
Jinyoung only glared at her, his face painted with annoyance. The tension builds up in the room and you feel the anger grow within him even more as turned in his seat more to look at her in the eye.
âYou know what day it is today. I thought youâd be more understanding about it⌠but I guess youâre just as much as a let down as this concertâŚâ His words charged at her heart. He wasnât one to yell at girls, but he always spat fire when he was mad.
You feel her words boil up too, and as much as she tried to be understanding, and not talk about you, she couldnât help it. She had to defend herself.
âListen Jinyoung, I know itâs been hard and itâs been a year since she died, but Iâm here too. I just want to help you. Iâm trying to understand, but I canât help but feel hurt when you speak like that to me.â The woman had spoke. Her words strike you and Jinyoung at the same time. It didnât occur to you that youâve been gone for so long. You look down at the lanyard around your neck, to find that what she had said was true.
âBackstage Pass - July 27, 2015â
You look back up fast, only to see the tears well up in Jinyoungâs eyes. His expression had softened. He was trying hard to not cry about another woman in front of his girlfriend, but the tears just kept falling. Your heart felt heavy as you start tearing up as well, feeling as if you were the cause of them being unhappy. You just wanted the love of your life to be happy, even if it wasnât your heart he was happy with.
You walk over to stand behind Jinyoung, as you touch his forehead. You see the memories that speed through his mind. They were all of the crazy fan who ended it for the both of you exactly a year ago. You quickly let go and back away from him, as you thought holding him made his thoughts more vivid.
âI just wanted to sing for her⌠just for todayâŚâ He whispered, his gaze at the floor. âI still hear her singing to me everyday..â
Though you were barely real anymore, your heart hurt more than you could explain. You wanted to hug him and tell him everything was okay, but that wasnât your job anymore. You just hoped to God that he would let her do it for you, so you could be at ease. So you could leave the world at ease.
âI understand you. And Iâm sorry if it ever sounds like I donât, but I promise you that I do.â She said, as her arms wrapped around him from behind, her head resting on his soft black hair. âI know itâll take sometime to forget, but Iâll wait for you. Iâll wait however long it takes for you to be ready, because I love you. And I know some part of you loves me too, even if itâs just a small piece.â
You see him shift in his seat, in attempt to make her let him go, but she was persistent, never releasing. Your mind races, as you ache for him to smile, but it doesnât work. Her words donât reach him.
âPlease stop. Leave me. Let me be.â He said, voice calm but cold, shaking off her arms, tears streaming down his face as well. He wipes a few, trying to hide from her, but she reaches to pull his shoulder again.
âWhy should I?â She asks quietly, her fingers fidgeting with each other, after she got the hint that he no longer want to be touched by her. She stood there in place, her tears still falling in empathy for him. âBecause..â He spoke, placing his head back to his folded arm on top the if the counter. âYouâre blinded by a love I canât give you..â
He closed his eyes, as he stopped thinking. He didnât mind if he lost the woman that cared about him so deeply, nor did he care about the wasted time he spent knowing her. It was as if the last three months they spent holding on to each other didnât matter anymore. He only wanted you to be with him.
ââŚnow please.. Stop pretending to be someone youâre not and leave me alone for good. â he spoke harshly, as his thoughts faded. The left over tears fell down his face, as his thoughts went into the abyss of dreams.
The woman frowned, tears falling from her eyes more than ever. Her heart was broken, but so was yours. You wanted to help her, but she didnât even know you. You wanted to make them happy.
She soon left the dressing room, after gently kissing Jinyoung on the forehead. You didnât know if youâd ever see her again, and it concerned you. He was too harsh. He didnât know that what he had done was affecting all three of you.
You walk over to him, as you place your right hand on his. His face was half buried into his folded arm, sound asleep. You sigh, thinking youâll never be able to leave his side in peace.
âWhy do you do this to yourself?â You ask him, tears gently rolling down your cheeks. Your other hand grips his cheek, as you try wiping off his tears. âWhy do you refuse to make yourself happy?â
â..because Iâm only happy with you âŚâ He whimpers in his sleep.