#finnie hc

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

it'll be almost entirely silent since he's probably still catching his breath from the length of time he's spent working on you, but you don't need to ask for anything. he's getting up and fetching you some water, one of his shirts to sleep in if you want it, a little snack, some pain meds (trust him, you'll be thankful) and then he'll fall asleep next to you. feel free to grab his arm and pull it around you, or koala yourself to his body, he just wants to make sure you get a chance to rest comfortably after what he's just done to you

B = body part (favourite part of theirs and their partner's)

bane's favourite part of his own body is probably unsurprisingly his arms. he's been proud in the past for their strength, for the way he shaped and formed them himself through hard work. now he likes that they can be used for something other than violence, like holding you and protecting you on a partner, he is 100% an ass man. and not in the sense that he likes big butts, i mean he definitely does, but he will take any kind of ass. he just loves holding them, smacking them, eating them, having them on his face, his thighs, his chest. it's borderline obsessive

C = cum (anything to do with cum)

even post-venom addiction bane still finds that his cum has a teensy tiny little hint of glow in the dark green to it. he's a little self-conscious about that, so he'd rather cum inside of you or have you swallow, just so it's not something you might notice and freak out about. it's totally harmless though!! he's almost certain of that...

D = dirty secret (something they keep hidden)

he spent so long snuggling his teddy bears (and practising some techniques on them...) that he has developed a little bit of a desire for dollification, having his partner pretend to be his favourite stuffy, there to be used by him. he's a little embarrassed by how much time he's spent being intimate with soft toys, so he'll keep this secret as long as he can

E = experience (how experienced are they in bed)

he's been around the block a fair few times. people are drawn to him for the wrong reasons and then they stay for the right ones, so he's had his fair share of sexual encounters. that means he has developed not just one technique that serves everyone well but that he's learned how to read a person and know exactly what they want from him. and chances are, he's tried it before and he knows what he's doing

F = favourite position

he has three for his three favourite things for sex, you gotta be on top and you gotta be facing him, hips rolling, cock sliding, riding him and taking control. he's always worried he'll crush someone below his body (even if they're into that, he still gets nervous) for getting blown, it's preferable that you are on your knees in front of him. makes you look extra small and submissive. he will put pillows down though, so you're not in pain for eating ass, he needs you on a sofa or a low surface, hands and knees, ass in the air, so he can crouch behind you and just go to town

G = goofy (are they serious in the moment?)

oh he is not goofy at all. sex is romantic, light-hearted, and he's open to giggling and laughing, but he holds so much reverence for it and you. his sense of humour is often quite dry, and he is more of a smiler than a laugher, and he's no different during sex

H = hair (how well groomed are they?)

he shaves his head and his arms to prevent from being easy to grab in combat BUT the bits we don't see??? hairy as fuck. his chest has a nice triangle of thick hair in the centre, and his pubes are INSANE. they've never been trimmed, never been shaved. thick and dark. they make him look wild, bear-like. soft and fuzzy

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment romantically?)

there is no one more desperate for intimacy than bane. the romance is insane. he's never had sex, he's only ever made love. the closeness of sex isn't enough, being inside of you isn't enough. he has to hold you, feel you, your breath on his skin, your hands touching him, his hands sinking into you. he loves to love, and he loves to tell you how much you mean to him. yeah he roars when he cums, but right after that you'll be told how much he loves you

J = jack off (masturbation headcanons)

when he was younger it felt like part of his necessary maintenance, one of those things he did when he had to. it's not been a priority for him, given his preference for anything physical to have some meaning behind it, or some comfort. if he doesn't have a partner to satisfy his urges with, he'd rather go out and find a one night stand, someone to share the moment with, someone to distract him, someone to fuck his feelings into rather than suffer the loneliness that comes with cumming alone

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

he leans HEAVY into the size kink, loves feeling like he's big and strong and could stretch or tear or break a partner but knowing he never would he likes being used, especially if it involves bondage. tie his wrists and ankles up (he'll pretend he can't break free) and then ride his cock or sit on his face and get off i'm giving him a minor foot fetish (inspired by another writer!!) and you can't stop me. it's more about body worship and appreciation for him, and massaging and relaxing. and he's definitely on the giving end of that deal but if we're talking body worship, he does like when you oil him up and rub his muscles while you tell him how pretty and strong and sexy he is and that includes his whole body, especially his armpits. tease the hair, smell his musk, bury your face in them, lick and bite and tickle GOD he's helpless when it comes to that

L = location (favourite places to do the do)

as boring as it makes him seem he is adamant that the best place to have sex is in a bed, a quiet room, privacy, security. lets him feel like he can be vulnerable, like he can focus his full attention just on you instead of worrying about being caught or interrupted. and he's happier somewhere he's familiar with, given his size. he often feels clumsy, so give him a room he knows, a bed he's been in before, and he can give it to you expertly

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

exhaustion. sounds counter intuitive, like it wouldn't work, but nothing gets him going more than coming home from the horrors of his 'day job' to you. a safe space, a warm bed, you in his arms. tired of horrors, of his body being brutalised, returning home is what makes him feel happy and care free enough that he can feel aroused. and if you greet him at the door in the clothes he likes to see you in, gently touching his bruises and wounds, kissing him softly? he'll tear you open right there and then without even closing the door first

N = no (something they wouldn’t do)

there's not much he wouldn't try at least once for a partner, provided there were very stringent rules and boundaries in place. the one thing he's wary of however is anything too physical where intentional pain is involved. he can do a little slapping or spanking, and he's ok with pulling hair, but those aren't things he'll do of his own volition a harder no for him is probably choking. again, he'll give it a go, but his hands are so big and he's worried he'll forget his own strength and do some unintentional permanent damage

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving & techniques)

listen if you can get your mouth around him he is more than happy for you to suck his cock. he loves the attention and the feeling of someone dedicating themselves to his pleasure. and if you can work his balls at the same time? perfection he FAR prefers giving than receiving. he is a dedicated eater and sucker. ass, pussy, cock, he'll eat any of them. he loves to express his obsession with you by doing his most. you'd think he was starving, that his life depended on it. but he'll give himself friction burns and a broken nose from pressing into you so hard

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?

both!! he follows a routine almost. he starts so slow, so romantic. peppering you with kisses, making sure there's not a single bit of your body that he hasn't touched with his love. but once he's inside of you and close to orgasm he gets a little bit carried away, and things get hard and rough and feral

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

he can take them or leave them. he's in it for the connection, so he has a preference for a longer encounter that gives him enough time to shower you in his love and affection. if it's all he can get he'll take a quick rut, but he'd rather wait until he can treat you like you deserve

R = risk (are they game to experiment?)

oh he'll do anything once, or twice. he has some limitation and boundaries, mostly involving his own nerves about his size, but he loves someone who is down to get freaky. plus the idea that you trust him enough to try something risky with him is such a compliment, so he would be hard pressed to reject the offer

S = stamina (how many rounds? how long do they last?)

you'd be surprised by how exhausted he can get. he does put his all into the performance though, so despite his training and muscular physique, it does tire him out. he can give you a good few rounds of the good stuff, even if he can only cum once himself. you're definitely getting a bonus few orgasms to boot how long he lasts depends on one thing and one thing only: if you can be quiet, then he could go almost all night. if you moan once or say his name under your breath, it's over immediately

T = toy (do they own toys? do they use them?)

absolutely he uses toys. he has a few of his own, but he's always happy for you to introduce him to whatever tools you might be more comfortable with. in his own drawer, however, he is holding some silky bondage rope, a vibrator, and various lengths and sizes of anal beads. they're not an every time kind of thing, but he's a firm believer in a good worker relying on good tools so he's not afraid to suggest them from time to time

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

he'll try it, there's definitely a mischievous side to him. particularly if spanish isn't your first language, he'll tease you in it as a way to encourage you to learn more. he'll say the dirtiest things imaginable, and then pretend he can't help translate it into your own language to annoy you physically, he's not much into offering something and not giving it to you straight away. why would he torment both you and himself by not just giving in to demand and doing exactly what feels good and right in the moment?

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

as someone who is very aware of the fact he can seem kind of overpowering or dominating in size alone, bane is very conscious of his volume. during sex he prefers to be gentle, so he whispers sweet nothings into your ears, low and breathy compliments, growls that never break the sound barrier and only soft whimpers and whines if he can't hold it all back completely. but when he cums it's a different story. unmeasurable with decibels somehow, he is loud, he is roaring, he is breaking beds, hymens and ear drums

W = wild card (a random headcanon)

ok so totally random thought here, but i think he'd enjoy being dressed up by a partner in any way. it could be something as simple as picking out a tie that matches a shirt. taking him shopping for a nice outfit. even making him put on some lingerie or a sexy costume. he is down for it, because having someone else choose what to put on him means he knows they wanted that, so he gets to feel pretty or sexy or good regardless

X = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

non-venom? it ain't long but it is WIDE. girthy as all hell. like you are not getting your mouth around it without unhinging your jaw like a fucking python. 6-7 inches long, 6-7 inches girth, closer to 8 really. it's veiny, two tone in colour, darker at the base and on his balls and lighter about half way up with a pretty uncut head. he has never thought for a second to shave, so his pubes are unruly and going a little bit grey. and his balls hang LOW, which makes for a delightful treat when they tense up and shift around with venom? the veins on that thing are ribbed for your pleasure and thicker than the average cock. if you try to fit it inside of you it could split you in two. so good luck out there, soldier. and he might as well be riding around on two space hoppers under him with his poor swollen testicles

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive and their desire?)

bane would have you surgically attached to him if he could. when he says he yearns for you, he means it. in every way. emotionally, spiritually, but definitely physically. but his sex drive isn't as high as you'd imagine. he's actually more of a physical comfort than action kind of guy. his desires lie in closeness and satisfaction, and those can be achieved without sex necessarily

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

if you're doing anything a lil bit strenuous (or involving less than professional use of his constructs) he'll make sure you're ok. physically. but a normal romp will end with him asking if you finished and then asking if he was good. but in a way that doesn't offer you much room for opinion. "that was good huh? was i great, or was i amazing? you know what, you don't need to tell me. i already know i blew your mind"

B = body part (favourite part of theirs and their partner's)

hair isn't a body part technically, so he'd probably say his distinguished nose. it gives his face some character and can be utilised in many ways... he would pride himself in saying he is all for every body and any body and that it's the whole thing, body brain and soul combined, that makes someone hot to him. but truthfully if you come with a bit of a belly that'll be where most of his focus go. big and round, with a dip in the middle, apron style, small and pouchy, he likes them ALL

C = cum (anything to do with cum)

guy is a messy little freak. he likes to see how long, loud and strong he can cum. likes to pick a target on your body for where he wants it to land. likes you to let it land on your lips or your cheeks or where your tongue can reach it. likes to taste a lil bit himself sometimes. and to be honest, why wouldn't he, because he can boast about having the nicest tasting cum in the whole league actually

D = dirty secret (something they keep hidden)

he'd never let anyone know how often he uses his constructs in the bedroom, either with a partner or solo. it seems like the kind of thing that would be frowned upon, given how kinky he can get. if any of the other lanterns knew the tentacles he'd formed or the toys he'd conjured up... well, he'd grin and act smug about it, but inside he'd be dying

E = experience (how experienced are they in bed)

the notches on his bedpost have made is unsafe for use, they have compromised the structural integrity of the whole bed lmao he keeps a rolling count of the women he has bedded (348 chicks and counting), as well as a separate list for the men, non-binary, and the beyond the mere concept of binary. he has plenty of experience, and it shows

F = favourite position

he couldn't narrow it down if he tried! it changes so often, dependent entirely on partner, their body shape, their abilities, the location, how much time he has. truthfully it would be easier for him to choose a least favourite position, and even that might take him a good week or two to come up with because he really does love them all

G = goofy (are they serious in the moment?)

it might not necessarily be completely goofy, but as much as he takes himself seriously he can find humour in most things, including himself. his goal is to make you happy and to make his partner laugh, that doesn't change just because you're naked and in his bed. whether it's a rare self-deprecating comment or a ridiculous concept intended as a joke, seeing you smile and loosen up is key to a successful romp with him

H = hair (how well groomed are they?)

guy gardner's bush is as pristine as the level straight line of his bowlcut. they are trimmed, neat and tidy, and he spends an inordinate amount of time working away at them. he has a myriad of grooming tools that he uses just on his cock and balls, and that fiery red forest is always looking it's best

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment romantically?)

guy is romantic, but not hugely intimate. it's part of his schtick. he's been with a lot of people and he intends to be with a lot more, so he reserves that kind of emotional closeness for special people. he likes to remain a little bit distanced, so it doesn't hurt you as much when he has to leave for an emergency or when he moves on to the next conquest. but he'll lay it on thick in the romance department, so you can never be that sad. better to have been fucked by guy gardner and lost, than to never have been fucked by guy gardner at all

J = jack off (masturbation headcanons)

usually he's either too busy to masturbate or he doesn't need to, since there's always someone in his roster than he can call on, or some lonely person at a bar just waiting to be picked up. when he does have to resort to doing the job himself, he makes it quick. and is it really masturbating if it's a big glowing palm that he constructed? not his own palm, but one of his creation...

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

guy has a thing for roleplay, but specifically for acting out what is basically a normal day for him. if you would pretend to be a citizen in distress who is keen to repay him for his heroism or better yet, pretend to be a villain who is succumbing to his charms, please giving him the gift of a breeding kink. especially if it's a partner he's been with long enough to settle down with. i mean regardless, he likes the idea of cumming deep inside and the risk associated, but he's such a loved up family guy that he would looooooove to get you pregnant into a lil bit of violence, but in the form of like. play fighting. maybe you take it a little too far and he ends up with a nose bleed and bruises all over his body. he's into that. he's strong and tough enough that it doesn't bother him, but getting his ass kicked is a bit of a turn on, and getting to roll around with you, pretending to let you win, then spinning you onto your back so he can pin you down as his sweat drips onto you? literally his ideal night in

L = location (favourite places to do the do)

he's a man of extremes. there's not many places more perfect that being in his bed with someone who can leave his sheets smelling like them until the next one in line comes in. but if he was going to be real dirty about it, he loves making constructs to bang you inside of. i mean, everyone knows they're there, it's not very secretive, but that's kind of part of the appeal. hat's that glowing green porta-potty doing on the side of the street?? best not to ask

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

winning!! he gets such a fucking buzz when he's just back from saving the world, or breaking his records at the gym, or winning whatever bar game he drunkenly demanded that everyone join in on. feeling like the greatest makes him feel like he's worthy of someone's affections, and that boost of confidence tickles him in all the right places

N = no (something they wouldn’t do)

i feel like guy has super hard lines when it comes to monogamous relationships. he'd love to bang everyone that makes eyes at him, but if he thinks for a minute that you're committed to someone else then he would never overstep that boundary. he'd hate to be betrayed like that, and he wouldn't want to be a part of anyone else's heartache

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving & techniques)

come at me, i am sorry, but he doesn't look like an avid giver of oral sex. he'll do it, but it's not like he goes at it like a starving man or someone who believes they'll find the meaning of the universe if they dig deep enough. he's far more keen on receiving that specific pleasure when he is on the receiving end he is absolutely full of praise and kind words, a little reassurance, a little guidance. he will talk you through every step of what he wants and will tell you how good you are for taking his advice

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?

he can be whatever you want him to be, and he will whisper that in a low, gravelly voice before you begin. if he were left to his own devices, however, he's either fast and gentle or slow and rough a lot of quick humping and rapid position changes while he tells you how excited you make him, how hard you've got him, how quick you're gonna make him cum or, you are getting gut rearranging thrusts that happen so slowly, so well-timed and so desperately slowly, yet you still don't have time to prepare yourself, mentally or physically, for how filled with him you'll feel for weeks to come afterwards

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

sometimes it's all you can get with him. he is the world's greatest green lantern and possibly the world's greatest superhero overall. he is in demand, not just from other potential partners, but from humanity in general. so if you can get a five-ten minute window, you should definitely take it. he can make it feel like time has stopped with how good it can get, so it really doesn't feel like just a quickie

R = risk (are they game to experiment?)

guy gardner is unafraid in the face of any potential danger, so if you suggest something incredibly new and incredibly risky, know that he'll be undressing and preparing himself, mentally and physically and spiritually and emotionally, before you can even finish proposing whatever nasty little deed you want to experiment with

S = stamina (how many rounds? how long do they last?)

guy tends to give it his all, so one round is probably all he can give to you. but that one round will be extravagant. we're talking proper foreplay and build up, position changes, pace changes, he might even stop in the middle for a snack and some water and then get right back to you. it's easy to assume though that the stopping and starting is actually just to make sure he lasts longer. he does often worry that if he were just to put his dick in you and ride you consistently as he looks into your eyes he wouldn't last more than five minutes so yeah, one round is loooooooooooong, but it's that or basically nothing, and he knows what he'd rather have

T = toy (do they own toys? do they use them?)

who needs to buy toys and keep them stored in your house when you can literally create anything you can imagine?? and guy is absolutely not afraid to conjure up whatever you want. beads? you betcha. specifically shaped and almost perfectly form fitting dildos? yup. vibrators than shake your entire nervous system? of course. tethers and ropes and chains and- look you get the point. if he can make it he will. and if you want it, he'll give it to you

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

he enjoys a fair bit of teasing actually. there's something about tempting you with all the goodness he can offer and making you beg for it, watching you get more and more desperate as he promises grander experiences that you can't go without. he'll make you beg and say pretty please and then tease you for another 15 minutes on top of it, it gives him a bit of a rush to know he can get you like that

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

god he never shuts up! not even for a second! he is loud, and proud of it. he's shouting, whispering, muttering little bits of praise and sweet nothings and dirty filthy whims the whole time aside from being a verbal rambler, he moans and groans like there is no tomorrow. not so much softer sounds, you won't often catch him whimpering or whining. he is a roarer, machismo personified. he will yell and growl until you have a headache, the cure for which is obviously another orgasm

W = wild card (a random headcanon)

if there's no grass on the field, he will not play ball. you gotta have a bush, preferably 70s era level of hair but he'll tolerate even just a landing strip. he needs texture, something to rub his nose into, something that keeps a hold of that hint of your scent that drives him WILD

X = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

oh i believe that guy gardner is overall average. 4-5 inches, slightly thicker girth than normal, uncut but cleaned and maintained, balls that are a normal size and a normal length. BUT it's what he does with it all that makes him an exceptional lay. plus, no one else can claim to have a perfectly manicured green lantern logo trimmed into beautiful ginger pubes, so there's that

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive and their desire?)

he's a quantified and qualified player, so he doesn't yearn romantically for a single partner (unless he really REALLY falls for them, which happens more often than he'd like to admit) but his sex drive is insane and his need (not a desire) runs deep. he's always on the prowl for a little something something, and more often than not he charms his way into getting it. which is good because otherwise his mood is affected and he's even more irritating than usual

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

edward nigma is not interested in after care whatsoever. if you need to be praised and coddled then perhaps you should have prepared to do that yourself before agreeing to sleep with him. he's pretty minimalistic about his own needs afterwards too. he'll make an attempt to regulate his breathing, but then it's back to work without a second thought. he doesn't need to know if you're alright or if you enjoyed yourself because a) he already knows that you did and b) if you didn't, that's on you

B = body part (favourite part of theirs and their partner's)

his favourite body part of his is his mind. there's nothing physical about him he believes is that important or that could be improved upon. brain will always triumph over brawn, so he takes pride in his mental acuity in a partner, he is the opposite. no one can come close to him intelligence wise, but the one thing he lacks is a body that he can use for his own needs. his favourite part of his partner therefore is whatever part he can grab, meaty thighs, an ass, some tits, a stomach. something to sink his fingers into and claw at while he lets out his stress and tension

C = cum (anything to do with cum)

he doesn't like being too messy with his cum, despite his complete disinterest in keeping other bodily fluids or messes from him. it's a texture thing, but it also feels so seedy and lewd to let himself be covered in a sign of his body's humanity and weaknesses. with a partner, he would rather swallow whatever they're giving him than let it mark any of his clothing, lest someone see and know that there are things that edward nigma does need that other humans do too

D = dirty secret (something they keep hidden)

i stand by his psychologically twisted attraction to batman. he definitely has thought about those gigantic muscular arms pinning him down and, instead of beating him senseless, using them to hold him and touch him and grab him and fuck him. someone bigger and meaner and stronger than him deciding that they might want him in a physical way that isn't intended to be (but still is) painful? it's definitely tied to the daddy issues he refuses to address

E = experience (how experienced are they in bed)

i mean, he's had sex before. he's done stuff. it's just that it was so long ago he might as well consider himself entirely inexperienced. he doesn't forget what he's learned, but when he learned it his body was younger and more agile and his mind was less focused on other things. now, he might not hit the target straight away, but god forbid you mention that because it might be the last time you ever have sex. and the last time you breath

F = favourite position

get bent over, idiot. he doesn't want to look into your eyes, he doesn't want to be reminded that there's another human here sharing this moment with him. he can't afford to get distracted by the emotions or attractions that would come with seeing someone in the throes of passion. you are but a fleshlight between two cushions, there to take his thrusts and to do it quietly. and it's even better if you can be bent over his desk or his workbench because then he can keep reading his notes or even work on something while he bucks his hips into you

G = goofy (are they serious in the moment?)

this might be the only time he is ever intentionally goofy (since his goofy ass thinks it's so serious all the time despite... everything about him) but if you have him vulnerable and relaxed, tension melting away with every stroke of his cock in your hand or your lips or your insides, he might even be able to crack a joke or be sarcastic or laugh at the inevitable awkwardness of sex without it feeling like he's being mocked

H = hair (how well groomed are they?)

eddie is surprisingly hairy, actually. we see that slutty chest hair and his dark arm hair too, but below that vest there's a belly COVERED in fur that leads to a wiry mess of pubes that are just begging to be twirled around your fingers (too much? don't care)

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment romantically?)

it's not romantic, in the slightest, but he craves intimacy more than he would ever know and he only ever realises or remembers this fact when he's touching someone else's body, when he's wrapped up in them, when they're putting their hands on him in a way far less violent than others have. and then he's like a little limpet, impossible to get off of you as he clings on for dear life. it's needy and desperate and cloying, but not romantic. unless you're into that kind of thing...

J = jack off (masturbation headcanons)

in moments of aggression or tension or high stress he'll find himself absent-mindedly palming at the front of his pants because he knows that kind of release is good for curing his mental ailments. it's not something he likes to indulge in too often, preferring to train himself out of requiring those human needs, but when he does it's a quick spit onto his hand and a few strokes or lip biting focus until he's finished and ready to move on

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

his kink verge into cruelty, with him exerting dominance. he likes to be in control, so acting like your master would serve him well. it would mean he'd get to dish out a punishment if he chose to, something either physically painful or potentially emotionally scarring he'd enjoy playing the true villain, a bit of torture or cnc or even something lighter like tickling, as long as his "victim" is tied up and screaming for him to stop he can get off and i'm sorry to do it to you all, but his piss kink is basically built in. i feel like it's borderline canon, and it's the idea of the humiliation, the degradation, the subservience a partner would show just to let him do that to him? chef's kiss truly

L = location (favourite places to do the do)

he genuinely couldn't care less. if he had to pick, it would probably be either on a desk or seated in a chair, something that makes it seem like he's doing a lot of work but which is easy enough that he can actually let his mind shut off and relax (or focus on other things, ever the multi-tasker). if you're sitting in his lap then he gets to watch your face and he can command you easier, if you're bent over then it's really just about moving his hips, he just doesn't have the time spend on making sure it's good for you, and he also doesn't feel like you warrant it

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

the thing that motivates him most to seek out physical release is rage and anger. he needs to take it out on someone else, so he will deliver to you the most brutal, degrading, dominating experience of your life. hair pulling, choking, smacking, biting, scratching. you'll look like you've gone ten rounds in the ring when he's finished, and you'll be grateful for it what turns him on the most, however, is being praised. if you happen to make even the most passive comment about his work, simply a "yeah, looks good" he is hard and desperate within seconds. he really is that starved for attention

N = no (something they wouldn’t do)

i don't think edward nigma would ever actually say the words "i love you" and that's not to say he wouldn't eventually accept that he had those feelings, that he did love you. it's just that physically saying the words out loud would be an absolutely insurmountable task. too vulnerable. too many things could go wrong. and he hates getting things wrong

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving & techniques)

as much as he is a fan of being on the receiving end, knowing that it is so delicious to be sucked off by someone on their knees while he basically ignores them in favour of his work, he would have to admit that he does love delivering that kind of pleasure. it doesn't happen often, but he will on occasion find himself starving, wanting his mouth to be filled. something to do with focusing on a task with a clear ending, proving himself to be useful, and having an excuse to not have to talk so he can shut his brain off for a while and focus only on his partners whines and moans and the taste of their cum

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?

it truly depends what kind of mood he is in. if this is purely a reaction to physical stimuli or a method of release then he is quick and brutal, making sure that he solves the problem of his unfortunate base requirements and can get back to work. the kind of sex that leaves someone laying in a pool of various fluids wondering what the hell just happened and how they can get more of it if he's feeling a little sensitive, post-batman beating, he will be slower and not just because of the painful bruising. this is recovery, this is reassurance, this is the kind of sex that builds up his ego and fulfils his need for tender, gentle touch as a reminder that not everyone is looking to cause him harm

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

absolute fiend for it. what is better than calling someone into whatever room he is in, commanding that they remove their clothes, bending them over whatever surface there is, and ramming his cock inside of them for a swift five minutes of hole-filling, breath-stopping, sweat-dripping humping until he's spent, made a mess of you, and can tell you to get out and leave him alone until he next needs you?? they're so easy, so distanced. making these encounters short and swift means less chance of him developing any kind of feelings AND by treating them the same as having to go to the bathroom or drinking a cup of coffee, he can reduce sex to a clinical function

R = risk (are they game to experiment?)

of course he is! he has a curious and scientific mind, the word experimentation conjures up worlds of excitement for him. the only thing holding him back from trying out something new, whether it's a kink or a toy or a roleplay or a position, would be his ego. he has to be good at everything, great even. so the idea that he might need to spend some time learning and practising could put him off

S = stamina (how many rounds? how long do they last?)

you are getting one single round of reasonable time, but please bear in mind that while that old man can rut with the best of them and keep a good, solid pace, he is after all still old. and tired. and nutritionally unbalanced (despite what he argues to the contrary). he is a good lay, though, so you won't have much to complain about afterwards

T = toy (do they own toys? do they use them?)

he;s not above using some assistance when it comes to sexual encounters, though he prefers home made over store bought. why would he waste his time sourcing a vibrator that works on you when he could build one himself. granted it might be repsonsible for shattering your nerve endings, as well as a few windows in the streets above, but you'll never forget it

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

it's not so much teasing as it is unbearable cruelty with him. when he has the time and motivation to really stretch out his time with a partner, he will opt for whatever tactics make them desperate, make them beg and plead for him to just give it to them or to let them cum. he's a huge fan of edging and driving people to insanity by declining to give them what they want the most. so it is teasing, in a way. but it's far more torturous

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

eddie is a talker, and he'll go on and on the whole time. he might praise you, if you're lucky, but it'll mostly be testaments to his own abilities "isn't this good? you like that, don't you? how lucky are you?" and he's not expecting an answer, because he already knows it's "yes". he's a bit of a groaner, not so much a moaner. lots of guttural sounds and grunting, a choked and scratching yowl when he cums being the cheery on top

W = wild card (a random headcanon)

the smell of his own sweat turns him on. he loves seeing it glisten on him. it makes him feel particularly manly, like he's done a good job, like he's exerting himself and using all of his capabilities. it's even better when he's sweating not from his work but from working a partner. both of you sweaty and writhing, natural musks mingling. drives him WILD

X = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

i think for all that the rest of him might be a decisive matter in terms of looks and appeal, eddie has a really nice cock. not very thick, but a solid 6-7 inches. it's veiny, one on the top and one under the shaft, which feel nice against your lips or your throat or your palm or your insides. his pubes are messy and untrimmed and he likes how they make him look sort of feral. his balls are lower hanging than average, but standard size, and they tend to slap against whatever he's humping with a delightful sound that he loves

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive and their desire?)

eddie will deny having a sex drive at all, given how human that feels, how beneath him it is to be tethered by those kinds of desires. but he needs it more than he'd like to admit, especially if he's found himself pining for someone in particular. that need for closeness, for intimacy, for a touch that's gentle and kind and affectionate and pleasurable, he's just as human as the rest of us when it comes down to it

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)