#findingthebestloveattheworsttime

12:47am

9:35pm

Love-to find it in the most unexpected time, in the most unexpected places. That’s probably one of the most special things about it. You don’t expect to find it there, or at any specific time. It just comes to you as you realize it. Not by choice, not something that can be forced or fabricated. Just simply put, in front of you.

Unconditional love-how many people in today’s obligations can find truth to the root meaning of that? Who knows. I’m scared to use that word myself, as I barely know love itself, if you ask me.

If I told you, you were to fall in love over a screen face timing, you would never believe me in 100 years. I know, I would say the same. To find something that we have is so special to me. I do get lost in your presence almost everyday, because I still can’t believe I’m face to face-smiling, loving you, and having that reciprocated. I step back and think about what we have, and how crazy it is. I admire it so much, for something like this I didn’t expect to find in this lifetime.

Types-maybe there are more types of love than just unconditional love. Sure. Like the type of love that makes you a little crazy, a little unreasonable, a love so real it makes your heart hurt a little. Something more complex than the mind can understand, more loaded than the heart can handle. A love that makes your already structured life, change. Things that may have seemed absurd before, now seem plausible. A bond so strong it doesn’t need the physical touch to get intense. Intellect so deep that it’s intertwined with the strands of the universe, tying two people together as if they were face to face.

You- distance has been tough. For the both of us, I’m sure. I am a very selfish person I know. I’m really trying everyday to let you be who you need to be. So that can bloom into us, if that ever becomes reality. You mean more to me than any of the people around us will ever know. You are the most specialistststs girl. You have my heart. You have my mind, my soul, and my thoughts. I see the depths of the ocean when I look into your eyes. I’m not a great swimmer, but I’ll dive in (definitely making sure I have my floaties on my arms) I love to make you laugh, shy, awkward, giggle, squint, AND wink. You will forever be my greatest regret not having you sooner in my life. I believe in love, and hopefully love, believes in us.

11:47 pm

Hi my love, my dearest. The one I hold dearest to my heart. Currently in my life, I believe you are the most significant person to me. I think about you so much. Some of the things I do myself, for myself, I almost feel like I’m doing it for you too. That’s how integrated you’ve become in my life.

I was playing a little 3 progression finger picking tune on the guitar earlier, and I just thought about you the whole time. I had people over and everyone was just cross talking in conversation. I unknowingly tuned it all out, just heard the strings of the guitar and the tunes it was making, and the vibration of the guitar body against my hip. It’s a great feeling and I love enjoying the simple melodies a guitar makes when played to the hearts content. Even the simplest note. All this while day dreaming about you. That’s all that was on my mind. The feeling of the guitar, the sounds it was making, and you. You, this goofy girl I met in high school (I was even goofier) now on my mind almost all hours of the day. I’m glad we kept in touch, I’m glad we can still catch up like time has never passed and we never grew up. I love this person you’ve become, I love the passions you have. The dedication to the things you do. I respect it, I really do. I love you, so very much. My heart is settled when it finds itself wrapped around you. Until our special moments arrive.

11:48pm

Your dads court date is getting closer, I really wish I could be there through all of it with you, or even talk to you throughout the whole process. It’s a weird time right now. We texted a bit today, and you’re still trying to figure out if talking to me is something that’s good or bad for you right now.

We’re 2 1/2 months into this coronavirus thing now. Athough life’s been good since everything has slowed down. The only thing that gets me is we can’t see each other. Life’s like that though, huh? You can’t have it all. You find the best love, the love of your life, and she’s 1200 miles away. And then an epidemic happens, AND her life’s at one of its most difficult points. This whole thing is crazy, everything, all the things happening. Still, I see you so clearly. Looking at you through a lens, gives me a clarity few words can attain. If I were to be physically in front of you it’d be different. I would want to hug you, and kiss you and be distracted by the ambience around us. But when you’re behind the screen, I can see you without those wants and desires. I just see you right there, in front of me, beautiful as ever. Just like the day you called me unannounced. Thank you again, for all your time, your love and your insight. You really do make me a-whole-nother person. A better version of myself

PS. Here are some pictures from today’s progressions on calebs radio flyer. (I called out of work because I was just tired. Ended up working on calebs flyer)

12:21am

Greetings, love of my life

You’ve allowed me to be so selfless, so loving, and understanding. I know I’m hard headed, impatient, and rude at times. You’ve given me such peace, even with our distance. Loving you is easy, even from afar. I’m grateful really, to have met someone like you. A person that understands me within seconds of a stare, someone who smiles back with the utmost certainty that everything will be ok, even if she’s unsure. A love like yours is something I’ve only dreamt of but never expected in this lifetime. My love, the best parts to my day, the easiest sleep throughout my night. You’re always with me.

Love, yours.

7:49pm

Hey darling, seems like you’ve had a rough day. Sometimes it be like that. I decided to take a break from stupid car things and sit down for some quality time. Quality time pondering about you and all the cutest little things. “Man O man” I tell myself, “you’re in love”

11:04pm

Hi love. It was great to hear your voice again. I forgot to save the damn message, again! 🤦🏻‍♂️ But I remember it this time. Soothing, caring, full of meaning when you use it towards me. I can almost imagine you look at me when you’re speaking. I really hope you’re doing well. I’m counting days that I’m not talking to you constantly. I’m trying not to, but I am.

We texted for a bit today earlier in the day. Just now I had a strong urge to call you, but I didn’t. Instead I’m writing to you here. Reason being, my roommates are having a very tough time right now. It ended basically with “do you want to pack your stuff now, or need until the end of the month” I don’t want to tell anyone else about it, I just want to talk to you. But I can’t, because I know you need your space from me. I am trying my best to not be selfish, and to help you on this self discovery journey of yours which means I have to be out of your life, almost out of your head. I don’t want you to be far from me, but right now it seems like you are