#finding heart

Finding Heart by Tiffani Lynn

<p> </p> Title: Fleeting Moments Author: Bella Jewel Genre: Contemporary Romance   Release Date: July 19, 2016 Blurb One single moment changes everything In one breath, you can have it all A split-second later, it can all disappear Vanished foreverThat was me

I had it all Then in a cruel twist of fate, it was taken from me A beautiful life gone in a flashBut he was there He was…

Finding Heart

A Colorado Veterans Novel by Tiffani Lynn Publication Date: June 7, 2017 Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Title: Rookie Mistake (California Dreamers #4)

  Author: Dakota Madison

Genre: Adult Romantic Comedy Novella

Release Date: June 16, 2016

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  When a police recruit reports for duty he…

A story about a girl who goes through personal tragedy and moves to L.A. for a fresh start. Along her journey of self discovery she meets a few of the Magcon guys and begins to fall for Cameron Dallas.

Finding Heart - Prologue

Finding Heart - Chapter 1: Meeting Gilinsky

Finding Heart - Chapter 2: Spending the Day with Madison    

Finding Heart - Chapter 3: The Party (Part 1)  

Finding Heart - Chapter 4: The Party (Part 2)  

Finding Heart - Chapter 5: The Dog Park

Finding Heart - Chapter 6: Photoshoot with Bryant

Finding Heart - Chapter 7: Sparring With Cameron

Finding Heart - Chapter 8: Beach Day

Finding Heart - Chapter 9: Music Video

Finding Heart - Chapter 10: Cooking Dinner for Cameron

Finding Heart - Chapter 11: Filming a YouTube Video

Finding Heart - Chapter 12: First Date

Finding Heart - Chapter 13: Netflix and Deep Talk

Finding Heart - Chapter 14: Meeting the Family

Finding Heart - Chapter 15: Birthday Surprise

Finding Heart - Chapter 16: Wisdom Teeth Out

Finding Heart - Chapter 17: Down Time

A story about a girl who goes through personal tragedy and moves to L.A. for a fresh start. Along her journey of self discovery she meets a few of the Magcon guys and begins to fall for Cameron Dallas.

Finding Heart - Prologue

Finding Heart - Chapter 1: Meeting Gilinsky

Finding Heart - Chapter 2: Spending the Day with Madison    

Finding Heart - Chapter 3: The Party (Part 1)  

Finding Heart - Chapter 4: The Party (Part 2)  

Finding Heart - Chapter 5: The Dog Park

Finding Heart - Chapter 6: Photoshoot with Bryant

Finding Heart - Chapter 7: Sparring With Cameron

Finding Heart - Chapter 8: Beach Day

Finding Heart - Chapter 9: Music Video

Finding Heart - Chapter 10: Cooking Dinner for Cameron

Finding Heart - Chapter 11: Filming a YouTube Video

Finding Heart - Chapter 12: First Date

Finding Heart - Chapter 13: Netflix and Deep Talk

Finding Heart - Chapter 14: Meeting the Family

Finding Heart - Chapter 15: Birthday Surprise

Finding Heart - Chapter 16: Wisdom Teeth Out

A/N - Finally a shorter chapter. Bad thing about it is the reason it’s short is because it kinda sucks. I did 2 pretty full on chapters in a row so I felt like the storyline needed a little bit of a slow down. It can’t be action all the time. So yes, I’m gonna class this as a filler chapter. A way of progressing the story to the next lot of important events I guess. Sorry if it’s kinda slow, but there are a few important topics discussed. Anywho enjoy the rest of your week! - A

To catch up on previous chapters check out my Masterlist!

Sometimes we all need a little down time. A little rest and recuperation. Though personally I found it hard to be idle, which lead to my Chase-enforced-house-arrest after my wisdom teeth removal and head on collision with my desk. Chase basically banished me to my room and made sure I stayed in bed. For the first few days I was ok with it because I really did need a bit of time to recover. But after four days of sitting in bed and doing very little, I was sick of it.

All I could really do was sit on my laptop and phone. And I did plenty of that. What surprised me the most was the rumours that popped up after pictures of me walking into the hospital surfaced. I didn’t have a clue how people even found out I was at the hospital or how they managed to get pictures. Both Chase and Cameron were in the pictures as well. The most circulated rumour, which also happened to be the most ludicrous, was that I’d gone to hospital because I was pregnant. The rumour itself didn’t make a lot of sense and it was absurd that people were believing it.

I spent a fair amount of my down time trying to squash the rumour, which was nearly impossible to do. There was always the few people that thought my legitimate reason for going to the hospital was just a cover up for my ‘pregnancy’. I tweeted about my whole wisdom teeth experience and explained my accident which resulted in a trip to the emergency room. I even went as far as to posting a rather unflattering photo of myself on Instagram, where I put my still swollen cheeks, angry red gash and stitches on display for all to see.

The photo went a long way to proving my story, but there was always going to be the few conspiracy theorists claiming that the wound and stitches were fake. I resigned to the fact that there were always going to be people who didn’t like me and would make it their mission to discredit me in anyway they could. The majority of the media accepted my explanation for going to the hospital and labelled my very raw Instagram photo as a bold, yet brave show of self-acceptance.

Despite the few haters, I had many people send me their love and well-wishes. Both fans and other celebrities alike tweeted me or messaged me to wish me a speedy recovery. To be honest it was all a little over the top, I mean people acted as though I were dying. When in reality all I’d done was had an everyday procedure and then bumped my head a little too hard. Everyone was acting as though I was a fragile piece of glass that needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap until I was all better. The worst perpetrator was my own brother.

Chase wouldn’t let me out of the house for a full week and by that time I was in dire need of fresh air. So for the rest of my week long sentence I ignored Chase and did whatever I wanted at home. I knew he was only worried about my physical well-being, but I was beginning to worry about my sanity. If I stayed in bed for another 3 days I was surely going to lose it.

So I ignored his instructions to stay in bed and did a range of things around the house. I did a spot of baking, I reacquainted myself with my piano and did some writing. I also made a point out of annoying Chase, just to prove that I was fine and didn’t need to be babied. Chase got the point, but I could tell he was still worried about me. I knew how he felt. If the positions were reversed I’d have felt the same.

During most of my week of house arrest my mouth caused me more pain than the stitches in my head. Eating, which was something I liked to do, was quite painful. It hurt to eat most things and I was stuck with eating only soft things. It became apparent quite quickly that most soft things were actually quite boring to eat. It was especially frustrating when Cameron was over and Chase ordered pizza, which I found too heard to eat.

Cameron came over for about half the days of my week long imprisonment. His company made the time pass quickly and he made it much more bearable to be stuck inside. Cameron always managed to make a sucky situation fun and he certainly managed to do that.

The two of us started to make plans for our trip up to Santa Clara to surprise Shawn. Laying spread out on my bed we decided on driving up the day before the concert. It’d be kind of a long drive, but who doesn’t love a bit of a road trip? Then we confirmed with Shawn’s tour manager, Stephen, that he’d meet us outside the stadium so we’d be able to get in. Cameron then went ahead and booked us a room at the Hilton Santa Clara which was only about a 10 minute walk from the stadium where the concert was held.

Lastly, we moved onto designing a sign to take to the concert so we could get Shawn’s attention from the crowd. I definitely had fun coming up with a design for the sign with Cameron. The message for the sign was pretty basic: ‘Charlie and Cameron ♥ Shawn Mendes’. But we planned on making the sign huge and have battery operated fairy lights around the edge. It was going to be impossible for Shawn to miss us and I honestly could not wait to see his face when he saw us in the crowd. All we had to do then was actually make the sign, but we still had plenty of time to get that done.

After my week of idleness the pain in my mouth was pretty much gone and I could eat most things again. My first time out of the house after my week of seclusion was to take a trip to the doctors to get my stitches removed. I’d regularly changed the bandage patch that covered the wound and stitches since I’d left the hospital. Though the wound had barely bled since getting the stitches, which I took as a good sign.

Getting the stitches out was a lot less nerve wracking than getting them in, which I was infinitely grateful for. I wasn’t overly concerned about having a scar, but the doctor did instruct me to use the special cream prescribed to me. My doctor did also agree with Chase that I should still take it easy for a few days and not to do any exerting exercise. That was a little disappointing because I’d planned to go to a Ninja Session or at least a nice long run. I really was in desperate need of some physical activity.

Instead of going out to do some exercise like I’d wanted to, I went and met up with Madison. We’d spoken on and off, but she’d been a busy bee lately and hadn’t been able to stop by to see me. We liked to meet up at our favourite little coffee shop, but this time I went over to her house. I fiddled with the locket Cameron had given me for my birthday as I waited for her to answer her front door. I smiled as I thought back to when Cameron had given me the necklace, which I had yet to take off.

“Charlie!” Madison said as she flung the door open with a swish of long, dark hair and dressed in a fashion forward outfit.

“Hey!” I grinned and gave her a hug.

Madison hugged me briefly and then pulled back to get a closer look at me.

She peered closely at my forehead, “Your head doesn’t look too bad actually and with your hair down you can hardly see it.”

Madison moved out of the doorway and let me inside. I’d been to her house before and it was huge, modern and pretty much implied that her family was considerably wealthy. We grabbed some of the bowls of candy that were a signature thing at the Beer household and headed up to Madison’s room. The two of us didn’t have anything planned, it was more of just a low key catch up. Madison stuck the candy bowls in the middle of her bed and we both just collapsed in various positions on her king sized bed.

“I haven’t seen you since Disneyland, but I know you’ve been busy,” I said to Madison as she popped a few different pieces of candy in her mouth.

“I know! It’s been like 2 weeks or something,” Madison started off saying before continuing on to tell me what she’d been up to since I’d seen her last. And I’ll admit, she’d been pretty busy.

“So you’ve been recording in the studio, you filmed a music video with Alli, Jack and Jack and did 2 photoshoots. Oh you know, no big deal,” I scoffed at how chill she was about all her massive projects.

Madison giggled and shifted on the bed to face me, “Well it’s better than what you’ve been doing. Getting your wisdom teeth out and then landing yourself in the hospital. Oh and let’s not forget about the fact that people thought you were pregnant.”

“Ok first of all, the wisdom teeth had to go. Secondly, hitting my head was an accident. You try being all drugged out and then waking up alone, thirsty and disorientated. I assure you, you’d end up in about the same situation. But don’t even get me started on the stupid pregnancy rumours. Crikey that stuff drives me up the wall,” I grumped to Madison and reached out for some candy.

“It’s dyed down now anyway. I don’t think anyone actually believed it either,” Madison tried to placate me.

“Yeah I know…. I’m doing a few interviews next week and I’m going to set the record straight as much as I can. The whole thing is ridiculous and it seriously just frustrates me,” I could just about feel my blood boil at simply talking about the subject.

Madison threw a piece of chocolate at me, “Let’s change the subject before you land yourself in the hospital again.”

I stuck my tongue out at her as my only response and ate the chocolate she’d thrown at me.

“So you and Cam haven’t then?” Madison asked vaguely.

“Haven’t what?” I scrunched my nose at her seemingly open ended question.

Madison lay on her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows, “Have you and Cameron…you know?”

She made a random hand gesture which didn’t help me understand her question whatsoever. Madison rolled her eyes and let out an impatient huff.

“God I swear you must have hit your head harder than you think because you’re a little slow Charlie,” Madison gave me an imploring look, but I was still completely lost.

“You’re gonna have to give me a hint Mads. I don’t know what you’re trying to ask me.”

“Oh my God Charlie, really?” Madison outright laughed at my confusion, “Have you slept with him? With Cameron?”

I gave Madison a dead pan look, “How on earth did you expect me to get that from your weird little hand movement?”

“Charlie! Answer the question!” Madison threw another piece of chocolate at me.

I giggled at her exasperation and ate the chocolate again, “Yeah Cam and I slept together that night at Disneyland.”

Madison looked absolutely floored, “What? Seriously? Why am I only hearing about this now?!”

“I didn’t think it was that noteworthy. I mean we got into the hotel room, we showered, he gave me a beautiful necklace and then we fell asleep together. We were tired and you know, sleeping is what people do when they’re tired,” I explained to Madison slowly since she seemed so amazed.

Madison groaned, “If you hadn’t just gotten stitches out of your head I’d be face palming you so hard right now Charlie.”

I threw my hands up in the air, “What? Why? I just answered your question didn’t I? Would you just tell me what you mean ‘cause I’m obviously not on the same page as you.”

Madison sat up straight and crossed her legs, “I meant ‘did you sleep with Cameron’, not ‘did you sleep with Cameron’.”

I stared at her blankly, “You just said the same thing twice.”

Madison grabbed the closest pillow and threw it at me in frustration, “Oh. My. God. Are you playing with me right now? Come on Charlie, sleep can mean sleep. Or sleep can mean sex. Do I need to spell it for you? S.E.X!”

I let my mouth gape open in a small ‘o’ shape, “Oh you wanted to know if I- if we….I um, oh.”

My cheeks reddened as I realised how awfully slow and stupid I must have appeared to Madison.

“I’m going to guess that the answer is no?” Madison raised her eyebrows at me and I was sure my expression said all she needed to know to confirm her suspicion.

“Wait, did you find the present Alli and I left in your bag?” Madison now looked confused.

“Oh yeah. I found that-that very unexpected gift,” I could feel my cheeks heat up again at the thought of the Victoria Secret lingerie Alli and Madison bought me for my birthday.

“You didn’t try it on and give Cam a bit of a show or something?” Madison was looking a little disappointed on my behalf.

“No!” I cried out, probably a little too loudly.

Truthfully, I hadn’t even taken the lingerie out of the gift bag. Once we’d gotten home I’d hidden the Victoria Secret bag and its contents somewhere in the depths of my wardrobe. I hadn’t even thought about it since.

“How did you even know what size I was? I don’t even know what size I am!” I asked incredulously. “And why white?”

Madison waved her hand like the whole thing was nothing, “I’m pretty good at guessing sizes. And we picked white because isn’t white meant to be pure and, I don’t know virginal.”

“Whoa, ok let’s change the subject please,” I held up my hand to stop the conversation in its tracks.

Madison shot me small smile, but didn’t protest.

“No wait, hold on,” I backed up. “Have you and Jack, you know….”

“Slept together?” Madison finished my sentence.

I was going to nod my agreement, but then reconsidered at the last minute, “No wait, never mind. I don’t want to know.”

I flopped back onto Madison’s bed and covered my face with the pillow she’d thrown at me. I closed my eyes and let out a groan, which was muffled by the pillow.

“Talking about this really makes you uncomfortable doesn’t it?” I could feel Madison studying me closely.

“Uncomfortable-no. Well maybe a little. I just- it just wasn’t really something on my radar or even close to it. I haven’t really thought about it,” I said slowly, explaining it to myself just as much as I was explaining it to Madison

Sex honestly hadn’t been on my mind at all. But I couldn’t help but wonder if it had been on Cameron’s. We’d never talked about it and it had never come up. Though, I wasn’t sure how sex could just casually come up in conversation. We’d been together for only a few months, which didn’t seem like a long time to me. But was it long enough for sex to be a commonly expected thing in a relationship of that length. I had no idea and thinking about it only made my head hurt. 

“Fine let’s talk about the Teen Choice Awards then,” Madison drew my attention out of my swirling thoughts.

We chatted about the upcoming awards show for a long time. Madison informed me that she already knew what she was wearing, which just happened to be a Versace dress. In fact, Madison was so organised she already had he hair and make up people lined up as well. I suddenly felt crazy behind because I didn’t have anything organised at all.

The TCAs were only a few days after the concert Cameron and I were going to, which was only a week or so away. Things were creeping up fast and before I knew it, it’d be my album’s release day. While Madison chatted about what her dress looked like, I wondered whether Cameron knew what he was going to wear. It’d be cute to coordinate or match colours, but I doubted he’d even thought about it either.

On my way home from Madison’s I called Mandy and was relieved to find out that she, at least, was onto the outfit situation or the TCAs. Mandy had been around the house quite a bit, but mostly for Chase. As far as I knew the two of them were incredibly happy together, which of course made me happy. I only wished that Chase talked to me about it a bit more, but I respected that it wasn’t really any of my business. But I kind of felt like I didn’t know what was going on with him lately and that stung a little.

Mandy assured me that she’d come over and go through some options for styles and whatnot and I made a mental note to ask Cameron about the TCAs. Then it occurred to be that I was going to the TCAs because I was nominated for 2 awards and I haven’t even thought about voting. The votes weren’t that important to me, just being nominated at all was rewarding enough. But I was also meant to present an award which I’d completely forgotten about. What award was I presenting? Was I presenting by myself?

That was just another thing to add to my to do list. A list which only seemed to grow and currently seemed about a mile long. Despite all the things I needed to get sorted, my brain just continually circled back to one thing. The semi-awkward conversation I’d had with Madison about sex.

Even once I’d gotten home from Madison’s place it was still stuck in my thoughts. Did the topic make me uncomfortable? Looking back, I could see why Madison may have thought that id did. I mean, I couldn’t even say the word ‘sex’ out loud. What bothered me the most about the whole thing was that I didn’t know how to approach the subject. I didn’t know how to, or if I should, talk to Cameron about it.

It wasn’t as though I didn’t want to have sex with Cameron. I hadn’t really thought about it until Madison brought it up, but I did. I just wasn’t there yet. It was a big step and I just wasn’t ready yet. I mean, I certainly appreciated shirtless Cameron, but completely naked Cameron just felt like a whole other thing.

And then the thought of being completely naked in front of someone else made me nervous. There was no hiding, everything about my body that made me feel insecure would be on display. But then just thinking such things made me feel like a traitor. Like I was saying I didn’t trust Cameron. But I did. I trusted him with my heart, which was hard enough for me to do. However, having sex with Cameron felt as though I were giving him all of me. Heart, body and soul. That’s what had me so cautious. I’d never given someone else so much of myself before and the idea scared me.

The maddening thing was I couldn’t tell if I was making it into a bigger deal than it was. Was I making a mountain out of a mole hill? I knew if I didn’t push the thoughts aside I’d lose sleep over it. So that’s what I did, or tried my best to do. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t catch myself letting my imagination run wild every now and then.

I focused my energy on the interviews I did and the release of my next single off my album. Time flew by and the pregnancy rumours died off. The second single skyrocketed up the charts and life seemed to return to normal medium. Soon enough the only thing that occupied my mind was our trip to Santa Clara for what Cameron and I had dubbed: ‘Operation Surprise Shawn’. In fact I was so excited for the trip that I was practically bouncing off the walls for the entire week leading up to it.

Cameron and I made our kick ass sign a few days before the trip and it was certainly quite awesome, if I do say so myself. I decided well ahead of time what I was going to wear to the 1989 concert and had my bag packed neatly a full two days before the trip. All that was left to do was get there. The anticipation that had built up for both Cameron and I had us grinning like fools.

Neither Cameron nor I could wait to surprise Shawn. The one thing I knew for sure about the trip that Shawn’s expression when he saw us in the crowd was, without a doubt, going to be priceless.

A story about a girl who goes through personal tragedy and moves to L.A. for a fresh start. Along her journey of self discovery she meets a few of the Magcon guys and begins to fall for Cameron Dallas.

Finding Heart - Prologue

Finding Heart - Chapter 1: Meeting Gilinsky

Finding Heart - Chapter 2: Spending the Day with Madison    

Finding Heart - Chapter 3: The Party (Part 1)  

Finding Heart - Chapter 4: The Party (Part 2)  

Finding Heart - Chapter 5: The Dog Park

Finding Heart - Chapter 6: Photoshoot with Bryant

Finding Heart - Chapter 7: Sparring With Cameron

Finding Heart - Chapter 8: Beach Day

Finding Heart - Chapter 9: Music Video

Finding Heart - Chapter 10: Cooking Dinner for Cameron

Finding Heart - Chapter 11: Filming a YouTube Video

Finding Heart - Chapter 12: First Date

Finding Heart - Chapter 13: Netflix and Deep Talk

Finding Heart - Chapter 14: Meeting the Family

Finding Heart - Chapter 15: Birthday Surprise