#finding freedom

By the time you arrived at base the next morning, Phoenix was already waiting for you with coffees in hand, smirking as you both dragged yourselves into the classroom, exhausted. 

“Morning, lovebirds.” She laughed, following behind and sitting across the row from you and Bradley with Bob. 

“Thanks for the coffee, Nix.” You smiled tiredly, “You’re a Goddess.” 

“I am! Thank you for noticing.” She replied, “All rested and ready for the day?”

Both of you just looked at her, unimpressed, making her laugh. Bob looked very confused by the exchange. 

“How was dinner with your Godparents, Siri?” He asked.

“It was amazing.” You replied, smiling brightly, “So great to be with family and reconnect. Thank you for asking, Bob.”

“Of course.” He smiled.

“Holy shit,” Jake said walking in, “Did y’all know that Admiral Ron “Slider” Kerner is on base today? Siri and Bob, y’all should get some pointers from him. He’s legendary. Backseater to Admiral Kazansky back in the day.”

“Aww looks like Hangman is giving Fanboy competition for the call sign.” Phoenix snickered. You and Bradley stayed silent, but shot Phoenix a silent plea to not egg Jake on. 

“He’s not wrong though.” Bob said, “To learn from him would be the dream.”

Thankfully the subject was dropped and everyone started filing in. Mav came in, and got started briefing everyone for the day. As he’d said before letting them go the day before, they were grouped up and they’d be flying as if on the mission today out on the course. 

Apart from being a really long and frustrating day, full of getting shot down due to not making it through the course fast enough, or shot down because you just weren’t cohesive as a team, it was at least a less uneventful day than the previous one on the course. Nobody went into g-lock and nobody had to punch out. 

Tensions were high though when everyone was back on the ground and in the classroom debriefing. 

“Why did you die?” Mav asked you about the second run. This one you’d succeeded in the mission itself but were shot down on the way out.

“We were intercepted on the way out.” You replied tightly, before adding “After successfully completing the mission.” 

“The point is to execute the mission and return home.” Mav replied, his jaw clenching. He had to swallow the bile that had risen at the thought of you actually being shot down before he could continue, on, “Why did you die in the first run?” He’s turned to Phoenix and Bob.

“Because our mission leader left us hanging to dry and we couldn’t fight our way out.” Phoenix said, glaring at Jake, “We got blasted before we could even get to the target.”

“So lack of teamwork and communication.” Mav said. “In this mission you have to fly like everyone’s life is on the line… because it is. You’re flying like you don’t think this mission is possible. Until you believe it is, until you set aside your own egos and start working as a team, you’re going to keep failing. Dismissed.”

The next few days were the same, but with tensions increasing. It almost came to blows one afternoon when in the debriefing Mav was once again lecturing on the need to fly a certain way. He was pushing Bradley to fly faster. 

“With all due respect, Rooster and Siri are the only ones that have made it through the course successfully and closest to the time.” Bob said, defending him. 

“But would have been intercepted on the way out.” Mav said. 

“Then it’s a dogfight.” Bradley said. 

“Against 5th generation fighters?” Mav fired back. “With superior technology?”

“It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot.” Bradley said, throwing Mav’s words back at him from earlier in their training. 

“Exactly!” He said. 

“More than one way to fly this mission.” Bradley continued. 

“You really don’t get it. On this mission, a man flies like Maverick … or a man does not come back.” Jake piped up, turning to look at Bradley. Something you couldn’t place, shining in his eyes. “No offense intended.”

“And yet somehow, you always manage.” Bob said, leaning to look at Jake.

“I don’t mean to criticize..” Jake said, turning slightly. 

“Lieutenant.” Mav interrupted, in warning. 

“Look, we’re going into combat, Son, on a level no living pilot’s ever seen,” He continued as if not hearing, then turning to Mav, said, “Not even him.” He turned back to Bradley and added, “That’s no time to be thinking about the past.” 

You got a sinking feeling in your gut where this was heading and placed a hand on Bradley’s thigh. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bradley asked, his voice low, as he looked at Jake.

“Rooster.” Mav cautioned, then looked over at Jake. Surely your dad would stop him.

“I can’t be the only one that knows that Maverick flew with his old man, or that..” Jake kept going. 

“That’s enough.” Mav said, 

“Maverick was flying when his old man was..” Jake was cut off as Bradley launched from the chair across the aisle. 

The room erupted into chaos.You, Phoenix, and Bob tried to grab Bradley to keep him from pummeling Jake, while Javy, Fanboy, and Fritz pulled Jake back. Everyone else got in between to act as a buffer. 

“You sonofabitch!” Bradley yelled, angry. 

“Enough!” Mav called out over everyone. 

“I’m cool, I’m cool.” Jake said, shaking off everyone holding him. “He’s not cut out of this mission.”

“That’s enough!” Mav said again. 

 “You know it.” Jake said, walking to the aisle, to leave, “You know I’m right.” 

Jake pushed past everyone, making sure to get in Bradley’s face on his way by. You moved, putting your hand on Bradley’s chest again to keep him from pummeling Jake. 

“You’re all dismissed.” Mav said, breathing hard. You knew Jake bringing up the accident that had killed Goose would take a toll on your dad, but at the moment your main concern was your husband. 

“Come on, Baby.” You said gently, “Let’s go… let’s go home.” 

He let you lead you blindly from the room, and out into the fresh air. You could tell he was very close to losing his composure and you wanted to get him as far away from everyone as possible before he did so. 

“Siri!” Phoenix called from behind you. 

“I need to get him out of here.” You told her, when you paused to turn around.

“I know.” She said, handing you both Bradley’s and your bags, “Just wanted to give you your stuff. Call me if you need anything. And bonus points if it involves kicking Bagman’s ass.”

“Will do. Thank you NIx.” You replied, smiling. 

When you got Bradley to the Bronco, you automatically guided him to the passenger side. He was in no shape to drive and honestly, he was still pretty out of it. 

“I know you can’t focus on a lot right now, B.” You said, as you started the Bronco, “But I need you to hear me. I love you so damn much. You are my everything. Jake was fucking wrong.” 

Bradley reached over for your hand, holding on like you were his anchor. You squeezed his hand back, silently communicating you weren’t going anywhere. 

“Go take a shower, Handsome.” You said, once you got to the apartment, “I’ll order food and then we can snuggle on the couch tonight and block out the world.”  You framed his face with your hands, bringing his face down and kissing him gently. You were about to pull back so he could go shower, but his arms came around you, holding you tightly to him. 

“Just need to hold you.” He mumbled against your lips, kissing you again slowly. You slid your hands from his face, moving your arms around his neck. The kiss didn’t turn passionate, it was purely comfort seeking, intimate, a declaration of love. It was finding shelter from the storm…finding the normal when everything else is in upheaval. You were each other’s rock. In that moment, Bradley needed you to be his. So you held on to him and poured as much love and warmth into him as you could, trying to fill all the cracks currently threatening to break him. 

You’re not sure how long you ended up standing there holding each other and kissing, but eventually you felt him take the first deep breath since the altercation with Jake. A tiny bit of the tension released from his shoulders 

“Ready to take a hot shower while I order us food?” You asked him, “Then we can snuggle on the couch or bed while we eat and watch TV. We’ll block out the world.” 

“Yeah.” He whispered. “I love you, Baby.”

“I love you too.” You replied, offering a soft smile. 

While he was in the shower, you ordered pizza from the only place on base that would deliver, and then decided to send a text to Uncle Slider. You didn’t want to bother Aunt Sarah or Uncle Ice but you were pretty sure Uncle Sli would know what to do.

You: S.O.S  really shitty day, Uncle Sli. Bradley is in really bad shape. Hangman was a dick… brought up Goose and the accident… said Bradley wasn’t cut out for the mission. 

You didn’t even have to wait long for a response. He must have been on his phone already or at least near it.

Uncle Sli: I heard, Honeybee. Wanted to go punch the little shit. Sarah and Tom are asking if you and Little Goose want to come over?

You: I didn’t want to bother them… I just ordered a pizza and B is in the shower. 

Your phone rang shortly after you sent the text. Your uncle decided he’d had enough texting apparently. 

“Hi Uncle Sli.” You said, answering the phone. 

“Don’t ‘Hi, Uncle Sli me, young lady.” He replied, “As soon as Little Goose is out of the shower and that pizza is delivered, put it in the fridge and get your butts over here. No arguments…. Not wanting to bother… you’re lucky it was a bad day, Honeybee.”

“Yes, Sir.” You giggled at your uncle. “Sorry, Uncle Sli.”

“See you soon, Honeybee.” He chuckled, “Aunt Sarah has food waiting for you both. Love you.”

“Love you too.” You replied. 

Bradley came out of the bedroom with his hair damp, making his curls more defined. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a UVA t-shirt. He looked a little calmer than when he’d gone in. 

“Who was on the phone?” He asked, wrapping his arms around you. 

“Uncle Sli.” You replied, turning in his embrace and sliding your arms around his neck. “We’ve been ordered to pop the pizza in the fridge and get our butts over there…. They heard about today.”

“Aunt Sarah and Uncle Ice have enough on their plates and have already done so much since we got here.” Bradley sighed, “They deserve time with just the kids…not having to deal with me.”

“First of all, I don’t think they see it as ‘dealing with you.’” You corrected, “They love you. Second, I had intended for just Uncle Sli to come hang out… then he said Aunt Sarah and Uncle Tom asked if we were coming. I told him we didn’t want to bother them… that’s when he called. I got an earful for that one.”

“Kinda feels like we’re kids again.” Bradley scoffed. “I guess we’re heading over there. Go grab a shower. I’ll take care of the pizza when it’s delivered.”

You kissed your husband before heading off to the bedroom to get out of your uniform and hit the shower. 

Twenty minutes later you were headed towards your aunt and uncle’s yet again. You meant it when you’d told Uncle Sli you didn’t want to bother them. It really did feel like since you’d been back and reconciled you’d been monopolizing them. You knew Uncle Tom’s time was short and you wanted his kids to have as much of his undivided attention as possible. At the same time, it really did feel good to have someone to go to when life got hard. 

When you pulled up, it was as if Aunt Sarah had been watching for you, because she was out the door and on the porch waiting to usher you both inside, but not before pulling Bradley into a fiercely tight hug. When she let him go to lead the way inside you saw tears in his eyes. 

Once inside, Uncle Sli was there to intercept, hugging both of you, then giving you a stern look. 

“Don’t let me ever hear you say you don’t want to be a bother again, understand?” He said, in the same no-nonsense voice he used to use on the two of you growing up when he was tag-teaming with your dad and Uncle Tom. 

“Sorry Uncle Sli.” You replied. “In our defense, it just feels like since we’ve been back we’ve kinda monopolized time that should be going to the y’all and the kids as a family and we really didn’t want to be a burden…”

“You two are family and we are all always here for you if you need us. Bradley… especially in regards to what went down today… and the wounds that opened… “ Aunt Sarah chimed in, “I know you need Tom and Ron to get you out of your head, Sweetheart. Tom’s in the office.. You two go on up, while I talk with my Godchild.” 

Bradley turned to you and looked to make sure you were ok. You gave him a soft smile and kissed him, “Go. Aunt Sarah’s right. The best thing for you right now is to be with the Uncles.” 

Uncle Slider led  Bradley up to Uncle Tom’s office and Aunt Sarah led you to the kitchen. 

“I’ll get you something to eat.” She said, “Then when Bradley gets down, I’ll send you up to your Uncle while I feed him.” 

“I really do feel like this is becoming a habit for us.” You said, “I promise we’re able to function as adults.”

“Sweet Girl, functioning as an adult doesn’t mean you have to go it alone or that you magically stop needing someone to take care of you every once in a while.” She said, “Besides, I have several years of getting to take care of you to make up for.”

“That was our fault, not yours.” You insisted. 

“Neither here nor there.” She smiled, “Now tell me, how much damage did that cocky ass pilot do today with his comments?”

“It was awful, Aunt Sarah.” You sighed, “At first, Bradley was just angry and wanting to pummel Hangman. Honestly, I wish we would have let him get one solid hit in. But then, I think his words really sunk in… and it cut him so deeply, because it was playing on fears and insecurities already there. That dickhead said Bradley wasn’t cut out for the mission… told dad that and then said, ‘you know I’m right.’ in his cocky ass voice.”

“Oh, no.” She sighed, “He already believes Pete doesn’t believe in him or think he’s ‘good enough’... and was already doubting himself. I’m sure Lieutenant Seresin’s words didn’t help at all. Especially paired with bringing up the accident when Pete and Goose went down.”

She handed you a plate of grilled chicken with steamed veggies and some pasta leftover from the wedding. 

“When we left, he was barely holding it together.” You said, “He was just numb and had turned in on himself…completely in his head. Then when we got to the apartment he just needed to be held. I’m scared, Aunt Sarah. To fly this mission and come home in one piece, I need him to be out of his head… he has to be able to trust in himself and his skills and to just fly. He can make it through the course…we’ve done it, just not in the time limits. I need him to fly faster but he plays it safe. Part of me worries it’s me holding him back.”

“You think he’s holding back because you’re in the cockpit with him.” She asks. “Playing it safe to make sure you’re safe?”

“Possibly.” You sighed, “Which is the opposite of what will happen on the mission. Flying too slow puts us at risk of being intercepted by the enemy, which means we fail.”

“What are you thinking, Sweetheart?” She asked, “Because, I know you’re working out solutions in that head of yours.”

“Nothing that I want to do.” You replied, poking at the food. “If I tell him we need to fly faster, I’m siding with Bagman and that feels like a betrayal. I can’t have dad talk to him. If I say nothing and we go in like we are now… he’ll never forgive himself if something happens. Or… I get myself removed as his backseater so he can fly like he’s meant to without worrying about me.” 

“Sweetheart, I know you’re in an impossible place right now.” Sarah said, “You’re going to have to make a choice that you can live with. With that said, I would talk to him. Communication is one of the most important parts of a strong marriage. Tell him what you’re thinking, talk through it together as the team you are.”

“I’ll try talking to him tomorrow.” You said, “Did dad stop by to see Uncle Tom? Or text? He looked rough too. My priority will always be Bradley though.”

“He didn’t, but Tom texted him and told him to be here tomorrow night and that it was an order.” Sarah laughed. “Ron was in his office when Pete got back after everything went down and said your dad looked pretty stricken. That’s how we found out. Pete’s with Penny tonight.”

“I hope she knows what she’s getting into with him.” You sighed, “You’d think after the amount of times as he’s broken her heart she’d just give him the boot.”

“Love makes us do crazy things.” She replied, smiling “In all honesty, I think parts of your dad have changed.”

“Guess only time will tell.” You said, “I just hope Penny and Amelia don’t end up hurt.”

Conversation steered to lighter conversations while you ate, then a short while later, Bradley came down with Uncle Slider. 

“Honeybee, Ice would like some time with his favorite Goddaughter.” He said, winking.

“Is it even worthwhile mentioning anymore that I’m his only Goddaughter?” You laughed. 

“Nope.” Aunt Sarah laughed, “And even if he had more, you’d always be his favorite because you were his original.” 

You just shook your head and got up to head upstairs. You paused, wrapping your arms around Bradley and stealing a kiss, “Feel better?” 

“A little.” He smiled, leaning in to steal another kiss from you, “Work in progress.”

“Aren’t we all?” You smiled, “I love you, Roo.” 

“I love you too, Baby.” He replied. 

You entered your uncle’s office quietly, noticing that he looked more tired and run down than he had in previous days. He looked up, seeing you, he smiled and waved you in. You went over and leaned over to hug him before sitting down. 

“Hi, Uncle Tom.” You said, smiling softly. “How are you feeling today?”

“Hi Lovebug.” He smiled weakly, “I won’t be running any marathons but I’m here.  I’m more worried about how you’re doing. And don’t try to pull one over on me or tell me you’re fine.”

“I think that you and Aunt Sarah secretly communicate telepathically.” You said, leveling him with a blank stare. “I’m scared Uncle Tom. I’m really struggling here and I don’t know what to do. I love Bradley with every fiber of my being and nobody believes in him more than I do. I know he’s an amazingly skilled pilot and I literally trust him with my life. But this mission is like NOTHING we’ve done before… nothing like anyone has done before, not even my Dad. Bradley’s the only one that’s made it through the course successfully…just not fast enough. He flys too safe, Uncle Tom…and normally, he can do that and get the job done. This time, he has to take calculated risks…he has to fly fast, be able to go on instinct but… I think he’s scared… When it comes down to it, I don’t think he’ll be able to fly aggressively if I’m in the cockpit with him. He’s afraid of something happening like Dad and Goose and it would kill him. BUT… he still has all this anger and these feelings like he has to prove to my Dad that he was wrong. I’m scared Jake just made it that much worse today. His words were meant to hurt Bradley. I really want to kick him in the dick…. Sorry… “

Your uncle chuckled at that, which drew a small smile from you. He took a moment and then nodded before turning to type. 

“I have no doubt that growing up hearing stories about his dad and Mav and seeing the aftermath of that accident…what it did to Carole, what it did to Mav… and even how it affected the little boy he was when it happened… had a tremendous impact on Bradley, and has shaped the man he is as well as the pilot he is. I also have no doubts that he takes your safety as his backseater very seriously…probably prioritizes it over his own safety even. He will do anything and everything in his power to make sure that what happened to his dad doesn’t happen to you, Lovebug. You’re not just his best friend or brother figure like Goose was to Mav. You’re that boy’s entire world.”

“So what do I do,  Uncle Tom?” You asked, feeling close to tears, “I’m afraid if I tell him he needs to fly faster and stop playing it so safe…he’s going to feel like I’m siding with Jake… that I don’t believe in him. I can’t lose him… Flying with him…being his backseater has become my comfort too. When I’m in the air with him, I don’t have to worry about him. I don’t know if I could stand on the carrier and watch him launch without me…”

“Slider and I tried to reiterate to him that what happened with his dad was a freak accident that could have happened to any one of us at any time in our careers. He’s feeling a lot of pressure… a lot of it is from himself. Like you said, Lovebug, he’s out to prove  himself, but he won’t do it at the expense of you. He isn’t willing yet to see that Mav… while exasperating from a superior’s standpoint… is the best one to be teaching you all right now and your only shot at succeeding and coming home. He’s hard headed. You have to decide if it’ll be best for the mission and best for everyone’s safety if you request to be reassigned with a new front seater or if this is something you and Bradley can talk through. Personally, my sweet girl… If it were me… I would talk to him, be open and honest and see if there’s a compromise in there. I will tell you though that this is exactly the reason that the Navy tends to shy away from allowing this kind of thing. You have to be ready for them to force you to fly with different aviators once they’re made aware you’re married.” 

“I hate this, Uncle Tom.” You sighed, “It shouldn’t have to be this difficult. If it weren’t for all of the other wonderful things that have happened since coming back to San Diego, I would wish we were still on the carrier in the middle of the ocean… but I wouldn’t trade this time with you for anything in the whole world.”

“I can’t tell you how much this time has meant to me, my little Lovebug. No matter what happens, whether or not you and Bradley fly the mission, I want you to know how incredibly proud of you I am. How proud of you I’ve always been. Never once have I ever stopped loving you and wanting to give you the world. I wish I could be here to see you and Bradley become parents someday. To spoil those babies and tell them all the crazy things their parents got up to as kids. I wish I could be here to see you and Bradley keep advancing in your careers… because I know that you will accomplish whatever it is you set out to do. I just wish for more time. But I know that is something we’re running out of…  no, no… no tears… “  He paused as he saw you wiping tears frantically from your face, “My girl, I’ve made peace with this… I’ve cheated death enough in my life…this time it’s just not meant to be. But I need you to hear me when I say that I love you with everything that I am. I do not want you to hold on to any misplaced feelings of guilt for anything that happened. You stole my heart from the very first moment your dad brought you over in a panic in mismatched clothes and pigtails all askew. I will never leave you, Lovebug. I will always be flying with you.”

“Uncle Tom, I’m not ready.” You sobbed, the tears falling freely, unable to stop them. He stood and pulled you up, wrapping you tightly in his arms, slowly swaying with you like he used to do to comfort you when you were a child. You buried your face against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, taking comfort in the familiar smell of him. “I just got you back. I don’t want to say goodbye again. I know that’s selfish but I can’t help it. I love you so much… you’re supposed to be here when Roo and I have kids so you can be the fun but responsible Papa. We need you here to give us guidance on how to not fuck it all up. I want you to be there for every pinning ceremony and promotion… there when we decide we’ve had enough and tap out…. “

He pulled back enough to give you his ‘knowing look’ and smile softly, one of his hands coming up to smooth the tears away. 

“But you will be with us, won’t you.” You said, doing your best to smile back at him… to be brave. “You’ll be there because you’ll be in our hearts. Because you’re a part of all of us. I am who I am because of you… your love, your support, everything you taught me, the beliefs you instilled in me. You’ll still be with me because I’ll carry you with me. I will cherish all of my memories of you from my entire life… but I think this past week has been some of best, despite everything. Thank you for walking me down the aisle, for giving me away. Thank you for giving me the best wedding I could have ever imagined. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and being a voice of reason when I needed it. Most of all, thank you for being the best Godfather a girl could EVER want. I love you bigger than the universe and not even stupid death will cheat that.” 

Now it was your turn to wipe tears from your Uncle’s cheeks, smiling through your own. He pulled you tightly into another hug, kissing the top of your head. You could tell by the change in his breathing that he was getting tired, so taking a deep breath, you squeezed him tightly one more time before stepping back. 

“You should get some rest.” You told him, “I need to collect B and head home. I’m sure tomorrow is going to be another fun-filled day of Hangman running his mouth… and I’ll be less likely to punch him if I’m not sleep deprived.”

He chuckled, tugging on a piece of your hair that came loose, “Love you.” He rasped, “Sweet Lovebug.”

“I love you too, Uncle Tom.” You replied, “See you soon.”

As you walked down the stairs, you did your best to pull yourself back together. Coming over had been about making sure Bradley was ok after today and trying to help him… somehow now you were an emotional wreck. 

Uncle Slider was waiting at the foot of the stairs when you got there, arms open and ready for you. It was as if he just knew that it was going to be a hard visit. Then again, he probably knew Uncle Tom better than anyone (except maybe Aunt Sarah) and knew that the end was near too. 

“Come here, Honeybee.” He said, softly. You went straight to him, melting into his arms, the tears instantly flowing again. “I know, my sweet sweet girl.” 

Somehow he led you to the sitting room and to the couch, sitting down and pulling you against him, just holding you as you cried it all out. Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew that your Uncle had just said his goodbyes to you. That you had said your goodbye to him. Your heart was now shattered. 

“It’s why we insisted you both come over sweetheart.” He said gently, “He knows he’s running low and it’s almost time to punch out.”

“I’m not ready, Uncle Sli.” You gasped, trying to suck air into your lungs, “He can’t leave me yet… it’s not fair.”

“I know little one.” He replied, his own voice cracking, “None of us are ready… It’s a sign of how much we love him. But because we love him we need to let him go… to stop hurting. He’s exhausted and his body can’t fight anymore.”

“Uncle Sli… that was goodbye wasn’t it.” You whispered, reaching a point where you were cried out and felt broken. 

“Maybe so, Honeybee.” He replied brushing loose strands of hair off your face and turning to kiss the top of your head. “But you got that opportunity. You were able to let him know how much you love him… hear how much he loves you. He was there to see you  marry Little Goose, and walk you down the aisle.”

Bradley came in to check on you having finished his dinner. He wanted to give you time with Uncle Sli but couldn’t stand not making sure you were ok.  Aunt Sarah had gone up to check on Uncle Tom and the kids. 

“Oh shit…Baby…” He said softly, sitting on the couch next to you. He leaned into you, sandwiching you between him and Uncle Sli, and kissed your shoulder. He knew there wasn’t anything he could say that would make anything better. 

You were all just sitting in silence when both Bradley’s and your phone phone pinged with a message at the same time. 

“That can’t be good.” He groaned quietly. He pulled his phone out to look. You didn’t move to look at yours, knowing it would be the same message. “It’s Mav… we’re to report to the beach behind the Hard Deck in  the morning in athletic wear for team building.” 

“What is that crazy SOB up to?” Uncle Slider chuckled, “Whatever it is, good luck.”

“Wonder if he got permission for this little fieldstrip.” You questioned. “Guess we should probably go…”

“You two going to be ok?” Uncle Slider asked, “You both know you can call me anytime day or night and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

“We know, Uncle Sli.” Bradley said, “We’ve always known we have you.”

“Love you, Uncle Sli.” You said, “Honestly don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“Not gonna have to find out, Honeybee.” He said, “Love you too. You kids go home and rest… regroup. Tomorrow is a new day, ok?”

“Tell Aunt Sarah we love her and thank you …for… well, everything.” You said, “I don’t want to interrupt her and Uncle Tom and the kids.”

“I will. And she knows.” He replied, “I’ll check in with you kids tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Uncle Sli.” You said, hugging him, and dropping a kiss on  his cheek. “Love you.”

“Sweet Dreams, Honeybee.” He replied, hugging you back, “Love you too.”

“Night, Uncle Sli.” Bradley said, stepping over to hug him, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Little Goose.” He said, returning the hug, “Love you, kid. G’night.”

You were headed out to the Bronco when your Dad pulled up on his motorcycle. Bradley looked over at you, squeezing your hand reassuringly. 

“It’s ok, B.” You whispered, squeezing his hand back. “You can get in the Bronco if you want.”

“Not leave you, Baby.” He replied. 

Your dad turned off the bike and got off of it. 

“I was hoping you two had made your way here.” He said quietly, when he was standing in front of you. “If you need anything…”

“We’ll be ok.” You assured him, “It’s good you came though…Uncle Tom is getting tired. I know you don’t like goodbyes but… Uncle Sli was right… at least we get the opportunity for one. Small blessings as they are. We’ll see you in the morning… go visit with Uncle Tom.”

“Bradley about today…” He started, then stopped, trying to find the words. 

“Probably best to leave it for now.” You said, feeling Bradley tense up. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” He replied, nodding. 

“Night.” You replied. Bradley started for the Bronco to the driver’s side. You paused, and turned back to your dad, “You should have told Hangman to shove it, Dad. That he was wrong. Something…”

Not waiting for a response, you got into the Bronco, your hand slipping into Bradley’s as soon as you were buckled. 

“I'm ready for this day to be over.” You sighed, “Let’s go home and forget the world exists for a few hours.”

“You got it, Baby.” He said, squeezing your hand. 

****

 The next morning you and Bradley, dressed in your athletic gear after a leisurely start, headed out the door. You took advantage of the much later start time and stopped to get coffee and breakfast from the cafe on the way to the beach. 

When you got to the parking lot some of the others were already there. You didn’t see Jake’s truck yet though so that was a blessing in disguise. You weren’t ready to deal with him yet.

“Don’t let Hangman get to you today, Roo.” You said, “Whatever insane scheme my father has cooked up… let’s just make the most of the day.”

The insane scheme turned out to be something he called Dogfight Football. 

“Two teams. You will be on offense and defense at the same time.” Mav said, “Like a dogfight. You’re all great pilots… you know that. Now it’s time to learn to work as a team.” 

You were divided up into  two teams and chaos ensued. You had to admit, this was one of your dad’s better ideas. The day ended up being a lot of fun and really what you all needed. It helped everyone to let loose and blow off steam but also actually did what he set out to accomplish and got you all working together. 

You’d actually been pleasantly surprised too that Jake hadn’t been  totally insufferable. He’d actually been almost pleasant to be around. Javy had caught you alone at one point and apologized for Jake and asked if Bradley was ok. You told him he didn’t need to apologize for his friend and that Bradley would be ok. You appreciated Javy, you liked him a lot, but you weren’t sure how he could put up with Jake’s crap all the time and not lose his mind. 

The next day you met with the news that the mission had been moved up and you’d be going in 10 days. Nobody had flown the low-level course successfully in the parameters, but you were moving on to phase 2. 

You went over the exact mission requirements, the parts broken down. Then you were going up in teams similar to what you’d done when you were getting used to flying the terrain and flying low. 

You and Bradley had been out with the first team and were now back listening in on comms as the other team was up. 

“Blue team you’ve been spotted,” Mav said 

“Shit it’s Maverick, what’s he doing here?” Javy asked

“I’m a bandit on course to intercept. Blue team, What are you going to do?” Mav responded. 

“He’s 20 miles left 10 o’clock. 700 knotts closure.” Bob said.

“Your call, what do you wanna do?” Javy asked Phoenix

“Continue. We’re close, stay on target.” She replied. 

“He’s swinging around to the north,!” Bob called out

 “stand by for pop up” Javy said

“Be ready on the lazer Bob.” Phoenix said. 

“Copy I’m on it.” He replied

“Blue team, bandit is still closing” Mav reminded them

“Popping now.” Javy said

“Talk to me Bob, where’s Maverick now?” Javy Asked

“He’s 5 miles out and coming fast” Bob replied 

“Target’s in sight, where’s my lazer Bob?” Javy asked 

“Dead eye! Dead eye! Sorry, I’m no good, I can’t get a lock.” He replied

“We’re out of time, I’m dropping blind.” He called, hitting the button, “Dammit! I missed.”

“That’s tone” Mav said.

“Shit Maverick’s got tone on us, we’re dead.” Phoenix said. 

 “Blue team, that’s mission fail. Level out.” Mav called. 

“Damnit, they were closer.” You said, still listening in. “How are any of us going to make it through the mission if we can’t even make it through the damn course?”

“We’ve still got some time, Siri.” Payback said, “We’ll get it figured out.”

“Coyote! Level out!” Mav yelled over the coms. 

“Shit, not again.” You whispered, “Come on, Coyote… “ You glanced at Jake who had gone pale. Without hesitating you stepped over to him and put your hand on his arm.  “He’s got this…”

Jake looked at you and nodded, his eyes still full of fear. 

You heard the automated voice of Coyote’s jet telling him to pull up and Mav yelling at him before finally, Coyote’s voice came over the comms, allowing everyone to breathe again. 

“I’m ok, I’m good.” He said 

“I told you he had it.” You told Jake. He gave you a small smile, some of the color returned to his face. 

They were heading back to base now but before anyone could go anywhere, you heard “Bird strike!” 

“Fuck.” You looked at Bradley and saw the pure terror in his eyes. 

Phoenix’s left engine had caught on fire… she tried climbing to correct.

“Throttling back. Shutting off fuel to left engine.” She said, doing what she was trained to do but fear present in her voice, “Extinguishing fire.”

“Right engine is out!”

“It’s still spinning!”

“Trying to restart it.”

“Phoenix it’s on fire! Don’t start it!

“Phoenix! Bob! Punch out! Punch out!” Maverick called

“Warning lights everywhere! Hydraulic failure!” 

“I can’t control it!” Phoenix said.

“We’re going down Phoenix! We’re going in! We’re going in!” Bo yelled

“You can’t save it!” Maverick yelled, pleading, “Eject! Eject!”

“Eject! Eject! Eject!” Phoenix yelled. 

You were over standing with Bradley, your arms tightly around one another, hearts racing. Barely breathing as you wait. 

“Come on… please….” you begged the universe.

“We’ve got chutes!” Javy called. “They cleared.”

“Recovery is enroute with paramedics.” Admiral Bates said, stepping into the room, knowing everyone would be listening. “They’re transponders are working so it shouldn’t take long.”

You sagged in relief,  Bradley holding you up. Tears had soaked his flight suit and you hadn’t realized you’d been crying. 

“They’re ok, Baby.” Bradley whispered, soothing you. “They’re ok. Everyone’s ok.”

Forty five minutes later they’d recovered Phoenix and Bob and were taking them to the hospital to get checked out. Javy had been cleared by medical when he landed and had rejoined everyone. Admiral Simpson dismissed everyone for the day and they all started to leave. 

“I’m going to go grab Phoenix’s stuff from her locker.” You told Bradley “She’ll probably want a change of clothes. You Ok?”

“Yeah… just… today was a lot.” He said, reaching for your hand and kissing your palm, “I think I need a minute.”

“Take your time, B.” You replied, leaning down to kiss him. “I’ll come back in here after I grab her stuff, ok?”

“Ok.” He replied. 

You headed to the locker room and grabbed Phoenix stuff from her locker, putting it in her bag and setting it on the bench while you grabbed stuff from your locker. You sat down on the bench, pulling the top part of your flight suit down and tying it around your waist before dropping your head into your hands and taking a deep breath. The events of the afternoon had taken a toll on you. Bradley had the right idea taking a moment to regroup. 

Your phone rang and hearing that it was the ringtone you set for your Uncle Slider you suddenly got a sinking feeling in your gut. 

“Hi Uncle Sli.” You answered, holding your breath and squeezing your eyes closed. 

‘Honeybee, are you on base?” He asked, his voice shaky. 

“Yeah.” You replied, quietly, “Roo and I are waiting on news about Nix and Bob… they had to eject…bird strike.”

“Is Bradley with you now?” He asked, “I’m on base and heading towards the hangars.”

“I’m in the locker room. I’ll meet you out front.” You replied, knowing that whatever he needed you for wasn’t going to be good news. 

After hanging up you grabbed Nix’s bag and yours and headed outside. Please don’t let Uncle Tom be gone… not today… don’t be that cruel. You begged the universe. 

You didn’t have to wait long outside. And as soon as your Uncle came into view the look on his face told you everything you needed to know. The bags you’d been holding hit the ground and you would have joined them but arms grabbed you from behind keeping you upright. A gut wrenching sob left your body, the grief instant.

“Whoa, Siri.” Jake soothed, “It’s me… I’ve got you. You’re ok.”  You’d turned and were clinging to him. He looked up when Slider stepped over, his eyes shocked and panicked, “I’m not sure what happened.”

“He’s gone…” You cried, tears soaking Jake’s flight suit. “I just got him back.”

“Honeybee.” Uncle Slider said gently, fighting back his own tears at seeing you so broken, “Come here, baby girl.”

He gently gathered you into his arms, relieving Jake, who still looked distraught. You couldn’t catch your breath and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. It felt like the world was coming down around you. 

“He can’t be gone.” You gasped, “Please, Uncle Sli.”

“I’m so sorry, Honeybee.” He said, “He was just too tired to fight anymore.”

“Can I do anything?” Jake asked, worried and feeling very unuseful. “Get anyone?”

“Do you know where Bradley is?” Slider asked him, knowing you were not going to be very coherent. “And where Captain Mitchell is?”

“They’re both in the rec room.” Jake said, “I saw the Captain go in when I walked by and Rooster was in there waiting on news about Phoenix and Bob.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Slider said, “And thank you for catching her.” 

“Siri… Y/N… if you need anything.” Jake said, “Just… let us know, ok?”

“Thank you, Jake.” You whispered. 

“Come on, Honeybee. We need to go find your dad and Bradley.” Slider said, bending  down to grab the bags you’d dropped

“If one of those is Phoenix’s, Javy and I can take it to her.” Jake offered, “He wants to check on her…”

“Thanks.” You said, pointing to the duffle that was hers. 

Slider led you towards the rec room and the second you opened the doors to the building you could hear Bradley yelling. 

“Why did you pull our papers?” He yelled, “Why did you stand in our way?”

“You weren’t ready.” Your dad replied, his voice staying calm.

“Ready for what?” Bradley countered, you knew he was just trying to pick a fight. “Ready to fly  like you?”

“Ready to forget the book!” Your dad finally snapped back, “Don’t think, just do! You think up there, you’re dead! Trust me!”

“My dad trusted you.” Bradley fired back. “I won’t make the same mistake.” 

Slider rushed in, not wanting it to go further, knowing it was going to be a tough night all around. 

You walked in behind him. 

“Mav.” Slider said, walking over to him. Your dad looked up, saw your red swollen eyes and tear streaked face and then looked to Slider, who nodded. 

“When?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“About an hour ago.” Slider replied. “Sarah and the kids were with him.”

“Shit, Baby…” Bradley gasped, rushing over to you and pulling you into his arms. Your own came around him, holding him just as tightly as he held you. “I love you.. I’m so sorry. I’ve got you.”

“It feels like the whole damn world is coming down around me, B.” You whispered, “I can’t breathe, I can’t figure out which way is up anymore.”

“Breathe with me, Siri.” He replied, putting your hand on his chest and keeping your focus on him, walking through breathing exercises to try to return yours to normal. “That’s my girl. You’re doing so good.”

“Honeybee, you just focus on the sky and that’s where you’ll always find your center.” Slider said, coming over and rubbing your back while Bradley worked to regulate your breathing, “That’s where you’ll find Uncle Ice.”

“I will let Cyclone know you both need tomorrow for bereavement.” Mav said, his voice close to breaking, “Under the circumstances, I don’t see him being a dick about it.”

“Go home and get some sleep.” Uncle Slider said, “Then come to the house tomorrow. Aunt Sarah and the kids will need you.”

“Ok.” Bradley agreed, “Let me get you home, Baby.”

“Love you both.” Uncle Slider said, hugging you. “And Bradley… That Hangman guy… he caught Honeybee and kept her from hitting the deck before we came in here… was comforting her until I could get over to her. He might not be the greatest teammate in the air but he did have your wife’s back on the ground.” 

“Thanks, Uncle Sli.” Bradley said, “I’ll make sure to thank him… and cut him some slack. Love you”

“G'night, Dad.” You said as you passed your dad. “You should go to Penny’s… or Aunt Sarah’s.”

“Night, Sweetheart.” He replied quietly.

“Let’s go home, Roo.” You sighed. 

You walked out of the room and headed out to the parking lot. Neither of you saw Jake or Javy standing outside the rec room by the vending machines, floored by the news. 

***

A/N: I am sorry for any anguish I caused .... I cried twice writing this part.

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