#finch posting

i'm reading My Sweet Audrina rn, it's so good and cool and weird. it feels like i'm reading a novel set inside of a haunted dollhouse. the house full of clocks that make it impossible to know what time it is, no calendars, no measure of how old audrina is, only how long she has been "dead", time slipping away from her while her memories vanish, all of the months blurring together, all of it creates this intensely immersive bewildering horror. her helplessness is exactly the sense of helplessness i always felt when i was a child. there isn't any condescension, she's taken so seriously by the narrative (if not anyone else in her life) and her pain feels very real. she grounds the otherwise completely absurd, unreal quality of the life she has to live and makes it feel far less unbelievable. vera fascinates me as well, she's like a foil for audrina. her fragility and her petty cruelties feel as true to childhood as audrina's helplessness. i wish they could get along a little so they might both feel less alone :( i also find the horror audrina feels about sex, and the persistent sensuality of vera, how she's always trying to "corrupt" audrina as she has been "corrupted," so father might love her too, to be very heartbreaking. these are all just first impressions of the novel, i'm not very far into it (about 100 pages), i just needed to talk about it somewhere because i'm so in love with it. the sisterhood theme and the hauntedness remind me a little bit of Sharp Objects, i wonder if gillian flynn has read this....

petition for my partner’s father to not drag star away on valentines day because i’m ugly and he wishes i died