#finallyiwrite

Siluman was not her first name. It wasn’t her middle or her surname either. It was what she preferred others to assume. She loved the anonymity that had become her companion.

Tonight she was taking on her biggest project. She pulled out a pair of card keys and opened both doors in front of her. Pulling out equipment from the storage closet that she carefully prepared days before, made her recounted all her past experiences. It looked like a menial job but others were always fooled by her.

She felt her watch slipping down because of her cold sweat. She corrected it and counted down with a heavy breath. Without realizing she mixed the liquid in the bucket over and over. When she realized the fume had almost lulled her unconscious.

She grabbed a small bottle and shoved it onto her face. “Snap out,” she hissed. The lights turned off one by one and cued her to move. Her breath slowed down and she lifted everything off the floor. Carefully she unlocked the main hall and rolled the equipments in. She took another deep breath, turned the corner lights on, put on a cover mask, and dipped the mop into the solution. She dragged the mop and little by little the floor turned sparkly with her growing smile.

Hours after that, she hopped her way out of the building. Tossing the card keys into a cup of magnetic sand, she capped it off and hurled it into the muddy river bank. “Wish I can keep you,” she murmured and galloped away.

October, last year, I was in a middle of crisis of soon-must-be-independent-fresh-graduates-because-I'm-moving-to-a-big-city. A city that I heard very cruel, yet sophisticated, and most people either want to live or moving out from there. I guess this year's October, another crisis is coming, in a good way I think, because it's another level up for being a good woman and prepared for future ahead. I'll tell you later.

Getting a job in our hometown sounds a dreams come true for everyone. Really? Some may prove it right, and some may prove it left or i.o.w : wrong, and that's including me. Later I realised that my company was so messy in so many points. 2 months before I resigned, I start to look for another jobs.

And yes, I do believe in God's miracle and Mom's prayer are the best force to make you lucky and successful in life.

First, I remaking my portfolio into a… well, a bit more decent than before. Then I sent them to some popular and interesting Architectural consultant. Some reply, and some maybe too busy to do that. And I never expected to got a job interview at LABO, Bandung. Yes. Its LABO, guys. I read their 'The Mori' article in Archinesia #4 -when I was being an editorial team there- and… I'm impressed, very much about their work. It was a very big opportunity that… comes true beautifully. Even if I wasn't accepted (well, so many people applies there too, maybe they're better than me :p), it was so nice to talk about so many things with Mr. Deddy and Mrs. Nelly, personally, and I still embrace that moment up until now. It was really a honour to visit them and The Mori too, all by myself. :)

When I was busy looking for another Architectural Consultant, here goes my brother-in-law offering me to send my resume to Waskita Karya, one of the biggest contractors in Indonesia. Well, this is another opportunity, I think, and without any doubts I sent my resume copy there. The next day, I've got my interview invitation, and I was like… WHOA THIS IS TOO FASSSTTT… but hence, without any hesitation I go there. There was a construction management writing and verbal test, and surprisingly, I've got accepted as an estimator. Yes, another THIS IS TOO FAAASTTT sliding smoothly in my brain, lol. Later I know that the person that tested me was one of Head Project in Waskita Karya. Call me a lucky one.

Like I told you, there goes another crisis. To move (back again) in the big city (that somehow I miss its crowds so much) and to switch direction for being a good architect (again). First crisis was solved successfully, because my project now is in Solo, which is like my second hometown, and I stayed in my sister's house which is like my second home. So, comfy-meters is gracefully fulfilled.

And the second crisis?

Being an internship in IAAW for four months had brought my brain to the right path, to getting know architecture in a better way, and to bravely decide about my dreams. Life itself is a progress and dreams is all about how dare you to take another step for progressing yourself. And yes, the more you know, the more you don't know. As in architecture world, the more you want to learn and practice too with the right person in the right place. The demands is too damn high, but fate talks in opposite way.

Soon, I would love to decide this later. And deciding something new needs another brave side. Like when I decide to resigning, when I decide to move on from LABO, and when I decide to choose Waskita Karya than BCI Asia or WIKA Realty (yes I was getting a job interview too, there).

It's not all about progressing anymore. And I need to re-phrase my sentence before. Dreams is not only about taking a more steps ahead, but its also about how brave you to decide, bet your every best assets in this moment, and taking risks, like if you should jump higher between the hills, to see the tip of a rainbow after a hard rain.

Maybe for now, I decide to contemplating in the middle of warm room, while thinking how to pass through this hard rain.

For now. And I mean it.