#final answer

ohhhhh ethan my babygirl..... tired assistant x shitty boss will forever be one of my fav ship dynamics... my funky eel son

I don't actually think this is the last time we will discuss Octavian on this blog. However we've had a lot of good discussion about his character so I wanted to finalize my thoughts on the subject so that I have a reference I can look back on going forward.

Hello everyone, this post itself is a final conclusion of one of the aspects it's often touched in the manga story...and I finally found the answer to it.

P.S: Theories, analysis, thoughts are held in a neutral view, ships are excluded.

What is a reason to live? Why is it always emphasized on this story?

With the many chapters of the story, we've seen how many characters have talked about a "reason to live" right? Along this we've seen many "finding out one". But...

"Is finding a reason to live equivalent to live for others? Is it equivalent to fulfilling someone's dream?"

The answer to this is a big no. But why? Is there something backing this up?

Such answer lies on the next questions

Have you ever wondered why vampires become demons?

Why even humans can become demons?

Why do demons feed on desires?

Those questions actually can be answered on the very core of how vampires are made which is back when they were human beings.

The very main task of humanity is to find a purpose, to find a reason and a place in the world. Something that motivates you to live another day and struggle against the constant battles in life.

Thus, let's focus first on the very core group of the three that are bound by desires and emotions. Correct, the first group is

Humans

Despite humans being the most emotional group; humans are tasked with finding a purpose. Along the series, we've seen the MC state so many times he's going to live for someone, this also applies with Guren and Mahiru mainly. What do I mean?

Contrast to what it is believed, Yuu, Guren, Mahiru are characters that haven't found reasons to live; they're living for others along having objectives for others rather than themselves.

Guren ever since he was small he was raised to follow what it meant to be the head of the Ichinose Family. But that responsibility changed when he met Mahiru and saw himself as weak, unable to save the love of his life; adding to this, when his squad was defeated and killed, he was about to give up but he didn't and instead chose to follow the path he chose. Mahiru's destiny was set in stone if she wanted to see her baby sister alive, she had to quit any idea of actually living and finding a purpose. Yuu doesn't love himself, he craves love but there's not a single hint of him focusing on pursuiting a reason to live; a reason that can be called his for his own.

All these three have something in common and that is that they are demons, they've reached a step of becoming demons that exploit their desires.

But for that, let's explore the next group.

Vampires

Vampires have the normal desire to drink blood to live, which is an equivalent to humans eating and drinking water to live. Vampires are the group of humans that long gave up on life, they chose a different path instead of finding a path, to find a purpose and Mikaela is a prime example of that. He lives because Yuu is the being that pushes him to continue living but that's very different from actually willing to live along finding a reason to live.

Yuu is a motivation source, but not what Mikaela wants for his own self but let's not confuse that Mika has bad thoughts. But rather, Mikaela is an example of humans who aren't able to be strong against certain conditions and it's normal and something that shouldn't be criticized.

In special conditions, no matter the willpower one's soul carries, some things simply come like a wave, hitting us and overwhelming us. There can be sources that push us to continue but it's not akin as having the will.

This also applies with the vampire progenitors. They endured trials in their life but instead of walking in the path where the light of the sun lied, they chose the shadows. They resigned their humanity but in exchange, they became unable to find reasons to live.

Urd for example, given that he has no passion or lively emotions, he can only seek salvation through making vampires humans again, letting them find the final solace which is to die as a human being.

And given that we know that the final path for vampires is to become demons. Let's head towards such group.

Demons

The last step for vampires. But why do they become demons? Is that really the end?

Yes.

Vampires turn into demons not just because they can be made but rather, because they've never found out a reason to live. Hence as demons, they have a neverending craving of human desires so they can keep searching for eternity what they long lost and cannot seek. Demons are bound to get lost given that their former selves gave up in life to find a reason to live and exist.

One of the best examples for demons is Ashera Tepes. One who accepted the conditions of the First with the long dream of giving a happier world for his sister, Krul Tepes.

For sure, the day he died as a human, he was born as a vampire, he sought for his sister only to find her in her last breaths. But instead of allowing her to travel through the course of life no matter how painful it was, he made a choice for her. Krul didn't have a voice but rather his brother. The consequence? Krul was unable to die; she as a vampire was tired of living endlessly, with a never changing body, being unable to walk under the sun, being unable to walk on the path on which humanity walks and most importantly, being unable to the be ruler of her life.

Furthermore, even if he felt gratitude towards the First, what did Ashera even fulfilled? Did he have a personal dream for him? It will forever be unknown...he became someone that fed on desires given that demons have a chained need to them.

Then. What is to "find a reason to live?"

To find a reason, is to find a purpose, to give meaning to one's existance. It's not receiving or giving to someone given that people will be part of your path; but rather, it's actually deciding what you want to do, what dreams you want to achieve, to cry, to get angry, to stand up once again.

It's to literally choose why you want to keep standing, why a new day is a new opportunity, it's deciding your path for your own, not choosing for others but you alone, it's defining what makes you "you". What defines you exactly as the current being existing.

This couls be compared to our daily lives. What do we want to reach? You get emotion thanks to someone's art, speech, actions; then something like a flame bursts giving a fiery passion like emotion, and so, our actions begin but they're not made for selfishness. When you draw, when you create your first piece, what is it that you feel? When you manage to play your first song, what is it that you feel? When you make your first discovery, what kind of emotion is born? When you create your first story, what do you feel? When you conclude and give birth to new ideals, what is what your heart feels? When you pursuit a goal such as becoming number one or aiming to be first place or managing to do something that gives fulfillment, what kind of emotions are born?

But most importantly..

This is a delicate thread between being selfish vs giving love to one's self, embracing the concept of one's existance and walking firmly in this trip called life.

The squad right now, are having their own agenda, not Guren's, not Ferid's, not Mahiru's, nor Rigr's. But their own. They found a beacon of light but said beacon is motivating them to fight for what they want to achieve, for the very goals they have along finding for each other why they want to live and see a new tomorrow.

Mitsuba is slowly finding a reason, so will the boys do so as well.

Lastly, what differences humans from vampires in general, is that humans have the right to walk under the light for the very reason they keep fighting. Whereas vampires long lost the opportunity for that. They long abandoned the righteous path that would let them have a human heart.

Humans on the contrary, strive down a path until they leave a mark on the world. The memories they bury on Earth dance between the hearts of people they managed to connect with. And so it begins once again in a new cycle.

That's my answer.

😛

Hm, well I know a few people who still use that emoji

me , sophia, perhaps Lev, that's about the peak of people who use that - or maybe I'm completely forgetting people

"Meow! :3"