Rambling rant about chnt (mainly focusing on episode 52 and onwards!) (this will be mentioning Sydneyâs self destructive behavior; up and Adamâs devious plans; Jedidiahâs guilt/fear/anger; and a few other things) (including the rant about why people should not hate Fennel for the way they talked to Sydney)
Hi! This is just me saying that this rant wonât be as organized or formalized (if you can call it that) as my other rants about these topics! As I am a bit busy and these are just random thoughts I am trying to mold into the form of words. So without further ado, let us begin!:
I want to start this off with the rant about Fennelâs talking to Sydney thing. Because I have been saying I would write that down for what a month or so now?:Â
Fennel shouldnât be hated for what they said to Sydney regarding Soren and other things, because Fennel is clearly very worried, but not just for Soren. Hereâs what I mean by that; notice how they say that â[they] hope [Sydney] never has a loved one hurt the way [Soren] isâ which is an important line to think about, this is because they are (yes) worried about Soren, but also because they are worried that Sydney wonât be able to help/wonât be willing to help if someone he (Sydney) cares about is in trouble. And yes this doesnât excuse the way they said before that âno wonder everyone hates youâ and âyou are so meanâ but theres context here: first of all when Fennel first came in to talk to Sydney, they werenât aggressive. They simply were asking for help with Soren, (though weâll get to more on the matters of Soren later), and when Sydney outright refused to talk about it or try to help they were devastated, because they donât like seeing Soren hurt; think about it, you would probably do anything to help if a close loved one was hurt or was about to do something dangerous. What would you do if you were denied help for them?
Fennel is lashing out at Sydney due to the stress of seeing Soren hurt, but also to try and teach Sydney to take care of people/care for their feelings as well as his own.
Now to rant about Sydneyâs self destructive behaviors + up and Adam yayyyy:
First of all Up and Adam specifically suggested the therapy to Sydney because he knew Sydney couldnât resist it after some time and several factors causing stress in relationships; as we all know Sydney wants to be âeaten by something that loves [him]â. But this isnât love, not in the way that two people loving each other is love, but in the way a hunter loves its prey. What I mean to say is, Up and Adam is preying upon Sydneyâs vulnerabilities (which include him being insecure, and any stress in his relationship with Jedidiah), but he is doing this in such a way that its disguised as love. He acts as if heâs doing Sydney a favor, which is not true. Because, while it was VERY unethical for Jedidiah to do what heâs done, what Up and Adam is doing is just as bad if not worse.Â
Up and Adam may not be lying about being able to cause Sydneyâs death, but and this is a big but, if this goes too far then Sydney wonât be able to turn back if he decides this isnât the way. Adamâs way comes with a price to pay, and the cost is pretty large: to succeed in what heâs doing, Adam has to successfully push Sydney to withdraw himself from everyone (which heâs done a pretty good job in doing), make everyone tire of helping him, and get him to willingly give his blood and more.
So far Adam has gotten Sydney to be bitter towards everyone, by making him believe (through using his insecurities) more than he did before that people hate him. This has caused him to both ignore other peopleâs feelings but also to make private arguments public (like we saw with Joshua). And when heâs confronted for that, he either pushes people away more, or lets them get a bit closer temporarily only to push them away again when they offer solutions to his problems. Sydney has also willingly given Adam blood, an eye, satisfaction, and love, and fear. Adam is feasting on Sydney and in return only giving him pain; I didnât mention death, because he isnât giving Sydney it in the way that heâd wanted/normally would happen. Sydney is already self destructive in many ways, but Adam is specifically using this weakness and trauma and fear to get him to be more and more self destructive.
If youâve ever felt gross after Up and Adam either talked to or about Sydney in some way in any of the episodes (idk if you have), I wouldnât be surprised, because the man is essentially abusing Sydney, so subconsciously you know somethings not right about the way heâs talking about Sydney. And there is a plot reason for it, Adam takes joy in eating Sydney both in body and in emotion, he drinks in Sydneyâs fear, anger, sadness and fuels it, he eats Sydneys eye, and drinks his blood; he seems to have a reason he believes this to be a good thing. He is scared of Sydney, but is using this to grapple for power above him, he wants to feel strong, and to satiate his never-ending hunger.Â
Another point I would like to make is the fact that Adam is always eating snack foods and packaged foods, but those never fill him. We know hunger and love are connected in symbology for this at least, so I would like to purpose a theory: Adam is low on love, he craves it, and cannot get it, we see him desperately trying to fill himself with it through eating, eating snack foods, those werenât made with love, they were mass produced and packaged. He enjoys the taste, but they do nothing to fill him. When he realizes he canât fill himself with them, he uses them just to temporarily satiate himself until he can get more love/food. In this case, Sydney, he is eating Sydney, eating his love, eating his care, in the form of getting him to lay all of his trust upon Adam. By doing this Adam is bestowed with trust, love and food. The food is Sydney himself, given with care. This fills him because it is filled with a type of love, a twisted type of love yes, but still love. But, in a lot of symbology love is in the heart⌠is he saving that for last?
Adam is interesting to think about in comparison to Elijah, because both are trying to kill Sydney, for both different reasons and the same if you think about it. Because, Elijah was trying to make him live forever to worship and importantly feel the love of. While Adam is trying to kill Sydney while importantly drinking/eating his love. Both of them are doing it for love, both in twisted ways, but also very different ways.
Sydney is killing himself in mind, meaning he is making sure everyone around him would already consider him too far gone to save, so when heâs actually gone, they wonât think twice of it.
Now the matter of Jedidiah:
Jedidiah is an interesting one to think about, as he obviously cares for Sydney, in so many ways; but he isnât good at expressing it, and the ways in which their relationship is without change are kind of toxic. Jedidiah doesnât want to lose Sydney, but also in many respects already has, he isât willing to let go but also isnât willing to make things right. He is scared, he feels guilty, and he wants to love and to be loved as anyone would be.Â
Whatever he did to Sydney is something he wonât admit, because he regrets it, he is scared of what heâs done, so he does what he needs to to keep Sydney alive but he never processes it fully, otherwise heâd feel even more guilty for what heâs done, and he wouldnât be able to look at Sydney without remembering in detail all that heâs done. Though not processing it has also caused him trauma, trauma heâs trying to suppress rather than work through, which is what causes him to avoid Sydney and to snap at him all the time. He does want to protect Sydney and keep him safe but he cannot in his current condition effectively do so.
If you have anything to add/point out you can mention it to me! Or if you just want to discuss it I am willing to do so!
