the winter olympics are almost a little bit painful for me because they make me miss my figure skating era but honestly I have all sorts of complicated feelings about my relationship to the sport in my life that I’ve never really talked to anyone about in much depth in the nearly 10 years since I quit. Figure skating used to be SUCH a huge part of my life and identity, but I stopped at age 13 or so, so to most people it would seem like it can’t have been that big in my life at all. How would my younger self feel about the fact that very few people I interact with today know that I was ever a skater when it was SO important to me back then? I’m sure this is a common experience for people in sports - especially competitive performance-based sports, but I’ve kind of never considered myself an “athlete” so I haven’t explored reaching out to others about that experience before. The winter olympics just make me wistful. I can’t make myself properly keep up with the skating because it makes me regretful and I think about all that could have been. I remember how it felt to be good at something and I miss that feeling. Part of me wants to get back into figure skating, but how does one do that as a 22-year old? Would I just be competing against middle schoolers? I don’t think I can bring myself to do that lol. But I know I would be so much better at the choreography and performance aspects of skating now that I have developed an increased self confidence that I didn’t have when I was still in the sport. Anyways, winter olympics stream of consciousness over, I think.
