#fic-meta

Sooo unfortunately I have to work overtime the second day of work. And most of that time I need to be waiting... for experiment to run, so I feel like I could be writing a bit about how Laugh and Forget, Laugh and Forget! came about.

A bit under a year ago, one day in February, I had a horrible idea that Jaehaerys had coveted Saera and in his terrible covetousness he messed it all up, sending her away for cold repentance, and she fled from his face in mischief and utter disillusionment of their bond. It became increasingly unbearable for me to regard this passage of faux history. What if Saera intuited his intent for her, which he himself had yet recognized in its full monstrosity, and pressed her golden head into the burning window of the house of conflagration... Since the first day this has been a story coloured in gold. Gold as in the Era of Reconciliation, as in the people's colouring, as every emotion at play, as how she's thought by many, her siblings even to be best conditioned for his tyranny. I have certainly abused gold in symbolism in the words I churned out so far. It's blatant irony I know. I was under the same influence when I chose the name of the series, Ketoret, a sweet incense burnt on the God's golden altar, over the temple's blood reek of slaughtered sacrifice.

When I started this story, I wrote with whims and only had a very vague plan for where this shall go - I mean, the ending is already written :/ And I think it would hardly end any differently, whether Saera approached Jaehaerys or not. Worse case scenario is that his monster arose and he caged her for life, having crafted a more cunning gaol for her out of half-dignity and ardor, to keep her within his reach. As I proceed, the inconsistency or rather evolution of stylistic things started to disconcert me. Same happened for Saera's characterization, and till now I can't be sure whether her recollection of earlier fantasy of Jaehaerys makes sense when placed next to Ch2, but let's see if as story unfurls.

In Ch1 Alyssa tracked her down. Alyssa is a funny character. She was "bawdy as a barmaid" but there's no scandal of hers along the same vein as Saera's. She wanted of her own accord, to birth many children for Baelon. She and Baelon in many ways are the true golden children of their era, the mini Jaelysanne that they are. She taught Vaegon o the bully of Daella a good lesson, making her a very dutiful big sister with a welcome sense of righteousness. Saera and Alyssa share quite a few things in common. Perhaps exactly because of Alyssa's attachment to Baelon did she manage to evade Jaehaerys's undue favour. The two siblings are too complete together. In loving remembrance to his marriage with Alyssa, Jaehaerys never saw Alyssa in the complex light he saw Saera: doting, pitiful, worried, pained. Had Alyssa been alive, she would've taken on the duty of searching for Saera in her naive conscience despite being so much her parents' daughter.

The title of the story, Laugh and Forget, Laugh and Forget! is self-explanatory as it moves forward. Saera sat down with Alyssa who strove for an answer and had only seen hints of what had transpired when Saera was at court, and told the story between her and her father, which inspired no laughter unless who listened was cruel, and which could hardly be forgotten unless occurred to one heartless. Saera does have one though. But if gods were merciful, perhaps she does not remember what Jaehaerys looked like anymore as years went by, only the vague image of a very calm man who promised her confusion and hell.