I don't think there's a chance for redemption for us.
With my time with Fiyalin coming to a rather abrupt end, I'm drawn to giving her a final send off; both as a personal goodbye, and a way of finally getting to show who she really was. This isn't really intended for an audience other than myself, but it seems fitting for it to be left here.
Fiyalin was born into a world that was formed from the remnants of malice and a constant struggle to have your voice heard. A child born out of wedlock to a sheltered mother and an absent father, her chances at a normal childhood were slim to none. Her mother's family were High Elves, while her father was an Eladrin, leading to her distinct gray-green skin that further cemented her as the black sheep of her eventual family.
Adopted by the aging husband of her mother, a regional lord who wanted an heir of his own, she was largely ignored as a small child. Upon the birth of her sisters, the ignorance shifted to distain and thinly veiled hostility. He now had his heirs, and was constantly looking for ways to rid himself of his wife's "mistake".
She had two friends while still at the estate. The local hunter contracted by her step-father. He was kind, soft spoken, and silently aware of the abuse she went through. He taught her to use a bow, track animals, and showed her how to nurture life through gardening.
Her other friend was the library, and more specifically, an old book that spoke to her. It told her that she could run away, right the wrongs done to her, and wield power far greater than what was containing her. It told her she was smart, and strong, and important. All she had to do was ask, and Fiyalin did so without hesitation.
It would be a number of years before she ran away, and she slowly honed her new arcane skills in secret until her sisters pushed her too far and her step-father attempted to kill her.
For awhile, she just roamed and worked odd jobs until finding a group of people to travel with. They hunted monsters, caught thieves, and helped where they could. But Fiyalin is simply not allowed to be happy for long. After witnessing a cruel shopkeeper strike an urchin working for him, she broke into his shop that night and slaughtered him. Fearing the consequences and the disgust of her friends, she fled. It was a number of days she spent in a manic state before stumbling through the woods and into a caravan leaving Midgrove Citadel. It was time to go finish the job she started and claim what she saw was rightfully hers.
In the caravan were three people that would inexplicably change the trajectory of her life. The story from this point is common knowledge, minus a few details that I feel deserve to be known.
Initially, Fiyalin disliked Elizabeth as she looked like her sisters. This soon changed when she saw that Elizabeth had not yet been infected by the cruelty Fiyalin had been raised with. Almost against her own will, Fiyalin saw Elizabeth as another chance to be kind. Unfortunately, that's not something she had the chance to fully learn.
She was there when Elizabeth saw her home on fire and wanted to hold her hand while she pushed her off the edge into the pit of power, fear, and grand ambition she was dragged into years ago. Fiyalin has always been alone, and she wanted Elizabeth to be alone with her. She saw them as the Pact Sisters that would bring an end to the haze the gods had pulled over the world, and bring an end to the injustice they both had faced. She had seen Elizabeth grow darker, but not dark enough to see her.
After years of the Gift Giver telling her how the gods were failures, and the constant anti-Ostian propaganda, there was little chance for her to have a positive relationship with Sato. She saw him as the epitome of divine ignorance, but still grew attached as he was a kindness similar to the one she had experienced from the hunter. She mourned his first death, but would not mourn the second.
Virall was familiar to her on a level she had not yet seen. In another life, he would be the father she deserved. He was violent, but with an intent beyond ambition. He was kind and understanding, even without being shown who she was at her core. With what would come, she hoped he would still be as understanding and kind to her.
Jammer was the first friend she had killed, and he likely would not have been her last. If not for the chaos of the surrounding events and the firm hand of the Gift Giver telling her that she will be protected, this likely would have been another collapse. He wasn't close to her, but she saw a mutual thread of zealous discomfort with their identities.
Belle was of immediate interest to the Gift Giver, and therefore an immediate interest to Fiyalin. She was naive, extremely gifted, and largely easy to take. Her family posed little challenge, but it's difficult to go unnoticed when dragons have such keen senses. Fiyalin did genuinely care for Belle, and did her best to keep her safe and sheltered from what the Gift Giver would eventually use her for so she did not have to feel fear at the end. Fiyalin failed in that regard.
When all was said and done, Fiyalin hoped to have her estate and make a place of warmth, kindness and life; the opposite of what it was the last time she ran away.
As I had said at the start, I don't think there's any redemption for us. Fiyalin was never a hero, and would not have died a noble death. In a way, this is the best ending for her from my perspective. I have a feeling in my gut that she won't receive an ending she deserves, whether she wins or loses. Fiyalin will die alone, in the dark, and surrounded by those who won't handle her with kindness.
Maybe she doesn't deserve kindness and what is to come is what was going to happen all along, but I'd be lying if that hurt. I don't think I'll have another character like her, at least for a long time, so I hope to at least maintain a semblance of the story that was told.
Oh, and, Elizabeth? Be gentle about it, please.
