#ffxiiiblogging

i did 7 and 14 but i cAN DO MY OTHER FAVS TOO (that would be 9 and 13)

IX

my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: vivi sweet cild

my trash-shit fave: ZIDANE TRIBAL THE TRASHTHIEF and hiS SHITTY DRAMA QUEEN BROTHER

my I love to hate them fave: also shitty drama queen brother kuja

my I hate to love them fave: see above

my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: garlannnd

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: errrrrrr

my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: most of the cast tbh

my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: ZIDANE GARNET

my dirtybadwrong fave ship: vivi/eiko?????

my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: steiner/beatrix yespls

my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship: ???

my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: please no tribal-bro cest god no

XIII

my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: serAH FARRON

my trash-shit fave: SNOW MOTHERFUCKING VILLIERS

my I love to hate them fave: GLORY BE TO LUMINA

my I hate to love them fave: hope esthiem you lil shit

my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: bunnyfuckze

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: meh

my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: lightning vanille and fang

my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: SNOW/SERAH THIS SHIP IS MY HOME

my dirtybadwrong fave ship: noel/yeul/caius can i ship that

my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: fang/vanille

my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship: LIGHTNING/HOPE

I HATE YOU OH MY GOD //crying into eternity

Send me a ship involving my muse my OTPs and I'll create a child from it!

turned on the ps3 and played ffxiii for two minutes before i realized i didn't care and turned it off again without saving. i took out my phone and played candy crush for half an hour instead, and i had a great time.

i still kind of want to know what's going on with the story and stuff, but... i can't take another minute of running down corridor after narrow, beautifully-rendered, totally non-interactive corridor, toward the promise of some kind of story detail that will make me like this game or its characters.

every cool thing about the game is stuck in a cutscene that i have no control over. would it have killed the designers to let the player try to fly the fucking ship? or talk to people and select responses based on what you want to do, or anything other than "move automatically selected character from point a to point b, pressing x button as needed to prompt character's automated attack patterns, run into blind cul-de-sac to get treasure, run back out, run back down corridor until cut scene occurs, watch cut scene, run down corridor, repeat until world is saved"?

five hours into the game, and i feel like it's just this endless treadmill of repetitive jogging, whining, and ever-more ostentatious battle tutorials that promise to give you all this rad control over the battle but only serve to hide what a bloodless, mechanical grind the fights actually are. pressing x and occasionally switching to defensive mode, wow, very warrior, much tactics. once the ornamentation loses its glamour, every new battle command is just one more thing to not care about.

and this is just a quibble, but the battle rating system makes me want to piss blood from my eyesockets. i don't care how well i slaughtered Random Digital Wolverine Frog Pack #450. i have been phoning in random encounters since ff6 was the hot new title and i'm not about to start taking pride in button mashing now.

LUKA: yeah.

AUD: is there such a thing as "butterdialogue?"

LUKA: butter what?

what a stupid way to present your story. fucking cliff notes! whatever happened to "show, don't tell"?

hope might have been less of a travesty if his horrible tragedy hadn't been so paint-by-numbers cliched that i predicted every detail before it happened.

"wup, she's a mom, she's gonna die. she's gonna die in front of her kid to inspire him. she's gonna get blasted riiight after a moment of fake triumph, right... NOW. yeah, she's gonna hang off that dude's hand and give him a speech and then drop. whoops, there she goes in slow motion, byyyye."