#ffangst

He'd take the world off my shoulders If it was ever hard to move He'd turn the rain to a rainbow When I was living in the blue

Sometimes, it was hard to face reality.

The fact that you and Beomgyu had broken up, the fact that you would never be able to call him yours again, was slowly filling you inside. When you'd agreed to it a few days ago, it had felt like nothing. Like he would come back and the two of you would reconcile, and things would go completely normal again. But that wasn't the case. It was hitting you now in your shared apartment bedroom, while he sat silently on one side, packing his boxes, and you sat in the other corner, organizing yours.

Why had you two broken up? You didn't even know the answer to that anymore. Your relationship had started tearing off in bits, the way paper does when placed in water. It's damaged, and when you take it out again, it can heal with scars. But it's dipped again and again in water, and everything slowly ebbs off eventually. Little arguments, small fights, misunderstandings. All of those had combined together to throw your relationship to the dumps. And when the two of you were drunk and angry one night, that was the final blow. And that night, everything ended.

You quickly shut your eyes. You didn't want to think about it anymore. You quickly stuffed the last of your belongings into your box and left without a second glance. You could only mutter a quick "Goodbye" on your way out before the tears started to fall.

Why then, if he is so perfect Do I still wish that it was you? Perfect don't mean that it's working So what can I do?

When you're out of sight In my mind

It had been a whole year since the breakup that still scarred you. It had affected you in ways that no other breakup had. But you'd eventually picked yourself up from the ground and found a new life for yourself. That was what he was doing as well, you suspected.

You had a new boyfriend now: Choi Soobin. He was nice, a good listener, and the best at understanding. But from time to time, you'd wonder why you weren't as happy as you had been with Beomgyu. Soobin was like the total opposite, but he matched with you so well. You two had a lot in common. Soobin was different. Soobin was quiet, reserved, and polite, whereas Beomgyu was loud, annoying, and often crazy. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Soobin or the way he acted, but you just couldn't seem to click with him as you had with Beomgyu. You enjoyed every single passing moment with him, yet there was always something in between that was missing too.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Soobin waved a hand in front of your blank face.

"Huh? Oh, of course I am. Sorry. I'm fine." You rambled out, shaking your head to wake yourself up. This was not the time to be thinking about your ex. You had a perfect boyfriend in front of you, and you were still thinking about a broken relationship from a year ago.

"Okay, I'm glad." Soobin said, smiling. He picked up his chocolate crossaint. "Here, have a bite. It's delicious."

You obliged, brining your mouth closer and taking a huge bite out of it. He was right. It was delicious.

"Mmm," You said, offering your muffin to him. You watched as he took off a piece and popped it in his mouth, chewing happily. Even his eyes smiled. You found yourself getting lost in his dark orbs, finding swirling memories of you laughing in the park, holding his hand and giggling with joy.

His hand.

But it wasn't Soobin's, and you hated to admit that it would never be.

You quickly shook yourself off and blinked to see Soobin staring at you with concern etched across his face again.

"Gah. I did it again, didn't I?" You muttered sheepishly. Soobin let out a soft chuckle.

"It's okay. You must be tired today. Do you wanna pack the rest of these for later, then?"

You nodded gratefully, wondering why you couldn't love Soobin to your heart's extent. He was so perfect.

But then again, perfect wasn't what you needed. You needed his hand to grasp in yours again, his lips on yours, his laugh to fill your world.

You shook you head. You really needed to stop doing this.

Tell me she savors your glory Does she laugh the way I did? Is this a part of your story? One that I had never lived Maybe one day you'll feel lonely And in her eyes, you'll get a glimpse Maybe you'll start slipping slowly And find me again

When you're out of sight In my mind

"Gyu~" Sujin's voice called Beomgyu as he looked up. He'd been waiting for her to finish her shift at the pool so that they could have the rest of the afternoon for themselves.

"Hey." He said, smiling and intertwining his fingers in hers. "How was your day?"

"Great. There was this adorable little girl here, and she absolutely loved the pool!" Sujin giggled in excitement by just talking about the little girl.

Sujin was Beomgyu's new girlfriend. They had met a few months ago through mutual friends, and she understood him in ways that he hadn't felt in a while. Not since y/n. She was precious, sweet, and kind. But she still wasn't y/n.

"So, how was your day?" Sujin asked Beomgyu in return. He shrugged.

"It was alright. There was one rude customer first start in the morning, but the customers after were so much nicer. I guess they made up for him." He continued to talk about his encounters at work, but his mind was obviously elsewhere.

Sujin started to fiddle with her fingers as Beomgyu talked, and he noticed it after about a minute or so. Not many people around him did it, but he was so used to y/n fiddling with her fingers when she was anxious that it seemed so normal now. His thoughts hitched back to a year ago, way before they'd had their fights. The way she had fiddled around under the table on their first date at a restaurant. How she'd been unable to keep her hands still while walking through a busy crowd. It had been such a cute habit, and Beomgyu had lived for teasing her about it. He realized he was smiling again, but not for Sujin. He instantly wiped it from his face. This was wrong to do.

"How about we stop for some coffee?" Sujin asked as they passed a small, dainty cafe. Beomgyu was about to decline, not in the mood for caffeine, when the irresistible scent of coffee wafted through his nose.

"Of course." He agreed, and the two of them walked in.

'Cause sometimes you look in her eyes And that's where you find a glimpse of us And you try to fall for her touch But you're thinking of the way it was Said you're fine and said you moved on You're only here passing time in her arms Hoping to find A glimpse of us

"Beomgyu?"

"Y/n?"

The two of you gaped at each other. You and Soobin had just cleaned up the table and had been preparing to leave when someone asked if you were done using the table. You had turned back to see a very pretty girl, but you were even more astounded to see your ex behind her, who seemed equally as shocked.

"D-do you know each other?" The girl asked, looking confused as she glanced back and forth between yours and Beomgyu's expressions.

"Oh..." You said. You concluded that it was probably Beomgyu's new girlfriend, and you didn't want to go down the complicated route. "I mean, yes. He's a very close friend of mine. We lost contact about a year ago."

The girl looked slightly relieved, and so did Soobin. "That's nice." The girl stook out her hand. "I'm Ji Sujin, Beomgyu's girlfriend."

Soobin introduced himself as you shook her hand back. But the whole time, your eyes hadn't strayed away from Beomgyu's.

You could catch glimpses of the two of you in his large eyes. Every memory suddenly flashed back and hit your squarely in the heart. His laugh, his touch, his tears. Everything just hit you. You wanted to run to him and say that you were so sorry for breaking up, even if you didn't know the reason. You just wanted to come back to his embrace and never let go again. Unbeknownst to you, Beomgyu was thinking the same thing, transfixed in your eyes. Small details that he'd forgotten about the time you'd shared together were all coming back to him at once. Both of you felt the pain of the memories from months ago.

You let a small smile out at him, and after a few seconds, he returned it.

Maybe the two of you were only passing time in others' arms, staring in unfamiliar eyes and wanting to find love and warmth there. But the only thing found there was a longing to go back to each other, to embrace the mistakes and make up for it again.

But for now, all you could do was stare at his eyes, the warm glow that held onto the glimpse of the two of you, and all that you could've been.