#feyjunghwa

↳ @feyjunghwa

The weirdest thing Harin expected to see today was a few dozen people dressed in Joseon court robes, but it seems that the universe has other surprises in store. Fair enough – the situation is weird to begin with, one of those text message exchanges with a college acquaintance that turns into “what are you doing this weekend” that turns into “come visit the television set I’m working the cameras for,” and here’s Harin buying his ticket admission into Gyeongbokgung so he can smuggle a bottled coffee in for his friend.

Maybe he timed it wrong, but their conversation lasts somewhere shy of fifteen minutes before they’re called back to their work, leaving Harin with a stern warning not to take pictures, though he’s welcome to watch if he can stand at a safe distance and still see around the equipment pieces and green screens.

There’s a handful of people lingering to observe, so at least he’s not alone. Girls with expensive cameras trying to capture pictures of the actors from the glimpses they can catch; a few foreigners, curious to know what’s happening; and a vampire. Harin can smell him, though it takes a few minutes to pick the right person out of the crowd. Another loner, like him? Harin’s not shy, so he can’t resist his steps drifting closer, though he maintains an arm’s distance or more even when he ventures to ask a question.

“What about you? Game a lot in general?” he asked, curious whether this kid would be a good time competition. “If you do, how about once the internet picks up, we play a versus round?” he exclaimed. He thought it would be quite fun.

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“i do try to,” yujin says, mostly because his attention starts to wane once he plays a certain game way too much, and the distraction doesn’t prove as useful as he usually intends it to. he smiles, too, and nods towards the screen, agreeing with him. “i’ll definitely show you. it’s lots of fun,” he tells him, listening to him describe the games he was playing, too.

“oh, i think i’ve played those before! i’ve considered trying to get a pc at home to play so that i didn’t have to come out every time. i do have consoles but there’s something about playing on pc that’s just different. just preference, really, i like console but a keyboard and mouse feels a bit more accurate than a controller to me sometimes,” he explains, watching him spin around in his chair with a little giggle himself.

he takes it that he means the humans at the place they’re at currently, and since it’s the same reason that he comes out instead of gaming at home by himself, too, he agrees. “hoodies are pretty great. i’m usually pretty hot, though, so i tend to not wear them,” he says, his nose scrunching up a little as he thinks about it, and hums. “i remember playing on like, a playstation when i was a kid, and like.. the consoles available now? or even a really good gaming pc? it’s really crazy how far it’s come since then. the graphics, too,” yujin tells him, and he remembers the nights he was able to stay up and play, finding himself lost in worlds much farther and less scary then his own.

“but your setup sounds really amazing— it sounds like you put a lot of effort into it. it probably plays games even better then these,” yujin says, and at his question, he shrugs a little.

“i play sometimes, when i’m in the mood for it. usually on controller, so i come here every now and again to get used to keyboard and mouse again. yes— we can play a game! i wonder if the internet is better now..” he trails off, and he checks, seeing that it is indeed connected again. he figures they could probably try something out.

“i think it is! what do you want to play? i’ll load it up,” he says, a little excited, and shifts to put the headphones around his neck as he closes out of what he was doing previously. he quickly puts his previous feelings towards the back of his mind, focusing on the games and the possibility of competition instead.

—JUNGHWA⋆ˊˎ

“i was grinding to level characters....so it just lagged massively...” he adds. He then grins at the kid next to him asking him all these questions. “What were you playing?” he asks curious.

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he’s a little relieved to learn that he’s not the only one dealing with the internet lagging— though considering the location, he’s sure it won’t last long. hopefully. at his question he hums, shrugging a bit.

“i actually just kind of.. clicked on something and started playing. i like to come here and play something different every time if i can, just to keep it interesting. so it was something with like.. teams. i liked it because it was a really colorful art style,” yujin remarks, leaning back in his chair and taking the break for what it was.

“what were you playing? this place has like.. so many games downloaded on the computers, it’s crazy,” he says, and it’s not like he doesn’t have consoles at home to play on, but it’s the darkness of his apartment, the dull, artificial glow the only lighting that ends up making his eyes burn, making the unsettled feelings in his chest way even heavier then he’d like.

here it’s bright, and there’s other people, and yujin can order food whenever he gets hungry. despite everything, he only really has a limited spectrum of skills for cooking, a fact that he will only sheepishly admit if it happens to come up.

he feels his phone buzz in his pocket, slips it out and quickly scans over the lit up screen. of course his mother would only contact him when she needs him for something— a time for that weekend, that he better be at the house and ready an hour before. to prep everything he needs that week and bring it with him.

gripping it a bit tighter, he turns it off and places it face down on the table in front of him, tries to swallow down the tightness in his throat.

“have you ever been to any other places like this? i’ve been to a few, but this one seems to not have very good internet all of the time..” he trails off, and he’s looking at how the game is still frozen in front of him, can only think about how the internet being slow means that he has a lack of something to do with his hands, a lack of a way to distract himself from the way his heart beats in his chest from the message.

SENTENCE STARTER MEME

*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ —

his smile glimmered as he held his hands out at his sides, trying to keep balanced. wiggling his fingers, he felt the wind ruffle through his hair, pushing it off his forehead, the leather jacket he had on his shoulders not as effective as keeping away the chill of the evening air as much as he’d like.

“well, certainly not, junghwa, but it does make you feel quite alive,” he says with a bit of a laugh, the cars on the bridge whirring past, all with a place to be but yujin without one. the river glitters beneath the concrete, and yujin only looks on to see the sun making its way to sink down below the horizon.

he’s not quite sure how they got here, but he remembers the times as a child he would balance on sidewalk edges, one foot in front of the other, feeling triumphant when he had made it to the other side. there’s something much more thrilling about this, but yujin still chases the feeling of being able to successfully navigate on such a small space.

the rail of this bridge— the pavement on one side, the river gleaming down below.

“you could try it, you know. the wind is quite nice up here,” he says, though he doesn’t look to him, instead focusing on his feet one moment, then looking up, charting his path even though there really is only one way to go. his tone is quite joking, and he stops for a moment just to look at the sunset, the way it paints everything in golden hues.

his hands fall to his sides, letting out a bit of a breath.

there is this, when the world seems to be quiet even though it isn’t, even though there is life in the cars speeding past, in the people that are lingering by the river’s edge, there is life in the city, in the lights that outline the windows of buildings, glowing even more as the sun goes down. but if he holds his breath, just a moment, it feels calm. he looks at the way the colors of the sky reflect off of the rippling water for a second longer before he turns and jumps back down onto the bridge’s walkway.

it takes the breath out of him for a moment, but he still laughs after, all teeth, glinting in the looming edge of the dark. the wind has made a mess out of his hair as he sticks his hands in his pockets and resumes walking the path, not looking to see if junghwa is following him still.

“do you ever do things just to.. feel? sometimes i just want everything to be calm— quiet, i want to appreciate everything as it is, in its simplicity. so i try to stop, i try to do something,” his voice trails off and he shrugs, unable to find a word for it.

“something that makes my heart beat a little faster. then i feel like the world kinda comes into focus,” yujin muses, and the sun is disappearing underneath the horizon, the artificial light casting harsh shadows on the pavement, yujin’s shadow growing much too tall, too fast, chasing his footsteps as he walks.

Minho pauses the movie looks up from the screen exasperated. There are pillows and blankets strewn everywhere in the room, the only light coming from the glow of the television and twinkling fairy lights. After a week of begging and bribing Junghwa, he finally convinced him to have a Marvel movie marathon. He played each title in chronological order, only getting up for bodily needs and to get Junghwa’s attention.

“What! It’s sad! Hyung, please,” he says, throwing a piece of popcorn at him. Minho exaggerates a frown, sticks out his tongue, and rolls over onto his back.

“Captain America is the coolest and most tragic Avenger! Look at him!” he points at the screen, showing good old Cap’ coming to the brutal realization that he slept through the decades. “It’s sad, so cry!” he teases. then pushes Junghwa’s thigh with his sock-covered foot. He thinks it over for a moment that. Even though they’ve only known each other for a short time, he’s never seen Junghwa cry - or even look particularly sad. 

@feyjunghwa​

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yujin blinks several times, hand reaching up to rub over his tired eyes, having stared at the screen in front of him for far too long. he’d been here as the hours passed, and he stares blearily down at the time in the bottom right of the screen, trying to process how he’d wasted so much time distracted. 

as in his nature to seek out places to steal his attention, he often found himself at these internet cafes, in which he could play games to occupy his mind while still feeling as if he wasn’t alone. he did have the music turned up quite loudly, but it was in the innate feeling of other people being nearby that gave him much more comfort then his lonely apartment. 

out of sight, out of mind, is that what his parents were thinking when they placed him there? no longer in a home that he never even considered one, but what is the meaning of relocating him if they never even spoke to him in the first place? feels convenient. feels superficial, like always. smile and wave. yujin’s always been the perfect puppet. 

they are questions that knock around in his thoughts enough that he wishes to try to get rid of them by entirely focusing on something else to quiet them down. even if it’s only for a little while. 

shifting the headphones off and laying them on the counter in front of him, he runs a hand through his hair, messy, eyeshadow smudged at the corners of his eyes. there’s someone sitting in the seat next to his, now, and he had been so zoned out playing that he hadn’t noticed until he had taken a little break from staring so intently at the screen. 

leaning over a bit, he clears his throat, starts, “hey—”, and goes a little bit wide-eyed at how his initial tone seems much too loud in the room, the only other noise the clacking of the keyboards, bouncing off the dark walls and among the glow and cozy atmosphere of the room, making outlines of all of the players situated in front of the computers. 

he tries to lower his voice, but he still does want to catch the attention of the person next to him. 

“did the internet get a bit slow for you? i got kicked out of my game, actually, and i was right in the middle of winning a match. i wanted to know if you were experiencing it too,” 

yujin asks, fingers tap tap tapping against the counter, knee bouncing as an errant piece of hair falls into his eyes, offering a tiny smile for the trouble of bothering the person with his question. 

it’s not reminiscing, exactly. kijung never set foot near jongmyo shrine before it was a tourist attraction-- back when it was still a monument for kings. kijung was too busy in his village in incheon, being spit on for the station he inherited from his mother. he only realized how wrong it was later, when he gained respect; he lived much of his human life okay with the mistreatment. it was just how it was. he never saw any reason to fight.

it’s not his first time here, but it is his first with a camera. he looks the part of a tourist, but he isn’t one, still here more to show his respects than anything else. it’s always a time of reflection and remembrance. he looks back on how far he’s come, and imagines a ki whose status was high enough to come here 400 years ago. he remembers all of the people-- the friends, his family, and even those that hated him, and he takes pictures of the shrine. it’s just as much for kijung’s benefit as it is kyuhwan’s (poor fledgling barred from the sun, unable to join kijung here even for as much as he’s sure he’d like to.)

he decides he needs to take a picture from a different angle, and turns around, nearly running right into someone else. it’s rare kijung makes such a mistake, senses usually keen enough to prevent anyone from sneaking up on him, but he was too focused, and there are too many people. vampire, he realizes, and familiar, and-- it’s junghwa.

they met a long time ago, in italy, before kijung’s world fell apart for the second time. after, it was difficult-- too many bad memories, but mostly guilt on kijung’s part. they could’ve been friends, if he wasn’t afraid of friends then. it’s different now, but the awkwardness still remains.

“junghwa,” and he bows to him in greeting, out of respect; maybe the shrine brings out some of his roots after all.