#feelingthings

And you’ve had me biting my lip

Words of love slip past our lips countless times a day. But only ever from my lips first.

Those same lips press up against your own, gently, hungrily, desperately. They pepper galaxies of affection against your face, your hands, your body, anywhere they can reach. But this can only happen when I ask or each time I pass you in our home. Because your lips never meet me first.

My hands will often tangle through your hair. Hands slowly caressing scalp and muscles down your neck to make you feel relaxed. To make you feel secure. Loved. Wanted... Why do your hands never do the same?

Those same hands of mine massage and linger across the barest of skin. They plead to please you. To hear your moans of delight. Of relief. Of all the emotion that pours from my heart for you every moment of every day... Your hands barely reach mine... and only ever to ask for more of me... For more of everything I give to you so openly and freely at any moment... of everything I can give to you... but you never give to me.

How is it, that I can feel so loved yet so lonely? So heard and seen but never spoken to or reinforced. How can you make me feel like the luckiest person alive and the loneliest at the same time?

How is it that I have this deep yearning for more? This need to get the things you do not give me from somewhere else. How is it that I can so easily deny myself of getting these things because your mind won't allow it? Because your heart can't take it.

To have me find these things elsewhere would break you. For me to receive these things from others is so deeply damaging... so then why can't you give them to me? Why must I come close to crumbling every time for you to see me, feel me, hear me screan out with every fibre of my being that I need more?

The stuff I send when I am intoxicated

When I rewatch/read/see what I've said and done

I'll crawl under a rock

But at least I only send you stuff.... Or this could get awkward

Cause I've been a little to risque of late

Dying now thinking of how I'll die when I look back

Hopefully this will receive good fruits