#featuring ray

Along with his new leather jacket, and a business card with his name on it listing him as assistant to Mr. Bryar, Mikey was also given a cell phone with a walkie talkie feature so Bobby could have instant access to him no matter where they were. Dressed up in new clothes, though still wearing the navy blue Converse, Mikey brushed his teeth twice and grabbed a handful of the wrapped candy by the door on his way out, the morning of the big arrival.  The first thing Mikey thought when he saw the infamous Mr. Toro from across the terminal was that he looked very uneasy. He was carrying camera gear with him and he kept looking around and over his shoulder. Whenever someone moved close to him he side stepped them, cradling his cases close to him as if a mere brush against someone would prove disastrous. He was bundled in a black cap and trench coat that reminded Mikey of either a spy or aspiring terrorist. He was tall, his face broad, nose and mouth generous, and slightly freckled. "Raymond!" Bobby called and hurried to meet him with his hand already extended. "Welcome to New York. I'm Robert Bryar, this is my assistant, Michael. If you have your claim check, he'll go get your bags while we grab a drink and some lunch." "Call me Ray." Ray shook his hand vigorously, still looking a bit out of his element. "Then call me Bobby. Shall we?" Ray handed Mikey his ticket and Mikey went to wait for the bags to be unloaded, getting lost more than once in the process. Finally he accounted for all of them, paid for a glorified shopping cart to pile them on to and then proceeded to the parking lot. His mind was already running wild, wondering what Bobby and Ray were talking about. With the wind whipping hard against his face and making his eyes water he got in line at the taxi stand armed with the name of the hotel and a thick roll of bills he was too scared to even take out and count. It took nearly twenty minutes to get a cab, as Mikey stamped his feet against the cold, wishing he had asked for boots instead of sneakers.  He gave the cab driver the name of the hotel, paid the $15 fare with a twenty and told him to keep the change. A bell boy was instantly there helping him with the bags and at the desk he told the clerk he was delivering bags for Raymond Toro and presented his card and ID. The bags were taken, he was given the key card and he followed the bell boy up just to make sure it was taken care of and tipped him a ten, which appeared to be the smallest bill in the bundle. He then wandered around the lobby waiting for Bobby to call him. After a while his curiosity got the better of him and he made the call himself. "Hey, the bags are here, the room is good. Would you like me to bring the key?" "Oh yeah, sure. I think I lost track of time. Come on over to the Green Derby on 18th and bring the key. After that get yourself something to eat from somewhere and head home." "Okay, see you as soon as I can get a cab."  Mikey got a cappuccino to go from the coffee bar in the lobby and braced himself against the cold once more. This time a taxi was hailed for him and twenty minutes later he was walking into the restaurant. He almost didn't recognize Ray with his cap off, a bright mop of reddish brown hair sprang up all over his head and he seemed to look mildly more at ease as he sat chatting and having a drink over the remains of their dinner dishes. Bobby was leaned over the table, taking in his every word, they both appeared to be enjoying themselves. "Your key card, Mr. Toro." Mikey said formally. "Thank you, I really appreciate it. Do you want to sit down?" "Uh, no, I should go." Mikey glanced over at Bobby nervously. "There's a great burger joint next door. Ray's vegetarian so we came here. Take your time, eat, take a cab home. If we need anything else, we'll call."  Mikey smiled and told them goodbye, a bit sad that he couldn't stick around and hear what was being said. He hurried a few doors down and seated himself at the counter. He ordered lunch and sat eating and watching the people passing by outside. It was nice to be indoors and warm and eating, he had learned to never take these things for granted again. Still, it was a little lonely to sit there alone, knowing Bobby and Ray were probably hitting things off, even though that was exactly what he had been hoping for. Pulling out his phone without a pause to question his nerve, he called his home number. On the fourth rang an answering machine cut on. Mikey took a deep breath. "Hey, it's me. I know I should have called before. I'm alive. I'm okay, I'm not coming back as far as I can see. I miss Frank, tell him I love him." He paused and took a breath again, emotions welling up within him. "I miss Gee too. And I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry you're ashamed of me and I'm sorry I didn't have the sense to keep my own mouth shut and just pretend I wasn't gay and just go along. I'm alive, I'm safe, just forget me, okay? Merry Christmas." Biting his lip, he hung up. He killed a little more time before finally hailing a cab, something he was beginning to get good at, and going back to Bobby's. He arrived to find the door still locked and alarm armed. Nervously he dialed Bobby's number. "Hey, it's me. I don't mean to interrupt but I guess I got here before you did and I'm locked out. I'm afraid I'm going to set off the alarm." "Oh sorry about that. I didn't think about us getting there at different times. Sit tight, I just dropped Ray off at his hotel and I'm on my way back." "How'd it go?" "Tell ya when I get there." Mikey could almost hear the grin in Bobby's voice. He waited in the hallway, grateful it was all indoors and away from the cold. Twenty minutes later Bobby came through the elevator with his keys already out. "Sorry, man." He apologized and Mikey hurried to pull out the rest of the money he had left over and hand it over to which Bobby looked genuinely surprised. "Okay, out with it! How did it go?" Mikey asked as they took off their coats in the foyer.  "He's the opposite of me. He's shy, it takes a lot to get him talking but once you do….I think we hit it off." "That's great!!" Mikey exclaimed, socking Bob in the arm out of sheer excitement.  "It's too soon to tell a whole lot but I do think I was able to put him at ease and I do think he's excited about the meeting tomorrow. I didn't want to keep him too long, I know flying anywhere is a lot of stress these days and he was probably anxious to get to his room and rest." "So what about his photos? If he says yes will he have to fly back and get them?" "Oh no, he'll have someone ship them directly to the museum." Mikey nodded. "I should find a place for my stuff---now that I HAVE stuff." He said, setting the phone on the coffee table. "I mean, what if you want to show him your place? You can't do that with my stuff on the couch." "Sure I can. It's not a big deal." Said Bob. "But I can get you a duffel bag or something. It might make everything easier to keep up with." "And how much is that going to cost-- two hundred dollars?" Mikey rolled his eyes. "I will be taking it out of your pay if it bothers you so much." "And how much IS my pay?" "About $950 a week. It really depends on who you work for and your amount of experience. And your connections. But since I don't need your help getting tables downtown and I already have someone to do my laundry and wash my car…." He waited for a reply from Mikey that didn't come before continuing. "And you'll get every penny of it too, don't worry. Just because I'm not handing you wads of cash every other day, trust me, I am accounting for everything. I want you to have enough money to either go a school where you can live on campus, have money for a college fund or just have money to go home, live on your own and survive. I'm not making you work for free, I promise." Mikey could only stare for a moment before opening his mouth and saying the first thing he thought of. "I demand you deduct for room and board." Bobby dismissed him with a shake of his head and got up off the couch. He was half way to his bedroom when Mikey's cell phone rang, making them both jump. Mikey's heart rose into his throat as he stared at the phone on the table. "Who on earth…?" Said Bobby, glancing sideways at Mikey. "No one but me has that number." He swallowed hard but the lump would not go away. "I called my parents' house today, got an answering machine. I left a message." Bobby reached for the phone. "It's a New Jersey area code." He handed it to Mikey. "Is that your folks' number?" Mikey shook his head dumbly. "Are you going to answer it?" "No, I can't! What if it's the cops or something?" He stared at the phone as if expecting it to grow teeth and nip off his fingers. Finally it stopped ringing and beeped to signal a message had been left.  "At least listen to the message, no harm in that."  Before Mikey could protest, Bobby had keyed in a code and activated the speaker feature. A familiar voice filled the room. "Mikey? It's Gee. I love you and I miss you and I am empty without you here. And I am so sorry because this is all my fault. If you need anything, if you just wanna talk, if you just want to yell and hang up, call me. I'm not going to forget you, not now not ever. I love you and so does Frank. He is beside himself, he is so sorry for yelling at you over the phone. I don't know why he did it but he's sorry. We're both miserable without you and we're both glad you're alive. Is this gonna cut me off? I have a cell now, call me any time, I'll always answer. Middle of the night, whatever. Call and hang up, I don't care. Don't think I'm going to forget you're my brother, I'm not. I love you. I wish you were here. I'd do it different if I had it to do over. Don't tell me to have a Merry Christmas, it won't be without you."  CLICK. Mikey burst into tears and sprang from the couch, running to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He sank to the floor with his head in his hands. It had been so long since he'd heard his brother's voice, hearing it again tore a hole right through him. It was several long minutes before he felt he could even breathe again but the pain and loneliness within him had not lessened at all. Too embarrassed to come out right away, he went ahead and showered, taking his time and finally emerged in one of Bobby's robes that fit him like a bed sheet. As he entered the living room and finally found the courage to glance up, Bobby looked on him kindly. "Would it make you feel better if I fixed you a drink?" He offered and Mikey readily accepted. "Still feel like you can't go home?" He asked, handing Mikey the drink and sitting down next to him on the couch. Mikey shook his head and drank deeply, the taste stronger than he expected. "Looks like a couple of people back there still love you and want you back." "But I can't. They still won't let me see Frank, I know it. I'm just afraid if I go home nothing will have changed, it will only be worse. And it hurts because now I do want to go home and I just can't. I want to but I'm scared. I've gone too far, I can't go back. If Gee hated me it would be easy to stay away." He took another drink. "I'm probably not making any sense." "No, I do get it." Bobby patted him on the back. "So tell me more about tomorrow." Mikey changed the subject. "The meeting starts at 10:30 so we should be there by 9. We'll get up about 7:30 and have breakfast just to have some calm before the storm. Plus if you think of anything to ask me at the last minute you can then." "So I set everything up and then sort of babysit Ray until you're done." "Yeah." "How long will that be?" "Maybe an hour, maybe a little more." "And if he does need something, where do I go?" "There's a coffee shop and restaurant next to the gift shop in the lobby. I'll show you where it is on the way in. I'll give you money for that too. Don't worry, you'll do great." "And then?" "He meets with the staff and we wait. I have no idea how long that will be. If he agrees it will be even longer. We'll figure out something to kill the time. After that we take him sight seeing." "We?" "Yeah, I thought you'd want to come along. I mean what if I needed something? Heaven forbid I'd have to get it myself!" Bobby elbowed Mikey playfully. "Sure, I just thought you'd want to be alone with him." "Michael! I don't even know if he likes guys." "So ask." "No." "Okay, I'll ask!" "NO YOU WILL NOT!" Bobby looked so completely appalled Mikey had to laugh. Maybe it was just funny because he was feeling the effects of his drink. "It's not a polite thing to ask." Bobby sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I wouldn't just ask out of the blue." Said Mikey, who decided he'd do just that, only when Bobby wasn't around. "I'm going to finish up some business on the computer and go to bed. I'm beat." Bobby pointed to the phone. "No drunk dialing, okay? That shit will get you in trouble." Mikey smiled and bade him goodnight then curled up on the couch to listen to Gerard's message over and over. =+= "Up and at 'em, man! Today's the big day!" Mikey woke to the sound of Bob's excited voice and hurried off to the bathroom to change and comb his hair. He came out to find Bob wearing a black suit with a gray shirt and black and grey polka dotted necktie that didn't look as odd on him as it would have anyone smaller. "Wow." Mikey said, appraisingly. "You look incredible. Everyone is going to be impressed." "Thank you. You are a long, long way from wearing hospital scrubs yourself. Here." Bob pulled a small box out of his suit pocket and threw it to Mikey. "Spray some of that on. I think our receptionist already has a crush on you. That will drive her wild." "Oh boy." Mikey grinned, opening the box of cologne. Mikey was really too nervous to eat but forced himself to anyway, careful not to get anything on the new turtleneck he was wearing since an Anthrax tshirt just wouldn't do for the occasion. He was also sporting his new tailored jeans and leather jacket and a pair of boots that looked and felt more like sneakers. 'I'm never going to be able to pay all this stuff back.' He thought as he ate. He couldn't think of any new questions to ask and after asking Bobby for the fourth time if he had his laptop, they finally ventured forth through the snow to the museum.  The meeting room had the catering set up and the carafes of coffee smelled wonderful and inviting as Mikey plugged in the laptop, turned the switch that descended the screen and made a practice run with the lights out. All the slides were there, the dates and titles were in order and Bobby's notes were typed up, error free and placed in a folder next to the computer. While Mikey did this Bobby went to retrieve Ray personally at his hotel. Finally Mikey was ushered out into the hallway as the board members arrived. "I can't handle looking at people about to judge my life's work." Ray mumbled, pacing nervously and turning his back as soon as anyone passed. "There's a waiting room around the corner." Mikey touched his elbow and Ray jumped but followed him, eager to get away. "Would you like anything while we wait?" Mikey asked. "Coffee or anything like that?" "Yes, please! I never turn down coffee." Ray tried to smile but still managed to look terrified at the same time.  "Okay, regular coffee? Decaf? Latte?" "Latte with extra sugar and soy milk. I'm afraid of regular milk." Mikey was in mid-stride to leave when he turned back around. "You mean you're allergic to regular milk." "Oh no." Ray said, his curls bouncing as he shook his head. "I can tolerate milk just fine, it just scares me too much to drink it." "Why does it scare you?" Mikey was wondering if Bob had found out this particular revelation just yet. "Because cows are evil." Ray said matter-of-factly. Mikey opened his mouth and then thought the better of it, remembering his manners. He closed his mouth, thought of a pleasant response and began again. "That is FASCINATING. I want to hear more when I get back. Anything to eat? Do muffins scare you?" "No but raisins are suspect. They remind me of people with beady eyes." "Gotcha." Mikey made sure he was well inside the coffee shop before he burst out laughing. He hurried back with lattes for both of them, wishing he had something stronger than soy milk to put in his to fortify him for what he was sure was the most bizarre conversation of his life. He had never tasted soy milk before, the concept being as foreign as goat cheese, but it wasn't that bad and at least he knew if they were both drinking the same things it couldn't get mixed up. He gave Ray his latte and sat down opposite of him in the luxurious waiting room full of overstuffed chairs that seemed to suck you in the instant you sat down. "So, tell me more about how cows are evil." Mikey said, doing his best to pretend it was an everyday topic of conversation. "Have you ever seen a cow face to face?" "Uh…..I'm from Jersey." "There are jersey cows." "Not in my neighborhood. The only jersey cows we had were on the grill." Ray made a face. "They have whiskers like men and big googly eyes and they stand around regurgitating and chewing on their own vomit all day. And they sleep standing up, just ready to fall on you or stampede you to death! And they have hooves! You know who else has hooves?" Mikey shook his head. "Satan!!!" Ray yelled nearly making Mikey choke on his coffee. "Old Scratch, Beelzebub, They're his pets, I'm telling you! And milk is an agent of mind control! Do you know why girls start developing so young now?" Mikey had no idea how to respond. "Uh….because Satan tells them to?" "The hormones in milk! It's proven! They're raised on it and then they get pregnant at age 8 and then they have to have an abortion and who benefits from that? Satan! That's who!" "So, you, uh don't eat chicken either?" Mikey asked, desperate to change the subject. "Bobby said you were a vegetarian." "I tried to eat chicken once so I went to the mall where they sell chicken." "They sell chicken at the mall? Like raw chicken?" "No, chicken sandwiches!" Ray had set down his coffee and was now gesturing with his hands. "And so I go up and you know what I see?" "I couldn't even begin to imagine." Mikey said truthfully. "GIANT CARDBOARD COWS!! And they're mooing at me! They have signs that say EEET MOR CHIKN but cows can't spell---because Satan never taught them how! And it's al misspelled and why would cows want you to eat chicken anyway unless it was some universally evil plot?" Mikey figured it was a rhetorical question and didn't respond.  "I don't know about you but I'm not doing anything the cows tell me to do!" Ray said, pointing to himself as if he was the ultimate maverick. "That's a pretty safe and solid philosophy." Mikey raised his cup in a conspiratorial toast though he was pretty sure Ray was completely out of his mind. Ray toasted him and Mikey once more tried to change the subject. "I'm not an expert on art but I really enjoy looking at your photos." Ray smiled slowly, the grin creeping across like it was trying to sneak up on his face. "Thank you. I'd like to go into portraits but I've never been good at just stopping strangers in their daily routines and asking to take their pictures." "Get an assistant and make HIM ask." Mikey shrugged. "Yeah but it still seems awfully rude. Like 'Are you suffering in poverty? Can I WATCH? Can I take a picture of you suffering and make money off it without ever trying to help you?' Somehow that just doesn't seem right." "Tell them you want to share their despair with the world." Mikey offered and Ray considered this. "If you choose to exhibit here, what's next?" "Hopefully get enough money to travel to shoot architecture in the Czech Republic." "But you'll come back, right?" Mikey blurted out, thinking about Bobby's romance at stake. "You're not staying there are you?" Ray gave him a curious look. "Uh no, I'm coming back. I like American cable television too much to spend my life in Europe." Mikey somehow knew Ray was being utterly serious in that statement so he engaged him in a conversation about his favorite tv shows. This turned into a conversation about favorite movies that they were still deep into when the doors to the boardroom opened and Bobby beckoned Ray inside.