She stared at the mirror, looking at her reflection. Her mind filled with thoughts. 'Will they like me? Will they think im weird?' For a small period of time uncertainty clouded her mind. Her body image is far from perfect, her voice maybe a little too low to be heard and sometimes just sometimes her mind tells her that maybe she is glaring at people. Her thoughts always got the best of her. Eating her out from her insecurities. Maybe tonight will be different. 'What if i make friends?' She thought. 

In the quite recent events of her life things were a bit messed up. Someone she trusted wasnt who she thought they would be and so her perspective on people changed a bit. How can she trust someone or believe every word they say when she was surrounded with a liar. Her mind filled with questions finally stopped. There was only one liar and now they are gone. Some reassurance did happen. 'Maybe i am just paranoid,' she thought. 

The reflection was still there looking back at her. Her dress hugged her curved, chubby body around. She smiled liking how she looked in it. 'will they think im fat?' her mind said again. 'What if the dress is too revealing, i am chubby! shouldnt chubby girls hide  their fat? No, dont you look good.' Finally after what felt like hours of staring at the not so perfect self she got the courage to leave the safety of her house. After some time all the insecurities were going away. 'Maybe it is all in my head. There is going to be people like me there, no need to worry. My best friend will be there too.' 

Arriving to the party she was the only of her group to be there. Her friends that were to join where still coming. She met someone who she was already acquainted too. Relieved she conversed a bit with her. Her mind slowly easing the anxiety of meeting new people away. After some time though it seems that the little monster came back. The room felt heavy, everyone was looking. 'i knew i should not have worn this dress.'  

However all this was in her head. the party was filled with people who were just there to have a good time. She stood there looking at everyone, trying to see how she can join a conversation. She was in fact a bit shy, but maybe it will all go away with a glass of wine. 

The wine in her hand she sipped, smiling at a said joke nodding in agreement to a statement she did not quite get. 'these people could be fun if you allowed them in' said the little monster in her brain.

"Hi, i am Lara" said a girl sitting down just a few feet away. She looked lovely. 

"Hi, i am Sam" She said still standing like a statue near the door. 

"Im not very good with names however i will  try my best to remember" 

"Don't worry, i understand" She truly did especially when she was alone. She could not remember names of people she just met. 

Conversation died there. Maybe Lara thought of her as weird. She checked her phone maybe her friends were there. Nothing! Her awkward state could be felt through the room. Maybe this was a bad idea. Her cup was getting lighter by the minute. The wine slowly effecting her making her more comfortable. 

The little monster did not leave not for a bit. Her mind drilling her with things that were not entirely true. 

'that man is looking at you. I told you not to wear a revealing dress'

'she is looking at your makeup, it was to much'

'girls should always dress modestly what were you thinking your boobs are practically out' 

It was eating her alive to stand there. As if saved by the bell her phone rang, she saw the caller and  a smile formed on her face. 

"Hello" she tried to say through the noise. 

"We are here come open for us" 

"Yes gladly, i am coming" She hanged up and looked around to spot the owner of the house. 

"Hey Maria is here can i go open for her?" She said to Lisa. 

"Yes i will come with you for the lift" 

"Thank you" She politely said. She did give a present to Lisa for her birthday however they were not long friends she thought it would be rude to show up with nothing. 

Going down to open for Maria, Lisa did engage in small talk. 

"Are you having fun?" 

"Yes very, your friends are very nice" She smiled. Her contentment of her best friend down stairs was not detected.

With a smile and a nod the girls left  to welcome the new guest. Her eyes sparkled, her smile grew and her heartbeat might have skipped a beat or two. Her person is here. She now can be more relaxed. 

The tiny human Sam liked so much came around smiling at her. It seems like they were there for each other and if one didnt go maybe the other would not either. 

'hey dont say that you were going before Maria was invited' the monster said. 

'maybe you are right, it still is a party' 

3 Most Critical Steps to Overcome Fear of Being Alone

https://mindfulnesscore.com/3-most-critical-steps-to-overcome-fear-of-being-alone/

It is common for pretty much all of us to have a small part of our day dedicated to ourselves alone. This is the time of the day when you wish to be all by ourselves to either nap or indulge in activities which we prefer to do alone. In all honesty, enjoying your own company from time to time is a sign of a healthy brain. Similarly, there are examples of activities when we wish to have some company with us. For example, while you may go out for dinner by yourself, you’d prefer to have a friend or a romantic partner with you when going out for dinner. Suppose that your favorite movie is out and you want to watch it in the cinema. Would you like to go watch it alone, or would you rather prefer to have a friend with you? Having a preference, or even craving to be with someone when you are trying something new, is normal for all of us. However, the hardship of some people is to feel this discomfort of being alone almost at all times. It is no longer an occasional feeling for them but a fear that constantly obliterate their quality of life. This condition is commonly referred to as Autophobia or Monophobia. Simply put, it is the fear of being alone even at a comfortable, known place such as that of one’s own house.

#Stepstoovercomefear

#Fearofbeingalone