were her eyes deceiving her? were they just making up the words as she read? she wished they were. her mother had woken her up --- after she'd only slept for an hour and a half because tucker was fussy all night --- just to show her an article online. morticia couldn't give two shits about a stupid article. but when she saw that it was about her... about baby gomez... she snatched her mother's phone from her and read, over and over again.
'why wasn't she paying attention to her sugar levels?'
'a life was lost because of her inability to take care of herself.'
tears collected immediately. she already felt like it was her fault that gomez died. she didn't need to be reminded. and these people didn't even have it right. she didn't know it was her glucose level that plummeted. she just thought she didn't feel good because she was supposed to go into labor at any time. she read it again, whimpering as she let the phone drop to her bed, letting out a sob as her mother hugged her.
"don't let them tear you down," serafina said.
"they don't even have it right!" she sobbed. "why would i --- why would i risk our lives if i knew what was going on? i wouldn't! i didn't know i had a blood sugar issue, i thought it was just labor stuff!"
"i know, baby."
"i didn't kill him on purpose!"
"shh... i know," serafina said as she rocked back and forth.
"none of this is fair... it should have been me... he didn't deserve it, he --- he was a baby, he didn't deserve it," tish sobbed.
"it's not your fault honey, the police report states it, the police know that there was no ill intent, they know it was a medical issue that caused the accident. you're not going to be put in jail, you're not going to be labeled as a murderer... it was an accident."
"but i killed him... i did it, it was my fault," she sobbed again. "i'm so sorry mommy, i didn't mean for it to happen, i didn't mean to hurt him!"
"morticia ithaca pacini, it was an accident," serafina said sternly as she pulled back and held her daughter's face in her hands. "i'm as heartbroken as you are that we lost him --- but you are not responsible for this. it was a freak accident, honey. i have never for a second blamed you because i know you wouldn't do something like this on purpose. you are not to blame here. you went into a coma while you were driving. that is not your fault. i'm devastated about losing him, but i'm so, so happy that we didn't lose you and tucker too, baby..."
"everyone's going to think it is though! they may have gotten all the facts right about the police report and the accident, but they're insinuating that i knew what was wrong with me and i just decided to ignore it! they're making it sound like i did this on purpose!"
as morticia became more inconsolable, serafina just held her, kissing her head and running her fingers through her hair and rocking back and forth. there was nothing more she could do as a mother except comfort her child. even though she was the one who lost a child, she knew without a doubt that morticia was more upset about it than she was because it happened while she was responsible for him. there was nothing more she could do to make morticia feel better and that was heartbreaking in itself.
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