#fbr_trash

3/4 by to_our_savior

GOD THAT WAS A TIME ON THE INTERNET

i will die of sad forever

Anyway, about the title. So recently I had to leave a comm which I adore. I'm not happy about it and tbh it wasn't really my choice. It was either stay and cut every inch of my body from all the torment I endured or leave. I asked a few people and they said to leave so I listened to them. It really sucks because I was happy there. I loved it. I met such fab people. You know who you are if you're reading this. <3 But there were a few people who weren't so fond of me and would make it their mission to insult me and tell me to kill myself. Why? I have no idea. Apparently I make people really angry. I'm pretty insufferable so I can see why. It sucks tho because I feel like an orphan rn. (Sorry to real orphans. It's the only thing that fits rn.) A little backstory, back in  like 2010/2011 (I don't remember) I joined Livejournal/ONTD. I was invited to a comm. It's a pretty awesome comm. Anyway so some drama happened as with all ot comms, and people left and it died. So I had to move on. I found fbrt. It was my new home. I loved everyone. People weren't mean to me. If they were, it was just small comments like "you're a fucking moron" because I spelled a word wrong. Nothing too bad. And then the kill yourself comments came. And while my first ot comm is now alive again, it doesn't feel right. I still miss fbrt. I still lurk on some days. I never comment tho, not even on anon. I'm trying to stop because it's like going back to a place you had a great time at and you remember all the fun times, but now the place is no longer like that. At least for me. jfc I'm such a drama queen. I know. It sucks. I miss it so much. I'd give anything to go back, but I know I shouldn't.  Knowing you shouldn't do something makes you want to do it even more. What can I say? I'm like a 5 year old. You tell me not to press a button, I'll wait till you're gone and press it. idek why I'm writing this. No one even gives a fuck. I miss all my friends. We kept in contact for a few, but like always we stopped talking. You'd think I'd be used to this shit by now, I'm not. It's only a matter of time before they even forget I exist. I don't know what to do. Do I go and deal with the hate? Do I stay as far away as I can? I honestly don't know. I'm in limbo rn. I can't decide and I've always been shit at decision making lbr. I can barely decide what to eat for lunch so I go without. That's another post for another time tho. So I have no idea. God I suck.

remember that time Gabe wore this on TRL and we all shit our fucking pants?

just swayin' over here