#fawnface

“How can you say that, Fawnface?” Foxfang’s previous shouting had fizzled into only a whisper as realization set in. Her friend was seriously considering Silentstar’s proposition. “You’re leaving Pineclan?” The younger warrior felt overwhelming anger setting in. Must that rogue take everyone I love away from me?! She thought to herself bitterly. 

“I didn’t say that…” Fawnface looked down, ears flattened in guilt. “I was just saying that Silentstar was making a lot of sense. Why should we all live separately and fight when we all just want the same thing?”

“Because-!” Foxfang searched her mind and found herself blurting out the only words that automatically popped into her head. “We’re all too different! It’ll never work. Those who are different should stay with their own kind! Silentstar obviously just wants total control over all the forest!”

Foxfang cringed at her own words, and looked up to see Fawnface’s shocked face.

“That’s so close-minded of you! You’re better than that, Foxfang,” Fawnface rose her voice, her patience seeming to wear thin. “I’d expect that kind of narrow-headed thinking from Bluestone-!”  the pretty molly clamped her mouth shut, painfully realizing what she was about to say, but it was too late. 

Foxfang stared at her in disbelief, then bared her lips back in a snarl. “Well, I guess I know how you really see me.”

“Stop that, Foxfang, you know that’s not what I meant,” Fawnface murmured, paw shuffling.

The two sat in silence for awhile, letting their exchange really soak in. Foxfang felt an assortment of emotions going through her. On one paw, she trusted Fawnface’s judgement and capability to make good decisions, and she loved the other molly as much as she could love any other cat. On the other…she felt the bitter taste of betrayal all over again. The deep anger and pain she had pushed back for all those years rose up within her. She felt the impulse to lash out and chase Fawnface away herself, but the love and affection she held for the cat in front of her made her hesitate, questioning her own judgement. Was she wrong, and Silentstar… right? It was painfully obvious. Not only did the Mistclan leader sway her sister, but now Fawnface was considering leaving as well. Was Foxfang not enough? Just at the thought, the young warrior felt something in her break apart. Her mother was right about her all along. She’d never be enough. And she let herself get lost in the delusion of Fawnface’s kindness. The cream molly had promised that she had worth. Promised that Bluestone was wrong about her. Promised she’d always be there for her.

And yet here she was, leaving Foxfang and the life they had known forever, to follow someone who had caused her years of pain. Had taken away one of the cats she trusted the most, even if it hadn’t been her intention. Fawnface had broken her promises, and she was wrong. Bluestone was right. Fawnface seemed to sense her demeanor change. She stepped forward apprehensively. “Foxfang, come with me. You don’t have to stay here, I know you’re a good cat. Pineclan has taught us nothing but fighting, but we’re more than that.”

Said molly met her clanmates eyes, glaring instensley. “I trusted you.”

“Fox…”

“Bluestone is right,” Foxfang repeated softly, looking ahead distantly.

“You know that’s not true-”

“I thought I knew! But now look at us. Look at you,” Foxfang sneered at her. “A traitor to your own clan. You’re worthless to us. Weak. Pineclan doesn’t need you.”

Fawnface crouched lower and lower with every punch of a word that Foxfang threw at her. She lowered her head in shame, no longer meeting Foxfang’s eyes.

The display of weakness only made Foxfang angrier. Bluestone was right. “Just get out of here unharmed while you still can. I’ll tell the whole clan of what you’ve chosen to do, and if I see you in my territory again…” she growled down at her now-former clanmate. She fully intended to threaten her with every painful detail she’d inflict any outsider, but when the thought of actually causing Fawnface harm played out in her head, she couldn’t bring herself to. “You just better hope it’s not me!”

With that, Foxfang tore herself away and ran as fast as she could. The sooner she could end this whole ordeal, the better. She’d tell the clan about Fawnface, she’d tell them all about her betrayal, she’d have all the attention on her. She’d be the good guy. She’d tell Bluestone that she was right and maybe her mother would for once look at her like an equal. Like the kit she’d once cast away was now a respectable warrior. Even after Auburncloud left, even after Fawnface’s choice, she’d deserve at least that much.