ritsuko had never been the sort to look towards the heavens expecting an all knowing god to give her peace. never had she clasped her hands in prayer begging for answers --- yet perhaps she was reaching that level of desperation.
becoming isolated, from her work --- her team, the man she was so foolishly devoted to. the loneliness was swallowing her up & she was doubting her purpose. her livelihood --- everything.Â
so much of herself she had lost in this project...and for what ? the crippling reality was crushing all she had choose to believe in. that gendo returned her love--- that he needed her. her shame from the meeting with seele as much as she attempted to keep it down was on a slow rise.
& soon this thirty year old woman was clutching a cat shaped pillow. a reminder that her own cat had passed. just another thing she held so fondly that she loved. all she could do was cry.
cry and whisper desperately that she needed a miracle.